Author: Placebobitch/Evilduck
Rating:
Pairing: Bri/OC (Other Character)
Description: A massive WIP about Brian running off to France, only to meet the guy of his dreams.
Original link
Chapter 1:
Thursday 10th March
Steve hit the final beat on his drums and looked expectantly at Brian. They had been in the recording studios for nearly 3 weeks now, and were just finishing up on one of their first tracks.
“Well you were a bit off towards the end. I think you could do it better..” Brian answered, not looking up from his cigarette and coffee. Stef saw a nerve twitch just above Steve’s eye, as he slowly stood up from the drums glaring at the petite singer.
“A bit fucking off? That was the fucking 20th time I’ve recorded it today. And you want me to do it again?!” he yelled, clenching his drumsticks tightly in his fists. Brian glanced up, his facial expression staying blank, and nodded.
“One more take should do it” he said, and then looked back down at the magazine he was holding.
“There will not fucking be one more take! That was perfect, take it or fucking leave it!” Steve yelled, as he threw his drumsticks at the wall.
“Steve, why are you being so unreasonable?” Brian asked, his calm tone slightly swaying in the build up to conflict.
“No, I’m not being unreasonable. You are. Taking it out on us just because you can’t fucking get your lyrics right” Steve shouted, barely centimetres away from Brian’s face.
“My fucking lyrics? No Steve this is about your shite drumming!” Brian jumped to his feet and yelled back, trying to make his diminutive stature seem threatening.
“Oh so its shite drumming now is it? Earlier it was only below average drumming!” Steve retorted quickly, as Stef sat back and watched a weeks worth of tension explode.
“Oh piss off Hewitt” Brian screamed, his eyes now starting to water. Steve turned quickly on his heel and stomped out of the room. The worried looking technician scurried out after him. Brian collapsed on the battered old sofa in the corner and put his head in his hands, so Stef got up and went to sit next to him.
“He’s right you know” Brian sobbed quietly, as Stef put a comforting arm around his shoulders. “It is about me. I don’t know. I just haven’t been able to get back into the whole creative process. Everything I come up with seems to be shit”
“Maybe you just need to take a little break? Re-arrange your head?” Stef suggested, as he gave him a gentle squeeze.
“Really?” Brian asked, bringing his head out of his arms.
“Yeh, I’ll talk to Rob, let you have a few days off” Stef reassured him quietly. Brian smiled weakly up at him, his green eyes shining through tears. He stood up and found his coat as Stef went to find their producer.
He was waiting in the reception for Stef when Brian suddenly heard yelling and shouting coming from the room behind him. He listened carefully and could tell it was Steve’s voice.
“YOU WHAT? We’re behind as it is, we don’t need him having days off complaining of writers block” he yelled. Stef was obviously trying to reason with him, but Brian didn’t hang around to listen. He stormed out of the building, and towards the street pavement. He shivered slightly due to rage and cold, and threw his coat around his shoulders as he hailed a cab home.
Once back in the safety of his flat, and with a hot coffee to hand, Brian could see he had been unreasonable to Steve. He hadn’t meant to snap at him, but his anger at not being able to write had made him take it all out on someone. Stef was right he did need a break. A little time to himself to clear his mind, and to sort out his writing. He stared down at the open notepad in front of him.
Everything around me
You kick out screaming
Exacerbate the pain in my heart
A fucked up whirlwind of liesGod he needed to come up with something better than this. Maybe more than a few days were needed. So he decided to take a well deserved (in his opinion anyway) holiday. Fuck Steve, fuck the producer, they could wait for him.
Later that day and Brian was busy in his room, packing any clothes he could find into a large suitcase. Just as he was trying to stuff some more shirts in, his mobile phone rang. He picked it up on instinct and looked at the caller. The blue screen announced that it was Stef, so after a few seconds hesitation he cancelled it. Brian then decided it would be better if he switched his mobile off, and set off round his flat gathering up essentials.
