Me and You, Baby

Author: Lust_n_lunacy
Ratings:
PART 1:
PART 2:
PART 3:
PART 4:
Pairing: Stef/Bri
Description:  Angst Fic. Brian finds out he's going to become a father. How will the birth affect his relationship with Stefan??
"Original" link


PART 1:

“Uh huh... yep… okay. Yeah, sure, I’ll, ah...I’ll call you later. Bye.”

Brian hung up phone and stared blankly into space. Stef looked at him questioningly.

“Oh shit...”

“What’s wrong??” Stefan asked, but Brian didn’t seem to hear.

Stef stood up from the couch, walked over and shook Brian on gently the shoulder, “Bri, what’s wrong?”

“Hunh? ...Oh, wrong, nothing’s wrong ...I guess.”

“Well then what?”

“Stef, that was Helena...I’m going to be a father.”

***

Stefan fell backwards onto the bed and brought Brian tumbling on top of him. Their lips met with fervent desire as they rapidly began shedding layers.

Brian threw his top to the bedroom floor and pressed his bare chest against that of Stefan’s, relishing the heat and close contact. One couldn’t get enough of the other, their bodies were pressed tightly together and yet they ached to be closer still. Brian’s tongue swept through Stefan’s mouth in deep, explorative kisses. Only breaking momentarily to catch breath, there was a hunger and desperation in their actions.

“I want you inside of me,” Brian breathed into another heavy kiss.

Stefan’s hands trailed along Brian’s hips and over his faded denim jeans. He took hold of the waistband and was moments away from freeing Brian of their confines, when the phone next to the bed rang. Brian paused and looked from Stefan to the phone.

“Don’t even think about it,” Stefan growled playfully, nuzzling at Brian’s neck.

“I have to, what if it’s...”

Stefan sighed and slumped back against the pillows, relinquishing his hold on Brian.

“Hello? When? Yeah, okay, we...I’ll be there in 15 minutes.”

Brian hung up the phone and sat at the foot of the bed, in shock and thinking about what he was supposed to do next.

“The baby?” Stef offered.

“Yeah...a girl.” Brian breathed in amazement. “I, um, have to...get to the hospital.” Brian grabbed his shirt from the floor and began scouring the room for his keys.

Stef grabbed the keys from the bedside table and dangled them in display at Brian, “I think I’d better drive, you seem a bit overwhelmed.”

“Okay...thanks.”

Stefan gathered his shirt off the nearby chair and slid it over his head. He moved toward the middle of the room, breaking Brian’s line of sight, causing him to look Stefan in the eye.

“And, Brian…”

“Yeah?”

“Congratulations,” he smiled, before kissing the awestruck father lightly on the lips.


PART 2:

Once at the hospital Stefan stood out in the waiting room while Brian went in to see Helena and meet his first-born daughter. So soon after the birth they were only letting immediate family in, which was fine by Stefan; he wasn’t entirely sure how comfortable he would have been in that situation. Just being at the hospital was awkward enough.

He paced up to the doorway and peeked through the window to see Brian holding his baby girl for the first time. Brian’s face lit up, and his bright, blue eyes danced with a happiness that Stef had never seen from him before.

***


“Did you come here with Stef?” Helena asked.

Brian’s gaze was fixed on the tiny little girl in his hands, but momentarily diverted when he searched for an answer. He was hesitant and didn’t want to hurt her mother’s feelings.

“Ahh...yeah,” Brian replied nonchalantly.

“It’s okay Brian. We broke up almost eight months ago, you don’t have to hide things from me.”

“I know, I just wasn’t sure...” he trailed off.

“Brian, we’ve talked about this already,” Helena began and gestured to take the baby back from her father, “we broke up, and even though we have this adorable little girl, it would be wrong to get back together just because I got pregnant.”

Brian sat in the chair beside her hospital bed, and she lightly caressed his cheek. “You’re with Stefan now, and I...” Helena sighed, as she struggled to find the right words, it was hard to admit to your ex-lover and the father of your child that they should be with another person, and another man at that. “I know that he makes you happier than you’ve been in a long time.” Brian nodded. “And that’s all I need from you. I want you to be happy, not only for yourself, but for our daughter. Having two miserable parents living together isn’t going to help anyone.”

Brian looked deep into her eyes, noting the sincerity of her words. He smiled and kissed her gently on the lips, thanking her for understanding.

***


Piercing arrows shot through Stefan’s heart as he saw the scene unfold before him. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he didn’t have to. The look on Brian’s face said it all; he was in love, and he had a family now. Stef could never offer him anything like that, and it seemed to be exactly what Brian wanted…what he needed.

Where did he fit into the picture? It was only a matter of time before Helena and Brian got back together, he thought. Stefan didn’t want to be another obstacle in their way. They deserved to be happy, and he wanted them to be happy. Brian would have a hard enough time adjusting to fatherhood as it was; Stef decided he would make things easier on everyone and just remove himself from the equation.

He turned and walked down the hospital corridor, leaving Brian to start a new phase of his life. 


PART 3:

It had been three days since the birth, Brian had been busy attending to all the things a new father must attend to and Stef...Stef had been busy, avoiding Brian. However today was the band meeting, which their manager had scheduled weeks ago. Attendance was compulsory.

Throughout the whole meeting Stefan sat quietly, not wanting to draw attention to himself, though this wasn’t particularly out of the ordinary. Brian had caught Stef staring in his direction a few times and would smile back, though as soon as their eyes met, Stef would divert his attention elsewhere.

Their manager began to wind up proceedings, “...And basically that’s it. Keep your cell phones with you and I’ll let you know if I find out anything more. So if no one has anything else to add?? ...Congratulations Brian, and I must be off!”

The room dispersed, except Stefan who was waiting for Brian to leave first, to avoid speaking on the way out. However his plan backfired as Brian too lingered back, hoping to talk with Stefan.

Stef shifted uncomfortably on the couch as Brian made his way over. He was unsure whether he should make some excuse to leave, or just sit it out. Brian sat down next to him...he had to stay.


“Hey stranger,” Brian greeted him, a friendly way of letting Stef know his absence was noted.

“Hey...pops,” Stefan smiled back, weakly.

“You left early the other night...from the hospital”

“Yeah, you were busy and I had some things to do, sooo...” Stefan trailed off.

“I called you…”

“I’ve been out.”

“And you haven’t been answering your cell...”

Stefan fidgeted and scratched the back of his neck; he hated lying to Brian. “Oh you have? Yeah, it hasn’t been working properly lately...I don’t know what’s wrong with it, I think...”

Brian rested his palm against Stefan’s thigh, telling him to stop. He moved closer and cupped the side of Stefan’s face. “What’s wrong? Have I done something?”

Stef wanted to take the easy option, another lie, to tell Brian he had to be somewhere, but the sincere and pleading look in his eyes demanded the truth.

“Brian, we can’t do this anymore.”

“What?”

“This,” Stefan emphasised, removing Brian’s palm from his face.

Brian looked at Stef, dejected. “What…why?”

“You have a family now. I saw you the other night Brian, how happy and perfect you looked together. You deserve to see where this can take you. I don’t want to be the reason holding you back.”

Brian looked shocked. “Stef, since when have I let anyone hold me back?! Including you. If I want to do something it’s for my own damn good reasons. Helena and I broke up months ago; it would be insane to think having a kid together could mend all our problems. Sure, maaaybe we could make things work for a while,” Stef dropped his head, not sure he wanted to hear anymore.

Brian continued, “…BUT, it wouldn’t last Stef. I’ve been there, I don’t need to go through it again, and this time there’s not just two people involved, but also my little girl. Having a shitty relationship with Helena isn’t going to help anyone. Things don’t have to change between us.” He said, resting loving a hand on Stefan’s knee. “…But life will change for me. I guess the choice is up to you whether you want to be a part of it, but that decision was made for me.”


Stefan sat in silence; even if he could speak he wasn’t sure he would know what to say. He opened his mouth, but was cut off by Brian; once he’d started pouring his heart out, clearly he couldn’t stop. It touched Stefan that he could be so open, and hurt him even more that he might have to give this up.

“Don’t say anything...just let me finish,” Brian offered and Stefan nodded in compliance. “When I found out that you had left the hospital, I was disappointed Stef. I wanted you to meet someone the other night. ...I was hoping she’d get to know you and...love you...like I do.”

Stefan was doing everything to stop himself from welling up. It was the first time that Brian had ever indicated their seemingly ‘casual’ relationship was anything deeper than just a friendship with additional casual sex.

Brian lifted Stefan’s chin so they were looking eye to eye.

“I’m going to be at the hospital around 6 tonight...maybe I’ll see you there?” He punctuated his question with tender kiss, and lingered longer than he probably should have; but knowing it could be their last, he savoured every moment. 


PART 4:

Brian stood on the side of the glass window divide reserved for doting fathers and other family members cooing over their latest family addition. Luckily it was getting dark so Brian had the viewing area of the hospital nursery all to himself.

He glanced at his watch, 6:15pm... Stef wasn’t going to show. He looked through the glass at his sleeping bundle of joy. It was strange, the emotions she had brought out in him, who would have guessed it? Looking at her, he felt such happiness, a sense of accomplishment, and yet he knew there was still something missing in his life.


Just as he dazed off thinking about the future, two long, slender arms slinked their way around his waist.

“She’s gorgeous...just like her father,” came Stefan’s voice from behind.

Brian closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief.

Stef leant closer to Brian’s ear, “She’s got the Molko hair too.”

Brian playfully elbowed Stefan in the ribs, “I’m not that fucking bald!”

Stefan stumbled back a few steps in mock pain. Turning to face Stef, Brian saw the old familiar smile return to his face.

“I think there’s someone who needs to meet you...wanna come with?”

“Sure,” Stef smiled and slung a welcome arm around Brian’s hip as he led the way.

Brian spoke to the on duty nurse, who then brought the little girl over and offered her to Brian, who in turn looked to Stef.

“Wanna hold her?” He asked, to which Stefan nodded hesitantly.

Stef cradled the baby in his arms and the nurse grinned. “You’re a natural already,” she chuckled, before wandering back to her station.

“Stefan, I’d like you to meet Alexandra; Alexa…or Lexi for short. Alexandra, this is Stefan.”

Stefan rocked the tiny, sleeping infant in his arms, “Pretty name. Where’d you get it?”

Brian looked at Stef and grinned, “Stefan Alexander Bo Olsdal.”

Mouth agape, Stefan was lost for words... “Bri…I…really??” Brian beamed and nodded in return.

Stefan chuckled, “What’s her last name then?”

“Now that was the hard part!” Brian spouted. “Molko, Berg, Molko-Berg, Berg-Molko…Olsdal-Molko” he added with a wink. “We’ve gone with Berg, it will just make the whole school and media thing easier on her in the long run, I hope.”

Hands full, Stefan rest his head against Brian’s to connect and just be near him.


Interrupting their quiet moment, Helena appeared at the nursery door. “Hi Stef, ...Brian.”

“Congratulations” Stefan offered, “…she’s beautiful.”

“Thanks. I just came to see if the she was ready to feed.” She gestured to Alexandra, who moved restlessly in Stefan’s arms, before picking her up.

“We were just about to get going anyway,” Brian said to excuse themself.

Helena sat in the nursing chair, “You boys heading out to the clubs?”

Brian smiled and looked to Stefan, “Nah, I’m starving. Feels like I haven’t eaten for three days.” Stefan grinned, picking up on Brian’s metaphor. “Think I’ll serve something up at my place and we’ll see where the night goes from there.”

