Why

Author: Placebobitch/Evilduck

Rating:

Pairing: Bri/Unknown

Description: Yet another little thing.

Original link

I walk into the small cafe and see him there, and my whole world lights up. 2 months, it seems such a short time to become so infatuated with someone. But it’s as though my being depends on him. I move over to his table, and he looks up. I smile at him, but his gaze avoids my eyes. As though he is searching for something else. I sit down and settle myself with a kiss on his cheek.

“So how have you been?” I ask, trying to sound comforting. He mumbles his reply, so I motion to the waiter to bring us a drink. He gazes around him, looking slightly lethargic and worried.

“Are you OK?” I ask, resting my hand on his arm. He nods slightly and looks into my eyes, and I can immediately tell that everything is not OK. Those once emotion-filled pools are now empty holes. Completely devoid of life. As though everything happy and good had been sucked out of him.

“I.. I’ve just been a bit fucked up lately” he says, his voice miles away.

“In what way?” I ask, pressing the matter. It breaks my heart to see him like this. I just want to help.

“You know.. just things” he finishes, and looks away. Trying to make it clear he doesn’t want to discuss the subject further. I pull him into a hug, wrapping my arms tightly around his chest. But he doesn’t respond. It hurts to feel him so cold and distant. He pushes me back slightly as the coffee arrives, and looks almost glad to have a distraction.

We sit in silence drinking. I place my cup on the table, and look at him, trying to reveal what’s going on in his mind. He just looks at me and sighs. Placing his own cup next to mine.

“Brian...” he begins, chewing on his lip pensively, “I asked you here today to tell you something”

I nervously wait for his next words, hanging on his every breath. But instead of the words I am hoping to hear, the words I most dread fall on my ears.

“I..I don’t think this is going to work..” he continues, looking away. He can’t even stand to look at me anymore. I can feel my eyes begin to burn and I close them tightly, hoping it’s all just a bad dream. But when I open them he is still there, looking guiltily at the floor.

“Is it me?” I manage to whisper, silently begging him to look at me. But he doesn’t.

“No, not you. It’s me” he says. Fucking typical excuse. I sniff in response.

“I.. I’m just too fucked up right now. I don’t want it to affect you. You are a lovely, sweet, kind and caring person. Who anyone but me deserves to be with. I don’t want to inflict my pain on you.” he continues, but I don’t really hear.

“Things probably would have been better if you hadn’t met me..” he finishes, as he slowly gets up and walks away. And I don’t even stop him. I just sit in my horrible cheap plastic chair, and let the love of my life walk out of the door.

And so it ended, just like many others. In a dingy little cafe with me crying my heart out. Alone, cold and worthless.