It didn’t take him long to pack, so pretty soon he was huffing and puffing trying to get the suitcase down the stairs. He inwardly cursed his smoking addiction, and made up his mind to try and quit once he got to his destination. Brian managed to get the case into the back of the cab with some help from the cab driver, and gratefully collapsed on the back seat as they headed off towards the airport. He slipped his sunglasses over his nose, and stared out of the window at the bland English countryside. Soon he would be away from it all, for however long it took to get him back in the right frame of mind.
“The plane is about to start its descent. Could you please fasten your seatbelts and fold away your passenger tables” The loud voice over the speakers awoke Brian from his light sleep with a jolt. He grudgingly fastened his seatbelt, and then looked around the cabin. He was amazed he had been able to get a flight at such late notice. But then again it had cost a ridiculous amount. He felt the familiar feeling in his stomach as they started to drop in altitude, and then let his mind wander back to Stef and Steve. He briefly wondered how they were but then reminded himself he was on holiday to forget them.
“I’ll call Stef once I’ve landed” Brian muttered under his breath. The man sitting next to him started to look at him very oddly.
As Brian watched the suitcases go round the escalator, filled with a mix of curiosity and dread that his case wouldn’t be there, he totally forgot about phoning Stef. His was one of the last cases to come around, so he quickly hauled it onto a nearby trolley and set off towards the exit of the airport. He managed to find a cab fairly quickly, and stood and watched as the poor short man heaved his case into the boot.
“Laitue Bécote, S’il vous plait” he asked as he slipped into the back, his American drawl now with a slight hint of a French accent.
“Oui Monsieur” the cab driver replied, as he drove off. They were heading towards one of Brian’s favourite places in France. A tiny little village that he had discovered last year on one of their tours, and fallen in love with. He had decided it was perfect for getting away from the stress of everything.
Just as Brian was admiring the scenic views, quite a contrast from England, his mobile phone started to ring in his pocket. He pulled it out and answered it without looking to see who it was.
“Brian?” Stef’s confused voice sounded down the phone, “Where are you?”
“Umm” Brian wondered what to tell him.
“Because if you’re at home, open the door. I’ve been trying to get in for ages.” Stefan continued.
“No. I’m not at home” Brian replied.
“Well where the hell are you? I’ve been worried ever since you ran out of the studios” he said, indeed sounding quite worried.
“Erm.. I’m in France” Brian said, not wanting to make the situation worse by lying.
“What? Why?” Stefan replied quickly, his voice raising at least 2 octaves.
“I just needed to take a break, like you said. Have some time to clear my mind” Brian said, trying to calm Stef down, reassure him he hadn’t been kidnapped or something stupid.
“I know I said that, but I meant a few days in England! When are you coming back? We need to finish the album!” Stefan said, the panic rising in his voice.
“I don’t know Stef. When I’m ready. I just need to be on my own for a while. I’ll call you sometime soon. Love You” Brian said quietly, then he ended the call. He took a deep breath and turned his mobile phone off, turning to look out the window instead.
After what seemed like hours of driving, Brian finally saw a small cluster of buildings emerging from the fields in front of him. The cab driver slowed down as he got near to the town. Brian breathed a sigh of relief. It looked just as he remembered it, with its quaint old stone buildings and rural people.
(Of course all the dialect from now on is meant to be French, but I cannot read or write French fluently, as neither can most of you I suppose! So I will just write it in English.)
“Where do you want me to drop you off?” The cab driver asked. Brian stopped and thought for a moment. He hadn’t really considered where he was going to stay.
“Is there some sort of guesthouse nearby?” he asked.
“Yes, there is only one in the village. Shall I take you there?” the cab driver replied. Brian nodded in response and looked curiously out the window at Laitue Bécote’s amenities.
They came to a stop outside a large, slightly run-down building. Brian hoped this wasn’t the place, so he stayed where he was, waiting for the driver to pull away again. But instead the cab driver got out and started trying to heave the heavy suitcase out of the boot. Brian sighed, reluctantly opened the door and got out. The cab driver dropped the bag by the door and looked at Brian expectantly.
“50 Euros please” he said.
“50?!” Brian replied in shock, and fished around in his back pocket for his wallet. He handed a few notes over to the driver and turned back to survey the guesthouse. A rusty old signpost with a decaying sign hung above the door.