He kissed Helena on the cheek and made his way down the hospital corridor with Stefan.


Once in the car park, they remembered each had arrived in separate cars and momentarily had to part.

“Thanks...for coming,” Brian said, hand clasped around Stefan’s, stroking it unconsciously.

“I had to,” Stefan replied simply. He wasn’t a verbose man, but he used his words well, and re-enforced them with the sincerity in his eyes.

“I’ll see you at my place?” Brian asked hopefully; his arms now wrapped snugly around Stefan’s waist.

Stefan leant down and captured Brian’s lips in an all consuming, lengthy kiss. He’d been holding back the need to take Brian in his arms for three whole days.

Parting and breathless, Brian nuzzled at Stefan and quipped, “I’ll take that a yes.”

THE END

Sneak Into Your Room

Author: Lust_n_lunacy
Ratings:
PART 1:
PART 2:
PART 3:
PART 4:
Pairing: Stef/Bri
Description: An explanation behind the answering machine messages in the hidden song, Evil Dildo on Without You I'm Nothing. To escape the stalker, Stefan invites Brian to stay with him for a while.
"Original" link

PART 1:

“Hey motherfucker, I'm after you.”

Brian paced back and forth across the room as the answering machine screened yet another message. Some lunatic got a hold of his home phone number and had been calling him all week, several times a day. Brian was at the point where he didn’t even bother to pick up the phone anymore; he just let the machine get it. If it was someone he wanted to speak with he could call them back later.

A shiver passed through Brian’s spine as the caller finished, “...I know where you live” and then hung up leaving only the sound of a chilling dial tone.

Brian froze in his tracks. Previously he had laughed at this guy, obviously some wanker had just got a hold of his number and decided it would be fun boast to his friends how he pranked that fairy boy Brian Molko. But that last message was different, what if this psycho really did know where he lived?

He picked up the phone and thought momentarily, chewing anxiously on his lower lip, before dialling a number he knew off by heart.

Brian's body shivered as the phone rang.

"Pick up. Pick up. Pick up," he repeated nervously to himself.

"Hello?" the man on the other line answered. He seemed to be at a party or a club because Brian could hear an electronic techno beat pounding in the background.

"Hi, Stef," Brian said, his voice shaking. "Listen. Could you come over here? For tonight?"

Stef noted Brian's tone of voice and instantly knew something was seriously wrong. This was the man who was the bravest person he knew. Brian Molko did not get scared unless something was wrong.

"Brian, what's wro-- I'll be over as soon as I can." Stef told him.

Brian stood there silently still as Stef hung up. His mind cleared and he hung up the phone.

It's going to be ok. Stef'll protect you, he had to tell himself as he curled up on the couch and covered himself with a warm and soft blanket.

***

Hazily, Brian woke to the sight of a tall, dark silhouette hovering over him. The figure stepped closer and took hold of his arm. Brian’s reflexes kicked in, his legs flailed, sending his attacker to the floor.

His heart was racing a million miles an hour and adrenaline had kicked in. Brian leapt on top of the figure sprawled on the floor, and clutched his hands tightly around the bastard’s neck. The person beneath him was flailing madly, reaching for something in the dark… a weapon perhaps? …Not if Brian could help it, his grip tightened.

Light poured over the darkened room as the assailant grabbed at the tableside lamp. Brian froze taken aback. The person beneath him was not some crazy stalker. Crazy perhaps… but not a stalker.


PART 2:

“Oh my god, Stef!!? Are you okay????”

"I bloody well was, until you attacked me," Stef cursed at Brian as he got to his feet, brushing off the dust collected on his tight black leather pants. He looked down to see Brian on the verge of tears.

Sitting back down on the floor next to him, Stef held him tightly.

"I'm sorry, baby," he whispered softly before kissing him on the temple. A single tear dropped down on Brian's pale cheek. Stef lifted his finger to catch it and wipe it away.

"No more tears," Stef told him, looking at Brian with a half-smile on his face. Even Brian couldn't stay depressed when he saw that adorable face looking back at him. He leaned up to kiss the Swedish bassist's cheek softly, the stubble roughly tickling at his lips. He let out a small yelp, which was partly happy.

"See? You're feeling better already," Stef said, happy with the results he was already getting from Brian. "How 'bout I make you some tea? Would that make you feel any better?"

"Well, maybe if you add a special ingredient," Brian smirked. Stef laughed as he continued holding onto Brian. He had returned to his normal self; now comfortable with Stef by his side.

"I'm sure I can manage that," Stef said, getting up from the floor and walking in the direction of the kitchen. As he reached the door of the kitchen, the phone rang once again. Stef froze into position and turned his head back to Brian.

“Let it go” Brian ordered as he walked into the kitchen, Stef followed.

Brian picked up the kettle, and then eyed the bottle of whiskey. “Screw it,” he said discarding the kettle in favour of the whiskey alone.

After a couple of long gulps, Stef took the bottle from Brian. He knew lately Bri hadn’t been eating properly and that anything would go straight to his head.

“Why aren’t you picking up? …Avoiding some trick again?” Stef teased, nudging Brian’s hip. Though Brian didn’t retort with some snark or witty remark, instead he silently stared at the blank wall; tears welling in his eyes, but he refused to make a scene.

“Shit” Brian murmured as he swiped at his face with his forearm. Crying wasn’t his style, it wasn’t pretty, and it just wasn’t done.

Towering over the delicate frame before him Stef raised Brian’s face to look at him. He cupped the side of Brian’s cheek and slid the singer’s long black locks of hair behind his ear, revealing more of his beautiful face.

“Tell me” Stefan said plainly, looking in Brian’s tortured eyes.

Brian hesitated and half-heartedly attempted to retreat from Stefan’s hold, but it just made the Swede all the more forceful. “Brian, TELL ME.”

“It’s just some bastard. You know that guy that called me a couple of times a few weeks back?”

“Yeah, what a joke.”

“Well… it’s getting worse.”

“How much worse??” Stef questioned, beginning to get some sense of the fear emanating from his lover.

The phone rang again, and wide eyed, Brian listened for the message, “…a lot worse.”

Brian padded back into the lounge and retrieved the two missed messages, “Message received at 9:50pm, Thursday… play: ‘I will fuck you up the ass and I will sneak into your room and cut your cock off and stuff it in my mouth and chew it up with my little teeth.’” “Fuuuuck,” Stefan exhaled in shocked surprise, “Brian this guy is a psycho. Why didn’t you tell us things were getting this bad?”

“I just figured he’d stop eventually. Anyway, I’m getting my number changed soon…although, now I’m not so sure that’s going to help.” Brian grabbed tentatively at Stefan’s hand he didn’t need to play the second message to know what it contained, “Stef, I think he knows where I live.”

“That’s it we’re getting you out of here. At least for tonight till we get the coppers involved.”

“Where can I go? Beanie’s got Emily this week, so his spare room’s taken...”

Stefan looked at Brian incredulously, “Brian you’re staying with me.”


PART 3:

Stef glanced over to the passenger seat to how he was doing but he couldn't really tell since sunglasses masked the expressions in Brian's eyes. Instead, he reached over and gently and lovingly caressed at Brian's soft cheek.

"You know, I'm surprised I got you to pack. Usually, you put up a fight," Stef said with a small chuckle.

Brian sighed, still worried about the calls, and leaned his head into Stef's soft touch. It made him feel better to know that he was right there for him. He knew was safe with Stef. He had to fight back tears again but they were caused by a completely different reason.

Brian hoped Stef wouldn't notice the tears; he turned on the radio and played around with the radio stations until he found a song that would make him feel better.

"Oi," Stef said, playfully annoyed with Brian. He winked down at the guitar playing nancy boy.

It seemed useless now to listen to the radio because Stef pulled into the parking lot of the building where his flat was.

"Home sweet home," Stef said after finding a spot to park. He kissed Brian's cheek and got out of the drivers seat. Brian reached for his bag that rested on the back seat but that was before he heard Stef protest.

"You're a guest. And I won't have the guest carry his own bag up to my flat," Stef told him. He opened the back door of his car and retrieved the heavy bag. "Christ, Molks, I told you to pack for a couple of days, not as if you'd never see your flat ever again."

In elegant Molko fashion, Brian extended his middle finger up at Stef and giggled. He exited the car and waited for Stef to walk up next to him. Brian grabbed onto his free hand and held it innocently as they both went inside the building.


Stef laid out a blanket on the couch as Brian arranged some pillows.

“Brian, I told you, I don’t mind taking the couch, you can have the bed.”

“Don’t be such a tosser, I’m not going to kick you out of your own room. It’s bad enough as it is that I had to come here,” he said without thinking.

Dejected, Stef looked at Brian. “Bad enough? Hey it’s not like I forced you, you’re quite welcome to leave.”

Moving closer toward Stef, Brian sighed as he latched his hands around Stefan’s hips. “Don’t be like that, you know what I mean,” he murmured into the cradle of Stef’s neck.

Succumbing to his charms, Stef took Brian by the waste and stepped back, so he could take in the full sight. “Yeah, I know.” Smiling as he cupped Brian’s bare face, Stefan noted how beautiful his features were, even without his coal black eyeliner and lipsticks. Following instinct he drew Brian in and their lips softly grazed against the others.

Stefan parted from his hold on Brian and moved toward the bedroom doorway, but midway across the room he stopped and turned around, “You know where to find me... if you need me.”


PART 4:

Brian tossed and turned on the couch. No matter which way he laid he couldn’t get comfortable. Finally in a burst of frustration he sent a pillow sailing across the room, “Christ! Even the tour bus is better than this!”

He wandered across the room looking for his pillow, but in the darkness it proved to be a difficult task. Somehow Brian found himself standing outside Stefan’s bedroom door. It was slightly ajar so Brian pushed it further, just to see if Stef was also awake. The door creaked from the motion and by the moonlight streaming through the window Brian could see Stef asleep in the large Queen sized bed.

Brian chuckled to himself, a Queen sized bed for a Queen...how appropriate. He glanced back to the couch and then to the big comfortable bed where Stefan stirred slightly in his sleep.

Brian closed the door behind himself as he quietly made his way toward the welcoming space by Stefan’s side.


He slid under the covers and Stefan hazily rolled over slinking an arm around Brian’s waste pulling him close, like his very own life sized teddy bear.

“You’re awake,” Brian said in surprise.

“Mmm hmm,” Stefan eyes remained closed as he mumbled almost inaudibly.

Stef rubbed at his eyes and shifted position in the bed so that he was now facing Brian completely. He cupped Brian's cheek and he stroked it softly, using just his thumb. He was so beautiful, and the little bugger knew he was too. Stef smiled.

Brian's eyebrow lifted curiously. "What?"

"Nothing," Stef said, still smiling down at Brian.

Brian lifted up his head and planted a sweet and innocent kiss onto Stef's lips. Stef wanted to lick at Brian's tongue but he didn't dare spoil the purity of the kiss. His fingers tangled within Brian's long black hair, keeping him close even after Brian broke away from the kiss.

The moonlight shining down into the room hit the tear that fell from Brian's eye at just the right angle so that Stef saw.

"Hey," Stef said to him softly. He pulled him close and rested his head on his body. "It's alright. I'm here, remember?"

"I know," Brian said weakly. "It's j-just, I'm… so afraid still."

Stef held him tightly and kissed his forehead from the side.

"You think I'm going let some homophobic wanker even get in the same building as you?" Stef told him to reassure that he really was safe in his flat. Brian was going to stay right here under his watch until he knew that fucker was in police custody.