“L’Auberge Plaisante” Brain read aloud as he picked up his case. It looked far from pleasant, but it was the best the village had to offer apparently.
He pushed open the door and walked cautiously into what he supposed to be the lobby. There was no one around so he rung the little bell on the desk and waited. There was no sign of anyone for a good few minutes, so Brian dropped his case to the floor and looked around him. There were a few mouldy old paintings on the walls, and a large burnt out brick fireplace that looked as though it hadn’t been used in years. Suddenly someone came flying down the stairs with such a thud, that Brian nearly jumped out of his skin. A man landed at the bottom, and stood up quickly as to avoid the person that was following him. He was a slightly overweight man, wearing rather tattered clothes and with a ruddy flush to his cheeks.
“Please Marguerite, I’ll have the money for you tomorrow. You know I will!” he yelled upstairs. Someone who Brian assumed was Marguerite followed him quickly down the stairs.
“Oh yes I suppose you will sell off some stolen goods again Claude? It’s not good enough! Get out!” she yelled back, as she grabbed a broom and started hitting the poor man round the head. He tried in vain to protest whilst being simultaneously hit with a broom handle and shoved out of the front door. Marguerite slammed the door on him, and turned around to face Brian, a large smile across her face.
“Yes, how can I help you?” she beamed, as though nothing had just happened. Brian just stared astonishedly at her.
“Umm, I need a room. Are you the owner?” he asked when he finally managed to get his tongue back.
“Yes, but I’m afraid we have no more rooms” she replied quickly, looking out the window to check that Claude had gone.
“But, you just threw someone out? Surely his room is free now?” Brian asked hopefully.
“Oh Claude? No he’ll be back. And I’ll let him back like the fool I am..” Marguerite answered as she moved over to the desk and starting tidying it.
“Please. I need somewhere to stay, and this is the only guesthouse in Laitue Bécote. I’ll pay whatever you want” Brian pleaded. Marguerite stopped her cleaning and turned around to face him.
“Well.. we could use some extra money. Goodness knows the regular tenants try to dodge paying the rent..” she said as she looked down at Brian’s hopeful face.
“Oh OK. You can stay in Luc’s room. He’s away at university anyway. So long as you pay some rent upfront” she reasoned.
“Yes of course. Thank you so much” he nodded and replied. Marguerite beamed at him.
“Ok, I’ll show you to your room”
As Marguerite led him up the narrow winding staircase, Brian tried to see into the other rooms. But all the tenants seemed to be out and their doors closed. Just as he was getting tired of climbing stairs, Marguerite stepped onto a landing and waited outside one of the doors. Brian looked at the door expectantly as she fumbled in her pocket for the keys and unlocked it. He walked in and looked around, it was nice. There was an old oak bed in one corner of the room, with a small bedside table and a chest of drawers. On the other side was a roomy wardrobe, and a doorway that Brian supposed led to his bathroom. He set his suitcase down on the bed and looked round the doorframe. There was an old, slightly rusty shower fitting in one corner, with a toilet and a sink. Brian noted with some distaste that there was no mirror, but luckily he had brought a travel one with him.
Marguerite’s loud voice behind him made him jump suddenly.
“Well I’ll leave you to get settled in. Come and talk to me about rent a bit later, I’ll be downstairs in the reception” she said then left the room, leaving Brian on his own. He sat on the bed, which creaked slightly, and looked out of the window. It was a pleasant view, with the top of the village church just in sight in front of the fields. He did a quick check of his room, looking for suspicious damp patches or mould, but was quite satisfied when he found none. Then he started to unpack, arranging all his clothes neatly in the wardrobe and drawers and setting his personal items around the room. By the time he had finished it looked passable, and a loud rumble of his stomach reminded Brian that he was hungry.
So he grabbed some money and his notebook and pen, and set off downstairs to look for Marguerite.
On his way down there was no one to be seen, but Brian didn’t really give it much thought. He found Marguerite face down on the desk, apparently fast asleep.
“Umm.. are you awake?” He asked carefully, before prodding her in the arm.
“You shot him!” she yelled, as her head jerked off the table. Brian jumped back in surprise. Her hazy eyes slowly focused on the figure standing in front of her.
“Oh heh, sorry. I must have *yawn* dozed off for a bit. How can I help?” she asked sleepily.
“Um.. you wanted to talk about rent?” Brian asked tentatively, wondering if she had forgotten who he was.
“Why of course! Rent! Well it’s 20 euros per night, but I will require a weeks upfront.” She said, her eyes lighting up at the mention of some money.
“Yes that’s fine. I don’t know how long I will be staying though” he replied as he counted out some notes.
“Most of the people that stay here don’t leave for quite a while, I wouldn’t worry about it” Marguerite said as she accepted the money. “Breakfast is served at 9 in the breakfast room.” She motioned towards a doorway by the stairs that Brian hadn’t noticed before.
“Ok, well I’m off now, going to have a look around the village” he said as he started towards the door. Marguerite merely nodded in response and within seconds had fallen asleep on the desk again.
Brian sighed as he walked out onto the street, and nearly collided with Claude.
“Is she asleep yet?” he asked, gesturing in the general direction of Marguerite.
“Uhm, yeh..” Brian replied, looking at the man curiously as he scurried back into the guesthouse. Brian just laughed a little to himself and continued walking up the road until he found a small café.
He walked through the doorway, and again walked into someone. He looked up to find himself staring into the face of a tall young man, with dark impeccable features and steel grey eyes. The man, however, was scowling back down at him.
“Watch out! Stupid foreign twats” he said hastily, as his friend stopped to turn around.
“Come on Nicolas, we are going to be late. Leave him” he reasoned. Brian held his stare, and finally the man backed down and followed his friend out of the café.
“Nice locals..” Brian muttered to himself as he found a seat at the front of the room.
“Oh don’t mind Nicolas. He’s always in a bad mood” came a voice from beside him. Brian swivelled in his chair to see a young waiter standing next to him.
“What can I get you?” he asked politely, smiling shyly to expose his white teeth.
“Umm, just a coffee for the moment will be fine” Brian decided, and watched the waiter as he walked back towards the kitchen. He looked cute, with soft blue eyes and dark short hair. Brian made up his mind to find out more about him. He casually leant back on his chair and lit a cigarette, totally forgetting his decision to quit. The inviting smell of bread and coffee invaded his nostrils, and he lounged quite happily for a while, just gazing out of the window. He started thinking of some lyrics, after all that’s why he was on holiday. But thinking about lyrics made him think about Stef and Steve, and he realised how much he missed them already. So he focused his concentration on a very interesting sheep in the field to his far left.
He was awoken from his musings by a soft coughing and a hot cup of coffee being placed on his table. Just as the waiter was about to walk away, Brian held out his hand to stop him.
“No, stay and chat with me for a while? You aren’t really busy, and I could do with some company” he asked politely, flashing what he thought was his most charming smile. It wasn’t really true, he wanted to find out more about this lovely creature, but he wasn’t about to admit that. The waiter seemed to hesitate for a moment as he looked around the café for his boss, but there was no one to be seen, so he sat down next to Brian. Brian smiled jovially and held out his hand.
“I’m Brian.” He said as they shook hands.
“Benjamin, Ben for short.” The waiter replied.
“Not a very French name? Where were you born?” Brian asked, striking up a conversation.
“In this village. But my mother wasn’t French she was English. So I suppose she preferred an English name to anything else. You speak French very well for a foreigner?” Ben replied, seemingly quite happy to talk.
“Well I was born in Belgium and I grew up in Luxembourg, hence the French. But my father was American, which is where I suppose I get the accent from.” Brian said, leaning across the table to pick up his coffee. Ben nodded and was silent for a moment, pondering what to say next.
“And what brings you to Laitue Bécote? You don’t seem like our usual kind of tourist. Plus it’s a bit out of season” He asked, remembering the normal crude English families he had to put up with in the summer.
“Well I had a bit of creative tension at work, I couldn’t write properly. So I came here to kind of clear my head and get some inspiration.” Brian confessed, sipping at his coffee.
“What do you do for work?” Ben asked curiously, leaning towards him slightly. Brian opened his mouth to say ‘Musician’ but something stopped him. For some reason instead he replied “Writer. Like poems and prose. That kind of thing.”