Brian half-smiled and turned his head to kiss Stef. He loved the way Stef felt the need to protect him. It was so sweet. The kiss, however, was anything but sweet. Brian attacked with such force that Stef playfully shoved him away.

"Watch out or you'll make me randy," Stef told him, trying with every fibre of his being to not harden. Brian was vulnerable and it wasn't right to shag him tonight. What a fine time to actually have morals he thought.

"That was the idea," Brian admitted with a smirk. Stef rolled his eyes and smiled back at him. He definitely wasn’t weak or vulnerable anymore …thank god!

Stef leaned in and kissed him, sucking on his bottom lip. Brian moaned cutely into the kiss and Stef couldn't help but smile. His hands roamed over Brian's body and soon found themselves underneath his shirt, softly caressing the warm skin beneath.

Brian sat up as he slid off his shirt and tossed it to the floor. He lay back down, before bringing Stef in for another deep kiss, tongues intertwining.

Stef pinched at his nipples playfully, knowing it was such a turn-on for Brian. He giggled at the touch and looked down to see that Stef was just as eager, his pants were tight against his body. Brian’s hand dived beneath the waistband, reached inside, and slowly started to stroke beneath.

"Mmm, Bri…" Stef moaned softly to his lover, before pitching in one last weak willed protest, “...we, we can’t.”

Brian stroked harder against Stefan’s length, determined to have his way, “Yes...we can.”

Stefan unconsciously arched his hips creating pressure against Brian and drawing a moan from them both, “I mean, we shouldn’t...” Brian smothered Stefan’s words with a deep and probing kiss that left them both panting for air.

“Fuck me,” Brian breathed into Stefan’s mouth as his stroking continued in rhythm. With feathered kisses over his lover’s jaw Brian repeated, pleading his words.

Stefan was close to the edge, but wasn’t ready for things to be over so quickly. He took hold of Brian’s wrists, pinned them above his head, rendering him powerless. Stefan straddled Brian’s legs and seeking further contact ground his hips deliciously against his lover’s body.

Brian wriggled in Stef's grip. He smiled, delighting in the painful yet extremely pleasurable feeling of the power that Stef held over him.

Stef loosened his grip on Brian's wrists and reached inside the bedside drawer. He found the lube, but then an idea came into his head. At the thought giant blissful grin spread across his face.

"What?" Brian asked him after noticing he had stopped.

"I was just thinking," Stef said, his sentence trailing off. "…if you'd want to rub it on me."

After hearing the request, Brian smiled in unison with his lover. Stef removed the hold on his captive. Swiftly, setting to task, Brian grabbed the tube eliciting the gel onto the palm of his small, pale hand. Slowly Brian began moving his hand up and down Stefan's erect length.

"Briii," Stefan moaned lightly as Brian continued to caress him gently. He worked over the length until it was ready for them both.

Brian lay down on the bed, looking up into Stef's deep, dark brown eyes. He noticed the happy twinkle that was only present when he was around Brian. "How do you want me?" Brian asked hungrily, desperate for Stef to be inside of him.

"Standing," Stef voiced, almost as if a command. Brian couldn't help but smirk as he grabbed the Swedish bassist's hand, and directed him to follow, jumping off the bed.

Stef draped his hands over Brian’s body and trailed them to remove the final barrier on his lover’s bare hips. Stef positioned Brian forcefully against the wall as he bit gently at the smooth skin on the cradle of his neck. A small cry escaped Brian's lips resulting from the force exerted as Stefan once more captured his delicate wrists above their heads. However, this was one time that Brian was more than happy to be dominated.

Stefan ached to be with Brian; unable to bear the separation any longer he briskly buried himself inside. Hips swaying, he thrust deep inside his lover as Brian embraced him tightly.

Feeling the soft, tender kisses trail over his shoulders Brian let himself relax. Stef released his wrists, preferring to take hold of Brian's petite hips, massaging vigorously. They kept the same rhythm and pulling Brian tightly against him, each thrust he moved deeper and deeper inside.

Brian moaned as Stef moved deliciously inside him. Close to completion, his hand slid down the wall, taking hold of his own fully erect length and began to stroke. Stef noticed what Brian was doing and playfully slapped the side of his arse.

"That's my job," Stef whispered breathily into Brian's ear. His voice tickled the sensitive skin. Brian slid his hand off away and Stef continued what he had started but with a faster rhythm sensing his partner’s urgency.

"Better?" Stef asked nuzzling at Brian’s neck. "Bri-aaan," he murmured against him. It wasn't much longer before he was going to come.

Brian closed his eyes and felt the pleasure inside him build with each stroke of Stef's caressing hand. "Jesus, Stef..." he groaned to his lover.

"Ohh, god, Brian!" Stef cried out, hearing his lover’s moans of delight, he could no longer hold back and with one final thrust, came inside Brian.

Brian adored the sound of his name when it was cried out in the throws of passion and gasped as he felt his lovers warming presence instantly fill him. The feeling of Stef’s hand urging him on was overwhelming as he peaked spiralling into orgasm.


Both rest their heads against the wall momentarily in an effort to regain some composure. As their racing heartbeats slowed, Stef gently pulled out of Brian and rest against his sweaty body. Brian had worn him out completely, he had a tendency to do that in many ways, and that thought brought a smile to his face. He kissed Brian’s cheek and softly murmured, “Love you”.

Brian turned in Stefan’s arms to face him.. The look in Stefan’s eyes indicated he was now off deep in thought. He closed his eyes and slowly nuzzled against Brian’s neck inhaling his musky scent, then moved to whisper in his ear... “Move in with me.”

THE END

Means Are Right For Taking

Author: Lust_n_lunacy
Ratings:

PART 1:

PART 2:
Pairing: Stef/Bri
Description: The story behind a quote by Brian that you can hear before a version of Bruise Pristine, "You didn't realize it but I made you turn the lights low like this so I can sing naked."
"Original" link


PART 1

Means are right for taking, fade to grey
Trying to be ruthless, in the face of beauty

Stef lounged on the studio sofa waiting for Steve to finish laying down the final drum track for Bruise Pristine.

Brian waltzed in to the room with a can of soda in his hand and Stef smiled at the sight. He had a bright pink bendy straw sticking out of the beverage. Drinking straight from the can was clearly too masculine a feat for him to carry out.

As if he had read Stefan’s thoughts he retorted, “Fuck off, it wrecks my lipstick if don’t use a straw!”

Slouching onto the couch with feline grace Brian lay his head across Stefan’s thigh and offered him a sip from the can. Taking it from him, Stef held his eyes on Brian. The physical touch of Brian’s presence in Stef’s lap denoted his playful mood. Stef pulled the straw into his mouth with a flick of his tongue and suggestively sucked on its end drawing the sweet content of the can into his mouth.

Brain was not oblivious to Stef’s antics and swatted at him, “Tease!”

Stefan, removing the straw from his lips, giggled at Brian. He looked down at the lady-boy's blue-green eyes in awe. Even though he had seen them practically every day for two years now, he was still taken aback at just how pretty Brian's eyes were. When he looked in those eyes, he couldn't help but smile.

He pet at Brian's freshly dyed black hair, feeling the smoothness along with smelling the pretty scent that came from the conditioner he used. Leaning down, the pair’s lips met in an innocent kiss, but it soon became more when Brian sank his tongue deep into Stef's mouth. Steve, just leaving the percussion room, came out into the hall and quickly scurried off at the sight of his fellow band mates together.

“Brian, time to record the lead vocals” came Ed, the sound engineer’s voice over the studio speakers in each room, interrupting their momentary bliss.

“Christ!” Brain sighed as he withdrew from their embrace, throwing his head back into Stefan’s lap. He lay there briefly composing himself before setting off to his private booth, but as he did, noted that he wasn’t the only one who was frustrated by their interruption.

Stef moved uneasily in his seat, suppressing the heated need that had just stirred within. Brian pulled Stef’s head down to meet his own, but to Stefan’s surprise, it was not for a final kiss.

Looking at Stef with his all too familiar grin, he asked, “Wanna play?” Stef silently nodded, leading Brian to whisper something softly into his ear before disappearing out the door.


PART 2:

Stef sat there silently, staring at Brian's ass as he walked off. The little bugger had to have been referring to himself when he wrote the line, "What a beautiful ass," in Nancy Boy. It looked especially sexy when Brian was wearing leather pants as tight as the ones he had on now.

Brian entered the small studio for vocals, slamming the door behind him. He was angry that he had been torn away from Stef, but he would get over it…soon. The room was so small that it seemed like nothing more than a soundproof cubicle. He felt a little claustrophobic but he had to focus his mind on the song, not the room he was in.

"Hey, fellas, mind if you can turn the lights down real low?" Brian asked sweetly, hoping he would get his way.

The sound technicians grew puzzled looks on their faces as if why to the singer would need darkness but they did as he said anyway.

"Thanks, fellas," Brian said, smiling. Little did they know what was about to take place in that booth.

After lights dimmed to bare existence, Brian’s head turned at the sound of the recording room door creaking open, then closing swiftly. The sound of the locks that Brian had been careful to leave open were suddenly latched into place. Brian beamed devilishly, good old obedient Stef had done exactly as he directed.

“We’ll take a quick run through from top to bottom,” boomed Ed’s words into the booth, “then we’ll pick up on specifics after.”

Brian muffled a barely audible response as Stef appeared from behind and ran his hands over Brian’s chest, trailing them down his body, bringing them to rest firmly on his rear.

“What was that Brian? I didn’t hear you.” Ed called, annoyed by the artist’s irregular demand. “Look, I think I should turn the lights back up, I can’t see your cues or tell what’s going on.”

Brian fumbled then repeated, “Uh, ‘from top to bottom’ sounds good to me Ed.” But only Stefan who had just mirrored the words with his actions understood the second meaning as Brian pressed his backside against Stef’s cradling hands.

“Brian, I don’t think…”

Brian jumped to attention, he was having way too much fun to let things end now; he had to think quickly. “You didn't realize it but I made you turn the lights low like this so I can sing naked.”

A sigh resounded over the sound system as the crew complied, “Fine Brian, just bleedin’ get on with it will ya?”

Stefan, who was still perfectly hidden from the recording crew, smiled as he stood behind Brian and still had a firm grip on Brian's ass. With his free hand, he managed to quietly disrobe Brian of his shirt. The only other item that presented a challenge to disturbing the recording was the zipper to his pants.

"Brian?" Ed asked, getting annoyed. "Come on, mate."

Brian returned his attention to the recording session, as Stef kissed him softly along the spine. "Yessss," Brian hissed pleasantly into the microphone before launching into the song. He had to stifle the giggles and small moans as Stefan's lips travelled around to his navel. Licking at it he forced Brian to giggle but thankfully he had finished running down the song by then.

Stef looked up at Brian before slowly unzipping the leather pants. He wanted Brian so badly. He couldn't wait any longer.

Cast a line with a velvet glove
Reading like an open book, in the hands of love

He nuzzled at Brian’s hip, inhaling his delicious musky scent. Not surprised to find he wasn’t wearing underwear beneath the body-hugging leather pants, Stef released Brian from the increasingly tight confines.

Brian grasped for the microphone in front of him, finding the off switch, seconds before releasing and groan of relief as Stef brought the leather barriers to rest on Brian’s thighs.

Stef knew they didn’t have much time before suspicion arose outside of the booth, so he decided to make quick work of the issue at hand. As he flicked his tongue over the tip over the tip of Brian’s arousal, Brian steadied his now weak legs by grasping at Stef’s short bleached blonde hair.