“Wow, that sounds interesting. I wish I could be doing something with my life, instead of being stuck here” Ben said, with a slight hint of sadness to his voice.
“Do you live alone then?” Brian asked, trying to find out if he was in a relationship or anything.
“Yeh” Ben sighed, “I used to live with my mother.. but she was a strict church goer, and in the end I suppose I didn’t agree with her beliefs. So I left..” His voice trailed off, and he looked slightly embarrassed at having revealed so much about himself. Brian sensed his uncomfortable silence, and started talking about his own religion mad mother to take the focus away from Ben. Ben looked slightly relieved and listened intently to Brian’s tales of growing up in Luxembourg.
They were still chatting amiably an hour later, when Ben happened to glance at his watch.
“Crap. I hate to throw you out, but its 15 minutes past closing time” he said, standing up and collecting the coffee cups.
“Nah that’s Ok, I’ll probably see you tomorrow yeah?” Brian replied as he headed towards the door.
“Sure, tomorrow” Ben said, as a faint smile played across his lips and he wandered out back to the kitchen. Brian couldn’t help but find himself grinning as he walked out of the café and down the street.
Brian walked down the road for a bit, just happy with his own thoughts until his stomach growling made him realise he was incredibly hungry. He hoped that Marguerite served some kind of food at the guesthouse and set off towards it.
When he walked in the front door everywhere appeared to be deserted. Brian heard some noise coming from one of the adjacent rooms so he cautiously walked over and pushed the door open. He was greeted by the sight of Claude and Marguerite dancing arm in arm on top of a wooden table, with a crowd of people watching. There was some music playing on an ancient stereo in the corner, and everyone seemed to have a drink in their hand.
As the song ended Marguerite almost fell of the table, and caught sight of Brian. She started smiling as she waltzed over to him.
“Brian! We’re having a little party for one of my nieces’ birthdays! You’re welcome to join us!” She exclaimed loudly. Brian smiled; she had certainly had a few too many drinks.
“Sure. But I was just wondering if you have anything to eat? I just realised I haven’t eaten all day” He asked.
“Oh dear, we don’t really have anything in the kitchen, just the cake and some bread. My niece is a baker you see. Lovely girl really..” Marguerite started to drift off the conversation so Brian quickly thanked her and headed off in search of the kitchen. He soon found it in one of the doors off the room and started hunting for bread. He eventually found it curiously stashed between the bin and the cupboard, and put a few slices in the toaster. Someone entering the room interrupted Brian from his thoughts, so he looked over to see a young woman standing in the doorway. She was quite short, with wavy chestnut hair and eyes that were a strange mix of green and grey. She looked a bit harassed by the commotion apparently taking place in the other room.
“Hope you don’t mind. My aunt has gone a bit nuts… I just needed some quiet!” she explained, sitting herself on the counter top and clutching a glass of wine.
“No that’s fine, I was just making some toast. Is Marguerite your aunt?” Brian asked curiously, leaning himself against the opposite counter.
“Yeah.. She gets a bit.. you know.. when she’s had some drink” She laughed slightly.
“Yes I’ve noticed,” Brian smiled, “So that would make it your birthday then?” The girl nodded in acknowledgment as she drank some more wine.
“Well happy birthday then..” Brian trailed off, apparently waiting for a name.
“Clémantine” the girl finished for him.
“Clémantine,” Brian echoed. “I’m Brian Molko” he said as he held out his hand. Clémantine reached across and shook it, before gesturing to the toaster.
“I think your toast is burning Mr Molko” she said and laughed slightly as she watched Brian try to salvage the remains of the toast.
The pair started talking, probably helped by the flowing wine. They discussed anything from Clémantine’s childhood to Brian’s view on MooMins. Pretty soon Brian found himself being able to talk easily to this friendly outspoken girl. They moved back into the main room after a lot of the guests had either fallen asleep or gone home, and continued their chat on a pair of armchairs by the fireplace. Eventually Brian found the conversation turn to his afternoon spent in the café.
“So you met Ben then?” Clémantine asked curiously, topping up their wine glasses and nearly spilling it on the carpet.