In one swift movement he took all of Brian into his mouth, swirling his tongue against the hard ridge. Brain rocked with him, clutching even tighter at Stef’s hair; it would have hurt if he hadn’t been so immersed in eliciting such sweet sounds from his lover.

He worked with fervour until he felt Brian come to completion and rest his short frame against Stef’s shoulders. Stefan held Brian at the waist as he stood, coming to tower above the pint-sized singer.

He bent down and lightly brushed his lips over Brian’s, receiving a short yet appreciative peck in return.

"So when do they want you in here for bass?"

"4 o'clock"

Brian winked at Stef, then walked to the door. "See you at four."


THE END

Brian and the Magic Cigarettes

Author: Deementia
Rating: 8 (for language & themes)
Pairing: Stef/Bri
Description: perved up Jack & the Beanstalk

Once upon a time, in far away land called Luxembourg there lived a middle-class young lad by the name of Brian Molko. (Or was he a lass? With all that make-up and girls clothes, no one was really sure.) But anyway, one mostly sunny morning he decided to get rid of his old donkey, who's name was Robert, by taking it into town and selling him. So Brian dragged the stupid jackass, who had a problem with kicking people, namely Brian, to town. On the road just outside the town, he met a jolly-looking fellow, which greatly annoyed Brian. "Hello little girl, I'm Stevie-Beanie." he said, sticking his hand out to shake. Brian smirked inside, he liked it when people mistook him for a girl. "Would you like to buy some magic beans?"
"Do I look like a dumbass? Why would I want any of your fucking beans?" Brian said with his nasal whine, glaring at the man.
"Because they're magic beans."
"Yeah. Right. Whatever. Listen ya got any cigarettes? I'll trade you this donkey for a pack, I am just dying for a smoke."
"Ok, but they're magic cigarettes. Be very careful."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, crackhead. Just give 'em to me." So he traded Robert for a pack of "magic" Marlboro Lights. "Got a light?"
"Um, no." Stevie-Beanie said and waved good-bye, trying to pull the stubborn ass behind him.
"DAMN ! I got smokes but no freakin' light!" Brian screeched and stamped his foot on the ground.
"What a bad fucking day. Jesus Christ, why's it so damn sunny? Where the hell are my sunglasses?"
He reached into his purse looking for them. "Why do I live so far from town? Damn, I'm gonna get a tan, it's too damn sunny. I wish it would rain. No, no then my mascara would run. Why don't I move to the city? I hate fucking farm work." He stormed back home.
As soon as he got there he lit up and went outside to milk the cow. "Fuck, I'm gonna mess up my hair" he muttered, pondering if getting milk was worth it and took a long drag. "God, that's good." He closed his eyes, enjoying the nicotine filling his lungs. He didn't realize he was drifting up to the sky with the smoke until a tree branch snagged on his nylon. "What the FUCK? Put me down!" he commanded, but he continued to rise. "I said put me the fuck back down!" he screamed and thrashed about. When he finally saw that was getting him nowhere (except more tired and his vocal cords hurt) he looked down and decided to enjoy the trip. He rose over his house and all the trees, higher than a kite, past the birds. He could see the town below, getting smaller and smaller and the sun above getting bigger and bigger. "Wow, this is some fucked up shit" he said, gazing in amazement at his cigarette. He rose above the clouds and then as if he hit a glass ceiling he crashed back down, landing on the fluffy clouds, but not falling through. "What did that guy put in these? LSD? Pot? Fuck, this is better than when I injected crack that time." He looked around him in awe. "Wow" The only thing he could see was more clouds and a big castle that arose from them. He gasped and craned his neck trying to see the top of it.
Not wanting to fall through the clouds he cautiously walked to the huge house and banged on the door. "Hey! Let me it. Where the fuck am I? Answer the door, damn it ! HEY! I know you're in there! Open the fuckin' door, bitch!" He jumped up and tried to reach the door knob but his fingers barely grazed it. "Well fuck. Looks like I'm screwed", he plopped down onto the porch step and pouted. "I'm stuck up here in the sky and I'm never gonna get home and I have a pedicure appointment tomorrow and my nylon's got a run." Tears began to trickle down his face. "Fuck" he said, "my eyeliner's gonna get smeared." He carefully blotted his eyes and wiped his nose on his sleeve. Brian took a drag of his cigarette, which strangely enough, had barely burned. He didn't even need to flick off the ashes yet.
He just then noticed a doggie door, next to the regular door. "That's a big damn doggie door." He got up, carefully brushing off the back of his short maroon skirt, and went to investigate it closer. If he crawled, he'd be able to squeeze through. "Well, I need to piss and I'm getting hungry. I'll just go in, if nobody's home then no one will know I was ever here, and if they are here, then I'll cuss them out for being so rude and not answering their damn door." He slithered through the doggie door. "Jeeze, how degrading, I'm not some dirty, flea-bitten, fucking dog," he complained. Just as he opened his mouth to emit another string of expletives he glanced up. Everything was oversized. He could barely see over the table and he'd have to jump to get in the chair. "Hell-ooo" he called out "I need some assistance. Anybody here?"
He waited a few seconds, no answer came, so he walked further into the castle. "Where's the goddamn bathroom? That goddamn bloody mary I had for breakfast is ready to come out. Wait a minute." He stopped and chewed his lower lip. "How the hell am I supposed to go to the bathroom? If the toilet is as big as the furniture, I'll have to use a friggin' ladder." He spied a potted plant in the corner and relieved himself in it. (ahh, so he really is a boy) "Much better. Now I'm hungry. Where's the kitchen?" He wandered down a hall to a set of swinging doors. It took all his strength to get them open enough for him to slip through, but he'd found the kitchen. "Fuck, the fridge is too big. I can't get that thing open." He was about to throw a tantrum, but then he saw a slightly steaming pot on the stove, Brian decided it was worth a try, so he pushed a big chair over to it, climbed up, and stood up, grabbing the counter as he almost lost his balance and toppled off. "Mmm, Swedish meatballs!" He fished one of the tennisball sized hunks of meat out and hopped down. "Oooh, hot, hot, hot! Whoever lives here is either still around or else they just left, but where the hell is there to go? It's only clouds."
Absent mindedly gnawing on it, he left the kitchen to explore more. All the doors in the hall were shut except one. He started down the long corridor towards it, when he heard the most terrifying sound, a single bark. He slowly turned around. At the other end of the hallway sat a beagle about the size of a lion. Then as if in slow motion, it started bounding towards Brian, gradually building speed, its ears flapping up and down and its huge pink tongue hanging out. "FUCK!" Brian shrieked and ran into the open room, struggling to shut the door, just before the dog got there to give Brian a sloppy kiss, he managed to slam it shut. The dog careened into it, then there was silence. "Oh shit, did I kill it?" Brian clamped his hand over his mouth, slowly backing away, but then he heard wimpering and the click of dog's claws on the floor as he retreated back down the hall dejectedly.
The room of which was he virtually now a prisoner (if he tried to leave he'd be attacked and get slobbered on which would truely be a disaster for his carefully styled hair), luckily turned out to be a bedroom. And a very nice one at that, it had an enormous water bed draped in emerald silk in the center. "Damnnnnn! Me and about five boyfriends could fuck on that thing!" he giggled girlishly. "I wanna lay on it." He took a running leap and landed on something hard. The huge TV across the room flicked on. "JESUS!" he jumped and almost fell off the bed. "Hmm, what do we have here?" On the screen a head bobbed up and down at the bottom of the screen, a well chiseled torso taking up the rest, hands grabbed the head and pushed it down. He picked up the huge remote (which is what he had landed on) and turned the volume up, the sound of two men moaning filled the room. It was like being at a movie theater, the head was almost as big as Brian. He tossed his meatball aside and laid back on the cool, slippery sheets, watching the scene, and began to touch himself. Before he knew it he had cum all over his velvet skirt. "OOPS, fuck" He wiped it off as best as he could on the bedsheet. He forced himself to switch the TV off and move on.
After a fuck like that he needed a cigarette, glancing down at his hand, he saw he still had the other one, which was only about half gone. After the bed, the next thing he was drawn to was the vanity.
"EEEEEEEEE-AH, make-up! My fave!" he squealed with glee. He hopped up on the chair, his feet dangling and barely tall enough to see his whole face in the lit-up mirror. His eyes wide in delight, he rummaged through the many industrial-sized tubes, bottles and compacts. He'd settled on a sparkley pink slipstick when his eyes lit on a tube of shimmery gold lipstick. "This one! Oh, I love it. It's sooooo pretty." He carefully glided it onto his full lips, it went on so smoothly, he french kissed the back of his palm, it didn't rub off. He gazed at himself in the mirror from all angles. "Damn, I'm sexy." He smiled, he pouted, he pursed, he frowned, he put on his best orgasm face. Oh, it was perfect. Then he let out a screech that could wake the dead. It had a matching nail poilsh! His beautiful face fell when he noticed they didn't have any label, where could he buy such an awesome color back home? He knew he couldn't so he did the unthinkable for a nice lady-boy like him, he slipped them into his purse.
Suddently feeling bored and a little guilty he flitted off to the next diversion.
An open cabinet next to the TV caught his eye. His jaw dropped when he saw what was inside.
"VIDEOS!" he screeched delightedly. "My sized PORN videos! This guy must not have an over-sized VCR, how convenient for me." He skimmed the titles. "It won't hurt to take just one, he'll never notice" he rationalized as he slipped a promising looking one entitled "Nancy Boys At The Mall... After Hours" into his purse. "God this place just keeps getting better and better. This guy seems like my kinda man, too bad he's not normal sized. I'd shag him if he was. Oh wait, I bet he's got a huge..." He didn't finish his sentence. He heard a key in the front door, followed by a slam and the sound of heavy footsteps. He spun around looking for a place to hide. He dove under the bed. The footsteps seemed to get closer and then they stopped.
Brian felt around in the semi-darkness for a weapon or something. His hand clasped around something long, cold and cylindrical. "What the fuck?" he whispered. It was a dildo, a footlong fucking golden dildo and it was almost as thick as a baseball bat. "Shit" he squeaked and pulled his hand away, not sure if he wanted to touch it, (he didn't know where the hell that thing had been) but the footsteps resumed. As they got closer he grabbed the dildo, ready to strike anybody that came near him. Actually the dildo felt rather nice in his hands, very realistic, he could just imagine it up his ass, and decided to take it home with him if he ever got out of there alive. Then the door flew open, he peered out. All he saw were a pair of huge black boots. He heard the giant sniff the air and then a voice boomed out:
"FEE FI FO FEEN
I SMELL THE CUM OF A LUXEMBOURGER QUEEN!
I'LL FIND HIM AND FUCK HIM UP THE ASS,
UNLESS HE'S UGLY THEN I'LL PASS!"
Brian stifled a scream and cowered back against the wall. The giant paced around the room and suddenly dropped to the floor, a hand shot under the bed and grabbed Brian by the arm. He was dragged out from his hiding place and picked up by his collar, his feet dangling a few feet off the ground.
"Hey, watch it! This shirt is real silk. Put me down!" He yowled, kicking out, swinging the big dildo. It connected with the giant's forearm and the giant also shrieked (but not nearly as loudly) and dropped Brian. He scrambled to his feet and glared up at the giant (who wasn't that much of a giant. He was only about 3 feet taller than Brian and just as thin.)
"What are you doing under my bed?' the blond giant bellowed. "And why do you have my dildo?"
"I think YOU should tell me what the fuck is going on here. I don't know how the hell I ended up here in the clouds. I just lit up a cig and all of a sudden here I was. I came in just trying to find some fucking assistance and then you barge in here and scare me half to death." He paused to take a puff of his cigarette which was finally almost out. He went on "I knocked and came in through the doggie door because no one answered and I wondered if who ever lived here was oàk, because ya know, there's not exactly many places to go up there in the clouds or whatever." he gasped for breath and continued "You came in here screaming so I just grabbed the first thing handy for a weapon. I thought maybe the house was deserted or you were dead or sick or... I just wanna go home." He started to sniffle and tears welled up in his eyes. Okay, so that's not exactly why but the giant sure did look pissed and Brian didn't want to get fucked up the ass until they at least knew each other a little better. But his excuses must have worked because the giant now looked down guiltily.
"Um, sorry. Just please don't cry." the giant mumbled, awkwardly pattin Brian's head, and then invited him to the kitchen for some Swedish meatballs.
"No thanks, not hungry, but I will come with you and talk. My name is Brian, by the way." He had to practically run to keep up with the giant's long strides, not easy to do in 3 inches platform boots.
"I'm Stefan. So tell me how you got here and maybe we can figure out how to get you back."
"Um, a little help here please." Stefan picked Brian up, gently this time, and set him in a chair at the kitchen table. Brian started to explain how he ended up in the sky.
"Wait, wait, wait. You traded your donkey for a pack of smokes?" Stef interrupted. "Yeah he was an annoying fuck, he kicked a lot. Besides they were magic."
"You could have sold him and bought several packs."
"That's beside the point" Brian said, a bit angry at his actions being questioned. But Stefan let him tell the rest of the story without interruption. Brian gazed at Stefan as the giant thought about his predicament.
"God, he's cute." Brian thought, for once keeping his impressions to himself. He would definitely have to try to get in his pants later. He took one last drag and finally put his cigarette out.
"Maybe if we go outside and look around we'll find a clue." Brian resisted the urge to give Stef his sexiest smile and tell him he was the handsomest genius he'd ever met. As they walked to the door Brian slipped his tiny hand into Stef's. Stefan looked down at him surprised, but didn't pull away.
"HOLY SHIT!" Brian screamed. As soon as his foot left the porch and touched the clouds he started to fall, plunging back down to earth, Stef being pulled down with him. He landed in his cow's pen on his ass with a heavy thud. A bit dazed he just sat there, groaning. A voice calling his name prompted him to get up and look around. Stefan had landed a few feet away.
"Fuck Stef, you've shrunk! You're still a whole head taller than me, but you've definitely gotten shorter." Stef looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings and then at Brian. He started laughing.
Brian HATED being laughed at.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS SO FUNNY?" he steamed.
Stef gasped trying to get his breath back enough to talk. When he had regained some semblance of his composure back, he pointed at Brian and said "You've got cow shit all over your precious silk shirt." Brian looked down at himself. Indeed Stefan was right, he was covered with it, but Brian also started laughing because Stef was too. "I knew I should've moved to the city. Come on, come on in my house, let's get cleaned up and figure out what the fuck just happened."
Brian helped Stef up, realizing he still had the golden dildo in his belt loop where he had thrust it.
"And then we can fuck."


...And that my friends, is how Brian and Stefan met. The whole school in Luxembourg was all made up, I mean, why would a Swede be going to an American private school anyway?...


THE END

Boredom

Author: Placebobitch/Evilduck
Rating:
Pairing: Bri/Stef
Description: A little short fic about Brian getting bored in the recording studio. 
Original link

Brian gazed around the small room, huffing impatiently. He was bored. He stared at the mixing desk for a while before the familiar sounds of a bass guitar being tuned brought his eyes to the glass panel in front of him. He smiled as he watched Stefan, seemingly engrossed in the task of tuning and looking positively adorable in the huge studio headphones. The bassist was recording additional parts for a new track that was nearly complete, which meant a whole day of Brian doing nothing. Steve of course had taken the sensible option and just stayed at home, saving himself 10 hours of boredom in the process.

Brian sighed pitifully to himself as he glanced at his watch for the third time that minute. There was still an hour until the lunch break. He tilted back on the chair slightly as the familiar riff from their newest song started to drift through the speakers. His attention was captured by Stefan again as he joined in with the song, and Brian didn’t notice the front chair legs teetering dangerously off the ground.

There was a muffled scream and a loud crash and Stef looked over just in time to see his boyfriend fall backwards hopelessly onto the floor. He hurried over concernedly, but couldn’t help smiling as Brian’s head emerged from behind the mixing desk looking thoroughly embarrassed.

“Are you ok?” Stef asked, a large grin now firmly plastered on his face. His voice was amplified from the microphones and through the speakers into the mixing room. Brian forced a smile and nodded to Stef through the soundproof glass.

“I’ll be finished with this in a few more takes, then we can go and get something to eat.” Stef replied as he swung his bass back into position. He stepped back into the middle of the room and resumed the song where he left off.

Brian sat back on the chair carefully, wincing slightly from a bruised backside and making sure all four legs were firmly on the ground.

/Only a few more takes/ he thought to himself as he drummed his fingers on his knee. /I can survive another half an hour/

Unsurprisingly a few minutes later, Brian was bored again. Even the novelty of watching Stef playing the bass had worn off. His eyes travelled around the room searching for something to entertain him until they came to rest on the mixing desk. It had ever looked so attractive before, with all its flashing buttons, sliders, knobs and labels. Brian felt like a child in a sweet shop and tried to resist going over to play but his hands got the better of him and dragged his chair closer to the shiny grey surface. He had a look around at it carefully as he tried to work out what buttons did what, then impatience took over and he jabbed at the nearest flashing button.

It did nothing.

Brian waited for about a minute.

Still nothing had happened.

Undeterred he moved on to the next flashing button and read the label first before poking it.

“double..” he murmured, hesitating for a moment before pressing it down. At first he thought nothing had happened again, when all of a sudden the music playing accelerated in tempo sending it into a frenzy of screeching guitars and drums. Stefan visibly jumped and would have dropped his bass if it wasn’t for the strap around his neck. He instantly glared at Brian, who was wearing a sheepish grin and trying to look innocent.

“Brian.. What did you-” Stefan asked, sounding very unimpressed. Brian cut him off with a quick shrug of the shoulders and inconspicuously pushed the button again. The music returned to normal and he breathed a sigh of relief, leaning back on the chair before springing forward as he remember his earlier accident. Stef rolled his eyes as he once again resumed playing the bass riff and silently praying that Brian would let him finish it this time.

Brian fidgeted. He desperately wanted to do something but he had finally realised that he could go once Stef finished recording. And to do that Brian had to sit still and cause no more disturbances. He sat on his hands to stop them roaming where they shouldn’t and chewed on his lip as he stared at the ceiling. He became so engrossed in a penguin-shaped spot on the tiles that he didn’t even notice the music stop. It was only when the door to the mixing room softly clicked open that he brought his attention away from the ceiling and looked around himself.

Stef was standing in front of him, smiling at the innocent look on his face and holding out a hand to help him to his feet.

“Can we go now?” Brian asked as he took Stef’s hand and let himself be pulled up.

“Mhmm all done. See that wasn’t so hard.” Stef replied, placing a small kiss on the singer’s lips.

“Nope. I just needed something to occupy myself with.” Brian grinned.

“Oh? Maybe next time I should get you a nice teletubbies puzzle or something?” Stef smirked as they walked out of the studio. Brian punched him lightly on the arm in protest.

“A Barbie one would be better.” he retorted with a smile.

Please Hang on to Me

Author: Placebobitch/Evilduck
Rating:

Pairing: Stef/Bri, Stef/Steve implied
Description: Inspired by the lyrics of the Hang on to Your IQ Demo. This was just something inbetween One More Time For Me.
Original link

Stef lazily stroked my arm, the alcohol induced lust glazing over his eyes. I knew what he wanted, I had known from the moment he invited me back for a drink. The idle chatter and mindless conversation all inevitably leading us to this moment in time. I tried to play coy to his advances in a vain effort to convince myself that I didn’t want it. But I know I did. My whole body and soul was burning with a fiery passion for his touch and I found myself begging for him. Begging to feel his large calloused hands run effortlessly across my skin. He abandoned the bottle of beer carelessly on the table before turning back to me and sliding one arm around my back. The touch made me tremble with anticipation and I stared into his eyes, willing to see something that would make it ok. His breath was hot and heavy on my lips and the smell of stale alcohol hung acrid in the air, but I didn’t care. Tonight it was going to mean something.

Stef grew impatient of my mental meanderings and made the first move, swiftly pressing our mouths together in a quick lustful action. He locked his other hand around my neck to prevent me from moving and probed my mouth with his tongue. I gave in instantly, allowing him to kiss me properly as a million and one thoughts ran through my head. Every memory of every past lover I had ever had were erased instantly, all being replaced with the sensation of Stef kissing me. I didn’t need to remember anything else, didn’t need to know anything as long as we were here, lips crushed together like bruised fruit and hands flailing like impatient teenagers.

Tonight, touch me when our passion's through. That's right, they're all dead I'd hate to miss you.

He lifted me up gently. So gently I could almost believe he really cared about me. Almost. I closed my eyes as he lay me down on the bed sheets, I didn’t need to look around to know where I was. I had been here many times before in my dreams. His bedroom, a sacred place where only your loved ones were meant to share intimacy with you. So why was I here? A cold chill wrapped around my body as he opened the window, leaving me alone and unwanted while he moved across the room.


Feeling so much older now my body's colder. Tonight, you crush me like I was a boulder.

Memories from earlier in the night came flooding back, assaulting my mind for the few seconds I was alone.

/”Steve, come dance with me.” Stef begged, pulling at his band mate’s arm like a lost child.

“No Stef. I don’t do dancing. Take Brian.” Steve replied stubbornly.

“I’m not in the mood for dancing.” I sighed, staring down into the empty confines of my glass and contemplating getting another. On my way to the bar I could hear Stef’s relentless pestering and I knew he wouldn’t back down. Steve would have to dance with him in the end, and I was filled with a mix of curiosity and dread to watch the scene unfold in front of me. I turned at the bar and leant back on it just as Steve finally submitted and held his arms in the air for the taller man to drag him to his feet. Stef dragged him into the middle of the seething mass of bodies, and I have to admit I actually craned my head slightly to get a better view. They moved slowly together at first as Stef’s bravado and confidence had disappeared, giving way to tension and unease. They slowly unwound as the song progressed, gravitating naturally towards each other and keeping a smooth, steady rhythm. You could actually feel the sexual chemistry flowing between them and it made my blood boil. Steve locked his gaze onto the taller man for a fleeting second and I saw doubt, recognition, confusion, love, lust and pain pass between them in unspoken words. I knew in an instant that something had happened between them. Something recent, and only admitted in hushed tones between the two of them when they thought they were alone. I slammed my glass down on the smooth bar surface so hard it’s a wonder it didn’t shatter. I wanted to tear my eyes away from the scene in front of me and to pretend I had never seen it, yet something compelled me to keep watching. Stef was pulling them closer together, weaving his enchantment more tightly around the drummer. He leant forward, lips casually brushing against his ear and uttering silent pleas. But Steve’s eyes snapped open, breaking the spell as he quickly walked back to our seat, shaking his head as if trying to forget the last three minutes. How I wish I could./


It takes two to piss in faces, keeps alive but leaves no traces. Trigger shoots like violent chases, in this depth is my oasis.

Back to the real world, to the harsh reality as Stef joined me on the bed. He slid in between my thighs, grasped at my shoulders and pressed short sweet kisses to my flushed skin. I gasped as I felt his lips on my flesh, muttering his prayers to my body in his drunken state. He forgot my identity; I could be anyone to him. Another nameless, faceless body to be used and left. I silently pleaded for him to glance up and see who I was, for him to recognise what this meant to both of us. But he didn’t. He pulled my top off in an expert manner and simply continued his worship of my chest, the bare expanse of skin that could have belonged to anyone.


Hang on to your IQ, Hang on to your ID, Hang on to your IQ, and please hang on to me.

He trailed his fingers along my skin, whispering sweet appraisals of my own beauty as he tugged his shirt off. I couldn’t resist feeling his chest against mine as I watched it being revealed and I pulled him down to my body. The heat was unbearable as our bodies writhed together, sweat mingling as hands explored the delicate contours of each other. I moaned as his fingers pinched at my nipples, marveling at the way he knew exactly how to turn me on. I thought for a fleeting second that I shouldn’t be doing this, but my body contradicted my mind as I felt myself grow hard under his touch. He made light work of my belt buckle, hastily pulling down the zip and exposing more burning skin to the cool night air.

“No underwear..” he muttered to himself, licking his lips as he pulled my jeans down further. He shed his own clothes quickly before climbing back onto the bed with an ease I wouldn’t expect of someone in his state. He slid on top of my body, pushing our erections together as he ground his hips desperately. He weighed next to nothing due to his slim frame. I slipped my hand around the back of neck, teasing my fingers gently through the velvety hair as I pulled him closer. He stopped his movements for a few seconds as he stared into my eyes. It was as if he had a brief moment of clarity and realised that I wasn’t the one he wanted. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again on a second thought. I reached up with my other hand to brush his lips softly.

“Stef..” I started, but he hushed me with a kiss. The intensity helped us both to remember that we couldn’t have what we wanted.


Tonight don't speak my name. Tonight let's break the rules of this boring game.

Stef started to move again with a newly found passion. He smothered attention over my chest and thighs, lavishing licks and kisses to every inch of bare skin. Yet always avoiding my eyes as if to protect himself from the harsh truth. His lips flitted closely to my throbbing erection and I gasped at my need for contact. Slowly his tongue reached out, finally tasting the base of my cock before dragging along the underside in one smooth stroke. I moaned loudly and screwed my eyes shut as my hands clawed at the bed sheets in desperation. His mouth closed over me, enveloping me in warm bliss and sucking my soul out before releasing me and moving his head back. He thrust forward again as he gained confidence and rhythm, using his tongue to caress me. My back arched as he sucked forcefully, hollowing out his cheeks and causing intense friction. Animalistic sounds escaped my mouth as he continued this delightfully sweet torture and I begged for more. I lifted my hips to push further forward and his own hand crept between his thighs to his abandoned erection. He let out a strangled moan as his fingers caressed his swollen flesh and the noise resonated around my own cock. I felt myself being drawn over the edge as our pants and moans became louder.

Singing songs not meant to be sung, beating like my bleeding heart. Careless slipping of the tongue on just another private part.

Stef pulled away just before I was pushed into oblivion and I whimpered softly at the lack of contact. He pushed me onto my back and moved quickly between my thighs, wrapping my legs around his waist. He leant down to kiss me hungrily and I pushed back just as forcefully. I moaned into his mouth as I felt his cock press against my entrance and moved my hands down across his back. We both needed it hard and fast and we needed it now, in a strange semi-conscious effort to feel something. He pushed forward swiftly, his cock stretching my muscles unrelentlessly. I let out a shout as he entered me dry and a burning sensation stung through me. He pulled out and then thrust back in as he started to work up a steady rhythm. His hips slammed against my own, causing the skin to glow red and adding a dull pain to the already electrifying feel of him inside me. My body moved as one with him as we felt a sense of connection. Tears started to roll down my face as we moved harder and faster, partially due to pain and partially due to the stinging knowledge inside me that he didn't want this. Not with me anyway. He closed his eyes and threw his head back in bliss as we rocked together, and I knew it wasn't my face he could see.

"Oooh god." I moaned as he wrapped his hands around my cock, pumping furiously. He returned the cry, lifting my hips slightly to allow him better access.

Nothing tastes as sweet as excess in this empire of the senses.

We were both drawing near, our release looming with an ever increasing speed. I came first, the come spreading between our bodies as my mind filled with thoughts, words, songs and images. Everything that reminded me of Stef came speeding through my mind in the second that I hit my peak. I screamed out loud to nameless deities and gods, praying for the feeling to last forever and that the aftermath would never come. My muscles contracted around Stef as he continued to thrust and he came shortly after me. He cried out in a burst of obscenities and a tangle of words, but one resonated around my ears like a gun shot.

"Steve"

It snapped me back to consciousness instantly as he collapsed against my chest in exhaustion. He pulled out of me slowly as I lay silently in static shock. In a sudden moment of sobriety he pulled the sheets out from underneath us and covered our spent bodies. He curled up next to me sleepily, seeking out warmth from my skin and wrapping his long arms around me out of instinct.

"I love you" he mumbled against my skin. But it wasn't me he was telling. I clung onto his body, trying to hold onto the feeling of Stef loving me. I knew it would be gone by the morning, just like the memories of this night. It would be another night that we would agree to forget. But for now, until we woke up in the hungover haze of the morning, Stef was finally mine.


Some key morning and I'll get used to slashing back and choking. Tonight when you said you loved me you were joking.
Rabid search for stoned affection fights the lust that breeds infection. Please hang on to me.

Minific (unnamed)

Author: Placebobitch/Evilduck

Rating:

Pairing: Stef/Bri

Description: Just a little drabble written whilst on msn to Laeti.

Original link

Brian sighed as he looked out of the window at the passing countryside.

"Hmph. I hate English winters. It's always so cold and rainy."

He pouted a little as he said the last sentence and stretched his toes out across the sofa. I love it when he pouts. His lips form the most delicious shape and he looks so innocent. Well, kind of innocent anyway. I let a faint smile play across my face, and looked out of the window too. I have to admit I'm not a big fan of English weather either. Its always cold and raining, just like it is today. The rain was making some interesting patterns on the window though, and I just watched it in silence. The raindrops pattering against the glass, coupled with Bri's light breathing made me feel calm and safe. Though Steve's loud snoring from the back of the tourbus was mildly irritating.

"How much longer til we get to London?" Brian's soft voice cut through my random musings.

"I don't know love. Probably a few hours"

"Damn. It's sooo boring being stuck on this bloody bus" He sighed and started pouting again. God he looks so adorable.

"Well there's things we can do to pass the time..."

"Like what?"

"Like sleep, I'm tired, you had me up all night!" I yawn loudly and perhaps a bit too unbelievably to prove my point.

"aww, you had me all excited there for a moment. Well, losing sleep was worth it wasn't it?!" He grinned devilishly and went for my ribs. I let out a girlish squeal and struggled underneath him as he pinned me to the sofa and started a massive tickling attack.

"noo.. ahhh... stop.. hehe... it!"

"Or what? You'll threaten me more?!" He grinned again and continued. I grabbed his wrists and eventually managed to stop him, thank god! He collapsed on top of me and shivered slightly.

"I'm cold, this bloody bus has no heating" He said, his voice muffled from my shirt.

"Of course it does"

"Well its not working" I can sense another Bri-pout here, even though his cute little face is buried in my chest.

"Aww Bri-pie's all cold" I wrapped my arms protectively around his small body and pulled him close to me. He lifted his head off my chest and smiled. His hair had fallen across his face, so I moved it out of the way with one hand. My fingers caught his chin and I pulled his face down towards mine. I captured those beautiful lips in a sweet kiss, and softly stroked his side with my free hand. He gently kissed back, sucking on my lip and playing with my tongue. He rolled off me and onto his side and cuddled into me. I put my arm around his shoulder and pulled a nearby blanket around us. He giggled slightly and looked up at me with shining eyes.

"I love you Stef."

"I love you too sweety." I kissed his forehead and then snuggled down in the blanket. He intertwined his little legs with mine and rested his head on my chest.

"Maybe english rain isn't so bad after all.."

And with that I fell asleep comfortably in my lovers arms.

Christmas Spirit

Author: Placebobitch/Evilduck

Rating:

Pairing: Stef/Bri

Description: A placebo version of a Christmas tale.

Original link

Stef took a last long look in the mirror, everything had to be perfect for tonight. He had picked out his outfit carefully, selecting clothes he thought he would appreciate. Something that would make him be noticed. He took a quick glance down at his watch, if he didn’t leave soon he was going to be late. With a small sigh he turned back to the mirror.

“It’s tonight or never” he told himself, then contented he left the apartment.

Steve meanwhile was hopping around the living room of Brian’s flat on one foot.

“Where’s me bloody other shoe Bri?” he called out, whilst trying to keep his balance as he searched. Brian smirked as he popped his head round the doorframe.

“No idea luv. But why the fuck are you hopping?” he asked, wrinkling his nose slightly.

“Because, some little bitch spilt wine all over the carpet.” Steve announced exasperatedly. Brian feigned a look of innocence as he disappeared back into his room. He heard Steve give a small cheer as he obviously found his missing shoe. He turned back to the mirror on his dressing table and continued applying his make-up. He had to look perfect for tonight. It was the annual Christmas Eve party and all their friends and industry people would be there. He might even get lucky! Steve let out a loud sigh from the living room.

“Why the fuck do I always get stuck giving you a lift? You take so bloody long. Why couldn’t Stef do it?” he complained as he flopped himself down on the sofa.

“I dunno actually, I think Stef said he had something to do before the party” Brian commented, as he finished meticulously applying his mascara, and pouted approvingly for his reflection.

“Right I’m ready” he said as he swanned past Steve towards the door. Steve looked happy and got to his feet.

“You know, we might just be on time for once” he said as he closed the flat door.

Stef was shaking. His hands were actually shaking as they clutched the steering wheel. He cursed himself mentally. “Why am I so scared? It’s just the annual Christmas party. Nothing different” he said to himself. /Oh but something is different/ a little voice in the back of his head piped up. /This year, things are going to change./ Stef sighed to himself, then made a sudden swerve to the left as he realised he had arrived. He pulled into the car park violently, somehow managing to avoid hitting anything else, then finally turned the engine off. He leaned his head against the cool window pane and tried to stop his heart beating so rapidly. He was quickly brought back to the real world by a small tapping noise right by his ear. He jumped and looked out of the window to see a grinning Steve and a shivering Brian. Stef got out of the car carefully and took his time locking it.

“Fuuck, its bloody freezing” Brian’s slightly irritated voice cut through the air. Stef turned to look at him. He looked perfect. Always so perfect. He was wearing a slightly transparent, shimmery black shirt. Teamed with some simple light blue ripped jeans, and light eye make-up.

“Stef, what you staring at? Can we just get inside?!” Brian said, as he turned towards the warmth of the club doors. Steve quickly followed, and Stef trailed behind.

*a few hours later*

Brian had proceeded to get very drunk. After all the record company were paying for everything, so he figured he should drink as much free alcohol as possible. He was now doing a tour of the club, telling everyone how much he loved them. Stumbling onto one lap after the other, spilling most of his wine everywhere. Most people didn’t seem to mind though, as they all seemed to be in various states of intoxication. Eventually he found his way over to Steve.

“Wheres Steffie gone?” he slurred slightly as he plonked himself down next to Steve.

“Ummm...” Steve wrinkled up his forehead in concentration as he tried to remember who Stef was, “Oh yeh, toilet. He went quite a while ago though, dya think he’s alright?”

“Yeh he’sss a big boy that Steffie” Brian said as he fell sideways onto Steve. He giggled slightly up at him, and grinned.

“Ya know I love you Stevie” he said as he smiled up from his lap.

“Yes Bri, and apparently you love everyone else too” Steve smiled back, with just a hint of sarcasm. Brian just giggled in response and stayed quite happily in Steve’s lap. Just then a group of people walked over to the table, with Stef bringing up the rear.

“ahh, you” Brian said as he tried to focus on the crowd sitting around him “I fucking love you!” he announced, not quite sure who to though. He suddenly felt strong warm arms pulling him up from Steve’s lap, and practically dragging him away to a corner of the club. Brian blinked a few times as Stef’s dark outline swam into vision. He stumbled slightly as he couldn’t quite stand up on his own.

“Bri? I have something I need to tell you” Stef said, as he held him up straight. He was about to continue when Brian clumsily pressed a finger to his lips.

“Shhh I know” he said. Stef looked slightly confused.

“You do?” he queried. Brian nodded to emphasize his point.

“Yesh, and I fucking love you too Steffiieee” he said throwing his arms out, and grabbing Stef in a hug. Stef was trying to reply, when all of a sudden Brian spotted Xavoir walking back to the table with a tray full of drinks.

“But you! Xav! I love you the most, you bring more alcohol!!!” he yelled across the club, and stumbled back to the table.

Most of the guests had left now, and there were just Steve and Brian sitting at the same table, with a few other people scattered around the club. Brian cuddled up to Steve, trying to shake off the hangover that was already looming.

“When did Stef leave?” he asked with closed eyes.

“Quite early actually. He said he wasn’t feeling too well.” Steve replied, as he tried to get up.

“Oh, I hope he feels better in the morning” Brian said, squirming as Steve got up from beneath him. Steve pulled him to his feet, and handed him his coat.

“Well you phone him in the morning, he didn’t look too good. Right we’re gonna go now” Steve said. Brian nodded in response and allowed himself to be led out of the club and into Steve’s car. Soon he was standing outside his flat door, with Steve trying to open it for him. He eventually managed and Brian gratefully trudged inside and flopped onto his bed. He almost fell asleep instantly. Steve sighed, and removed his coat and shoes before tucking him under the duvet.

“Night Bri, Happy Christmas” he called out as he walked out the front door.

“You too Stevie” Brian replied, as he sank into the warm bed.

Brian was in the middle of having the most curious dream when suddenly he found himself awake. He glanced sleepily at the clock beside him and it read 2:00 am. He sighed and went to roll back over to sleep, when he heard a strange noise. It sounded like paper rustling. Then he found the smell of cheap alcohol invading his nostrils. He sat up to find the source and gasped in shock. Stood in the corner of the room was Steve. Except he was ghostly white, and dressed in what seemed to be small slips of paper. Brian looked closer and saw they were actually electricity bills and rent slips. His hair was messy and tangled, and there were dark rings around his eyes. Then Steve gave a small cough and almost glided forward, clutching a pale white bottle of cheap cider. Brian shuffled backwards in his bed, until he was crouched up by the headboard.

“Ste... Steve?” Brian managed to whisper. Steve just looked confused.

“Steve? No. My name is Passé. I am the spirit of Christmas Past” he said as he slid a bit further towards the bed. Brian managed a small squeak as he tried to press himself further against the headboard.

“What? No, Steve what have you been taking? If you’re trying to scare me it’s bloody working.” Brian whispered. Passé moved right up to the side of the bed. Brian gasped as he saw that he was actually slightly transparent, and he could see right through him and to the other side of the room.

“Wha.. what the fuck do you want with me?” Brian squeaked again, shivering slightly as Passé leaned in closer.

“I’m here to show you Christmases past. In the hope that you will learn something that will make you a better person.” as he spoke, his breath was icy cold. Suddenly the room around them swirled and disappeared, and Brian found himself standing in his old flat. The first one he had when they had formed Placebo. He saw Stefan standing in the corner of the room, and practically ran over to him.

“Stef, what the fuck is happening?” he started to ask, but Stefan looked straight past him. There was a soft moan from another room and he walked towards it. Brian tried to move out of the way, but Stef walked right through him. Brian gasped in shock.

“What the fuck just happened there?!” he spun around questioningly and saw Passé standing next to him. "What the fuck is going on?! This is some bad trip!"

“It’s a memory, nothing you say or so makes any effect. They can’t see you.” he explained, then moved towards the room Stefan had disappeared into. Brian ran for the front door and put his hand out to try and turn the handle. But he couldn't. His hand just went through it like he was a hologram. He looked around for another way to escape, but there was only one window in the corner and it was shut. He wanted to think of a way to leave, but he found himself strangely drawn to the corner of the room. He took a deep breath and let his body move where it wanted to go, and found himself standing in his old bedroom. Stefan was sitting on the bed, handing a cup to a figure huddled in it. Brian curiously moved closer to the bed, and saw himself lying in it. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. It was strange seeing himself laying there in bed, his old hair spread out across the pillow, his face contorted into pitiful expression. The memory Brian gave a harsh cough and sniffed, then extended his hand towards Stef’s.

“Oh I remember this” Brian exclaimed, “This was that Christmas when I was ill with the flu, and Stef.. he looked after me”. Passé nodded in approval, and suddenly the room started to spin again. Brian clung onto his arm as everything was swirling.

“Ahh all this spinning is making me feel ill” he complained, but suddenly a new scene started to take shape. He found himself now standing in a cold dark alleyway. There was music pounding through the wall next to him, so Brian assumed this must be next to a club. He pulled his arms round himself in an effort to keep warm. Who knew memories could be so cold? Suddenly he heard voices coming round the corner. Some loud arguing ones, and his own. Three large men came into view dragging Brian along behind them. He was laughing, and obviously drunk. One of them pinned him up against the wall and threatened him loudly. The memory Brian just laughed and then spat in his face. Brian cringed as the largest of the three sent a fist flying into his face. He was too busy watching himself getting beaten up to notice Stef creeping up behind the men. He punched the one holding Brian in the back of the head and he fell to the floor. Then he turned to the other two, brandishing a bottle he was holding. They obviously decided to give up and went back inside the club. As soon as the larger one had dragged himself off the floor and followed the others, Stef ran over to Brian. He was lying on the floor, crumpled in one corner by the wall. There was blood coming out of his nose and mouth, and his eyes were half closed. Brian walked closer to the pair so he could hear what they were saying.

“I.. I’m so sorry Stef” the memory Brian was sobbing into Stef’s arms. Stef pulled him closer.

“Shh, it’s not your fault, it’s ok now” he soothed into his ear. As Brian stepped in closer to them, he noticed something glinting in the pale streetlight. It was tears, slowly slipping down Stefan’s face, as he tried to comfort Brian.

“Oh shit, I remember this too. I can’t believe Stefan risked his life to save me.. and I didn’t even thank him..” Brian said quietly to himself. He jumped slightly as Passé spoke over his shoulder.

“One more memory now..”

He pulled Brian to his feet and away from the sobbing couple on the floor. Brian shut his eyes as everything started to spin again, it really made him feel queasy. He felt a jolt as his feet hit solid floor, and he opened his eyes to look around him. They were standing in his living room, this couldn’t have been more than two years ago. Brian and his ex, Olivia, were sitting on one of the sofa’s against the wall. Steve and Karen were sitting on another, with Stef on the sofa. They seemed to be in the middle of exchanging presents. Olivia handed Brian a small package and he opened it quickly, grinning when he saw the contents.

“It was a platinum plated watch, so lovely” Brian murmured to himself as his memory self gleefully tried his new gift on, then leapt onto Olivia. He started smothering her with kisses as she giggled. Brian noticed Stefan hurriedly get up and make his way to the kitchen. Steve quickly followed him, so Brian walked towards the kitchen.

As he walked in, he saw Stef leaned up against the counter sobbing his heart out. Steve seemed to not know quite what to do, so he pulled him into a hug, and just held him.

“It’s awful.. I’m so sorry” Stef was saying over and over again, as Steve tried to comfort him. Brian turned around and jumped as he saw Passé.

“I don’t understand? What did I do?” he asked. Passé just sighed.

“Come on, my time is up” he said, as he clicked his fingers.

Brian found himself back in bed. There were no sobbing dream Stefans, no pretend Steves, just him and his warm bed. /What a fucked up dream/ he thought to himself, then snuggled under the duvet and promptly fell back asleep.

No sooner had he shut his eyes, he awoke to a loud bang. Brian sighed and rolled over, automatically glancing at the clock. It said 3:00am. /God, I just can’t sleep properly tonight/ he thought to himself, as he went to get up and get some water. He jumped backwards as he saw Steve had just walked in his bedroom door, this time dressed quite normally. Wearing the same clothes as earlier actually.

“Oh Steve, why are you back? I was having the most fucked up dream involving you.. except you weren’t you.. it was odd..” Brian started talking before Steve could say anything.

“Brian I’ve come to show you something” he said as he moved towards the bed.

“Can’t it wait til the morning Steve?” Brian complained, but then stopped dead as he saw that this Steve was once again transparent.

“Oh fuck, not another one..” he yelled as he hopped back into bed. Steve looked confused and glided closer. He opened his mouth to speak.

“I am..”, but the smaller man interrupted him.

“Let me guess, Vodka. The spirit of way too much free spirits. Come to tell me that I’m way too pissed and have started hallucinating?” Brian guessed, huddling under his quilt again.

“Noo... I’m Nunc, the spirit of Christmas Present.” he said, rolling his eyes as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “And we’ve got to make you understand some things, so hurry up. Haven’t got all night”

Brian grumbled slightly as he reluctantly got out of his warm bed and walked over to Nunc. He held onto his arm, expecting the room to spin, but was quite surprised when everything simply blurred beyond recognition. When it focused again they were standing in Stefan’s flat. Brian walked around the living room, inspecting it. He recognised this must be the present day, because of the way it was decorated and the photo from their latest tour sitting on the shelf. There were empty bottles, food cartons, clothes and bit of paper strewn around the room. Which was very unusual for Stef the clean freak. He heard some muttering coming from the bedroom so he followed Nunc who had glided over there. When he walked in there were clothes thrown everywhere around the room, and Stef was sitting in front of his mirror, head in his hands. He had a sorrowful expression on his face and was distractedly mumbling to himself. Brian could only hear snatches of words floating through the almost inaudible speech.

“Can't find anything..... fucking rejected......why would anyone?”

Brian went to move closer, but Nunc held out an arm to stop him.

“We have to move on to the next memory now” he explained as Brian started to protest and sat down on the bed. Then the room started to blur and the bed disappeared, making Brian fall promptly on the floor.

When it focused again he found himself sitting on the floor of some public toilets. He let out a moan of disgust and quickly stood up, brushing down his jeans. They were in an end cubicle, and Nunc pushed him out of the door to come face to face with Stefan. Stefan sighed and leaned on one of the sinks, resting his head against the mirror. Brian quickly took a look around, identifying the toilet as the one at the club earlier. He jumped as simultaneously Stefan started talking to himself, and Nunc walked right through him. Nunc just sniggered mischeviously, then motioned behind Brian to turn his attention back to Stefan.

“Come on, just fucking tell him. Its not that bloody hard is it?” he said to his own reflection. It seemed it actually was quite a difficult feat, judging by the pained expression on his face. Just then someone else walked into the toilets. Stefan just sighed and walked back into the club. Brian waited for the room to blur again, but it didn’t. So he quickly ran out and followed Stef. He found himself in the middle of the crowd of people from the party. He looked around trying to find Stef but it seemed he had lost him. He was about to give up when he saw Nunc's faint glow coming from the corner of the club, so he weaved his way through the throng of people towards it.

He found himself watching his own earlier drunken form stumbling after Stef. Stef started trying to talk to him, to tell him what he wanted to say, but Brian was waving his arms around proclaiming he loved Xav. Brian shuddered at how stupid he acted when drunk, and made a mental note never to get that inebriated again. As drunk Brian cantered past into the arms of the waiting alcohol, Brian watched Stefan dejectedly look at the ground. He seemed lost, as though he didn’t know what to do with himself. Then all of a sudden as though something had clicked, he grabbed his coat and stalked out of the club. Brian turned around to look at Nunc.

“Oh fuck... I’m such a stupid drunken.. fuck” he said, as Nunc just nodded solemnly in agreement. Brian closed his eyes as the scene around them blurred, and when he opened them he was standing in Stef’s flat again. The flat was still in its previous state, possibly even worse. Except now Stef was lying on the sofa across the junk, clutching a bottle of Vodka. His eyes were red and sore, and it was obvious he had been crying. He shivered slightly as fresh tears started to roll down his face. Brian looked at the clock on the wall, it read 3:30. “So this is... now.. right now?” He asked Nunc, who nodded.

“Fuck, this is all my fault. Everything” Brian swore loudly and started towards Stefan. But Stef just rolled over and held his face in his hands. He wanted to help him, to go up to him and tell him everything would be OK, but he felt confused. Confused as to why all this concerned him. As he was thinking the room blurred for a final time. Nunc waved and Brian found himself in his own bed again.

/I’m not going to bloody sleep again/ he thought to himself determinedly, as he started to think through the memories. Supposing this was all real? What was is that had got Stef so upset? And why were the spirits showing him all this? Why not Steve? Then it hit him.

“God I’m so stupid” Brian yelled to thin air, as he slapped his forehead.

“Yes you are” Steve’s voice echoed from across the room. Brian looked up, knowing exactly what to expect. He found himself staring at Steve again, for the fourth time in the same amount of hours. Except this Steve was dressed in silver and gold, dripping in diamonds and fine jewellery. Under his arm he appeared to be carrying a platinum disc. He glided towards Brian, who this time didn’t actually shrink back.

“My name is Futura I am the..” Steve started to say.

“Spirit of Christmas Future” Brian continued for him, “Come on, I need to talk to Stef”

Futura smiled weakly at him.

“I’m afraid I have to show you the very worst before you can make your decision.” he said solemnly. Then he clapped his hands and everything was black. They stayed in darkness for a few seconds, before blinding light dazzled Brian. When his eyes readjusted he found himself looking at a wall, covered in large black writing. It looked familiar somehow.

Brian, I am sorry but I had to do this. I can’t live my life knowing that you will never feel the way I feel. I’m sorry that I leave the band behind, but I’m sure you will find someone better, someone who won’t hold you back. And I know you will both achieve great things without me getting in the way. Eternally Yours..

Brian gasped as he read it aloud, and stepped backwards, nearly tripping over the coffee table. Then he noticed the police officers and the forensics team, and the paramedics. They were standing by a stretcher that was covered by a sheet. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as he looked back at the coffee table, which was littered with pills and empty bottles. He walked over to the stretcher and tentatively touched the sheet covering it. He immediately recoiled his hand as though it had burnt him.

“Stef...” he whispered, not noticing Futura had appeared behind him. Fear burned inside him. He just wanted to be back at home in his flatand to be able to tell Stef everything would be ok. Suddenly the room went black again. When it lit up again, Brian let out a cry. They were now standing in a church that was packed full of people. Everything was quiet except the priest at the front who was conducting a solemn speech. Brian didn’t even have to listen to him to know what was going on. He managed to spot himself sitting in the first row, and would have ran down the aisle, but he walked out of some kind of respect. Brian sat down on the bench next to himself and Steve, and took a look at his future self. It couldn’t have been more than ten years later as neither of them had aged much. Brian was openly crying, clinging onto Steve’s arm. Steve was trying to keep his emotions in, but wasn’t succeeding.

“It’s my fault he’s gone Steve... If it wasn’t for me he would still be here..” Brian managed to choke out inbetween sobs. Steve couldn’t stop a large tear rolling down his cheek.

“No it’s not your fault, Don’t blame yourself..” he whispered useless words of comfort. But it made no use. They crumpled together, trying to thaw out the hurt and pain.

Brian looked up at the front of the church, next to the priest. He saw the coffin. It looked beautiful. Glossy wood surrounded by mountains of flowers.

“I can’t let this happen to him.. I can’t. Fuck” he said out loud, turning around and looking for Futura. He couldn’t see him anywhere. In desperation he ran up the aisle again, looking down the rows of benches, trying to spot the ghostly glow.

“Futura, take me back. I don’t want things this way” he cried out again, falling to the floor.

But no-one came. He lay for what seemed like hours on the cold hard stone, crying in the realisation of what was going to happen. Eventually Brian managed to crawl outside, into the harsh sunlight. He didn’t see why the world had to be so sunny, and that everything had to continue as normal when someone as wonderful as Stefan was gone. As he sat up he realised he was sitting in the graveyard of the church. He looked around him at the headstones and a chill went down his spine as he saw a name he recognised. Stefan Olsdal. Brian threw himself onto the grave as a fresh wave of grief overcame him.

“Please. I have learnt my lesson. I want to change things” he sobbed uncontrollably. A cold wind blew through the graveyard, catching a few fallen leaves as it went. Brian felt a clammy hand on his shoulder and looked up. But everything went black.

When Brian came to he was lying on the floor of his room, still fully clothed. It was dark in his room and the floor was making his back hurt. He also suspected he had a nasty hangover coming on. Brian rubbed his aching head, then sat bolt upright as he remembered what had happened. He looked around the room for any more suspicious Steve’s, and then convinced there weren’t any more he got to his feet. He wobbled slightly, but grabbed onto the bedpost to regain his balance. A glance at the clock told him it was 5 in the morning. Christmas morning.

He rushed out of his bedroom and towards the front door, not even thinking about a coat. The door slammed shut behind him, probably waking up the whole flat block, but he didn't care. He had to get to Stef.

As he walked along the cold street he couldn’t even think. His hands were going numb and he was near freezing, but determination kept him going. It started to snow, but Brian didn’t even acknowledge it. Gradually his pace slowed as he realised he had no energy left. He stopped and looked around, and it dawned on him that he had no clue where he was.

"Oh fuck, where the fuck am I?" he whispered to thin air. No-one answered. Brian shivered slightly and his breath misted up infront of his face. He frantically looked about to find someone, but he was alone. The snow started to fall more heavily now, dusting his shoulders and face with fine, cold white powder. His body spasmed with more shivers, and he hugged his arms around his body, trying to keep the warmth in. He thought of the state that Stef was probably in now, and tears slipped down his face as he realised he couldn't help. He sat down on the ground as his legs were going numb from the cold, and he pulled his knees up to his chest. The tears started to fall with an increasing pace, mirroring the snow. They warmed his face slightly as they fell, but were soon replaced by the icy chill of cold air on wet skin. He sat there for what seemed like an eternity, quietly sobbing in desperation. All of a sudden something solid and cold hit the back of his head, shattering into a thousand tiny freezing pieces. He came drifiting back to reality and looked around him, catching a faint glowing figure at the end of the road in his sight. Warmth coursed back through his body as he remember why he was here, and where he had to go.

"Get a fucking grip Bri, Stef needs you right now" Brian proclaimed to himself, as he uneasily pushed out with one of his legs. Amazingly it held his weight so he hesitantly climbed to his feet and looked around, searching for something familiar. The snow began to ease up again, and in the distance he saw a row of shops. He started trudging down the road towards the bright signs, and as he got nearer he realised that he was close to Stefan's flat. Elation poured through his veins, and gave him the strength to keep moving.

He finally reached Stefan’s front door, after walking for what seemed like hours. His whole body and mind ached from the cold. Tentatively he held up a hand to knock. As he was about to the front door opened and Stefan stood there.

“You were standing at my front door for a good few minutes Bri, are you alright? Fuck you must be freezing” he said concernedly, pulling him into the hallway. Brian looked past him to the living room and saw the empty bottles of alcohol. Then he noticed the pills scattered across the table, and pushed his way into the flat.

“Stef no, please no” he said, turning to look at him. Stefan looked away, trying to avoid his gaze.

“I’m sorry... I couldn't take it. I needed to get away from it all..” he said to the floor, so quietly it was barely a whisper.

“But why Stef... fuck we need to get you some help! Sit down, I’ll call an ambulance” Brian said quickly as he pushed him down onto the sofa and ran for the phone. He was amazed at how clearly he was thinking.

“What? I just drank a fuck load of vodka. It won’t kill me” Stef said as he got up and took the phone off Brian.

“But.. the pills?” Brian protested helplessly, looking up into his eyes.

“Oh you think I.. no god I could never! I had a fucking mega hangover coming on, but I spilt the aspirin everywhere” he explained. Brian started to laugh despite himself. Always jumping to the wrong conclusions. Stef pulled him down onto the sofa and wrapped a blanket around him.

“Here, you are freezing. But why did you come round here at 5 in the morning? Christmas morning of all times?” Stef asked curiously. Brian sighed. Now he was the one mentally preparing himself.

“I.. I came to tell you something..” he started to say, but realised words couldn’t convey how he felt. Stef looked at him expectantly, waiting for his explanation.Brian moved his hand towards Stefan’s cheek and stroked it lightly. Admiring his beauty as if for the first time. Then he captured his lips in a kiss. Pouring his heart and soul out, trying to communicate the love, passion, desire and lust he felt in one simple action. Stef hesitated at first, then let himself be enveloped. Responding as he slipped his hands around the back of Brian’s head, pulling him closer. Their bodies smoothly locked together, as if they were meant to fit together in destiny. Their mouths collided effortlessly, dancing around each other. Stef moved slightly, so he was lying down on the sofa and pulled Brian down on top of him. He eventually, rather unwillingly, broke the kiss and looked up at the beautiful creature above him. His eyes were half closed, with rings of black makeup from earlier. And his lips were glistening in the low light as he emitted a low sigh.

“I’m in love with you Stef. Its taken me far too long to realise it, and I’ve been a total arsehole. Could you ever have me?” Brian asked shyly. Stef was silent for a moment, his face full of doubt. But then he smiled slightly, as his fears melted away.

“I love you too. I always have and I always will.” Stef replied as he stroked Brian’s cheek gently, “I have always dreamed of something as perfect as this. But I thought you could never love someone like me...” he trailed off uncertainly and looked away. Brian sat up, his legs straddling Stef’s hips.

“Don’t ever think like that. You are gorgeous, beautiful, hot, and sexy, and I love you so much.” Brian protested, as he leant back in to kiss Stef, emphasising his point. Stef blushed slightly, then kissed him back fervently and pulled Brian back down towards him. He pulled him closer to his chest and wrapped the blanket around the two of them.

“I love you,” he whispered, “Happy Christmas”

Brian’s lips barely echoed the words before he slipped off to sleep, comfortably wedged between Stefan and the back of the sofa.

The End