“Oh yes!” Brian replied, winking cheekily, “I was talking to him all afternoon! He’s loverly” Clémantine started giggling uncontrollably.
“Yeh he’s really nice. In fact I should be meeting him tomorrow for lunch” she said with some difficulty.
“Oh are you friends then?” Brian asked leaning towards her.
“Yeaaaah, we’ve known each other since we were children” She replied airily, leaning forward and grinning as if to challenge Brian.
“Oh good, I thought you were going to be my love rival then!” Brian admitted, collapsing into giggles. Clémantine couldn’t help but get caught up in his infectious laugh.
“So are you admitting you are thinking of a relationship type thingy here?” She probed the matter further. Brian raised an eyebrow.
“Maybe….. I bet he’s a good fuck though!” he concluded and Clémantine laughed so much that wine came out of her nose and she nearly fell backwards off her chair. Brian stretched out an arm just in time to save her.
“Easy! I think maybes we had better be getting you to bed” He said, as he shakily got to his feet and pulled Clémantine up with him.
“Are you trying to hint that I’m pissed?” She asked, slumping against him as he tried to drag her out of the door.
“Why yes my dear, now where are you sleeping?” Brian enquired, as she pointed in the vague direction of a room on the first floor. They managed to stumble their way up the stairs, and Brian made sure that Clémantine had gotten safely into her room before he attempted to tackle the 3 odd flights of stairs he had to climb. Somehow he made his way to the safety of his own room, and collapsed fully clothed onto the bed.
Chapter 2:
Friday 11th March
Brian awoke to a splitting headache, vague memories of spilling wine, and the blinding sunlight penetrating his eyelids. He rolled over with a groan and pulled the duvet over his head, trying to block out the harsh light. He dozed contently for a further few minutes until a loud knocking awakened him to reality.
“Monsieur Molko? If you want me to clean your room you had better not still be in bed when I come back in half an hour.” A vaguely familiar voice sounded from somewhere to his left.
Brian sat up straight in bed, rubbing his eyes and trying to remember where he was. Slowly the hazy memories of yesterday, the storming out of band practice and apparently into another country, came back to him. He turned his head quickly to look at the clock, and immediately regretted it, holding his aching head in his hands. He tried again, this time slower, and saw it was half eleven.
“Shit” he said out loud to no one in particular. Clémantine was meeting Ben for lunch in half an hour, and he really wanted to talk to them both.
Brian gingerly got to his feet and shuffled over to the chest of drawers, where after a bit of rummaging he managed to find a handy pack of aspirin. He swallowed two, and looked around the room. How he had managed to get it into such a mess, he would never know. There were quite a few items of clothing strewn across the floor accompanied by numerous empty glasses, a bottle of wine and curiously a half eaten piece of toast. He gathered up the clothes and shoved them into the bottom of his wardrobe, then tried to remember where the shower was. It took him quite a while to find it, considering there were only two doors leading off his bedroom, and one of them led outside.
Once he was clean and refreshed, with some decent clothes and a hint of eyeliner and foundation, Brian was beginning to feel slightly better. He even felt up to braving the natural light outside, so he grabbed a jacket and wandered out of the door. For once he saw some other guests pottering around downstairs near the kitchen, possibly looking as hung over as he felt. It satisfied him to know others felt as rough this morning, and he wondered to himself how Clémantine must feel after the amazing amount of wine she consumed.
Brian meandered along the road towards the café, gradually becoming accustomed to the morning sunlight. He eventually caught sight of the familiar shop front and unconsciously quickened his pace. He smiled slightly as he saw Clémantine and Ben sitting at the same table at the front of the café. He shuffled inside the door and slumped down on one the chairs. Clémantine started laughing at him.
“God you look like shit!” she smiled.
“Why thank you. I feel it too. Why are you so happy? I’m sure you drank more than me?” Brian groaned in reply. Everyone’s voices were slightly too loud for his liking. Maybe he needed to lie down in a quiet dark room to recover.
“Well you see Clémantine is blessed in the fact that she doesn’t suffer from the morning after effects of alcohol.” Ben replied, and couldn’t help but smile at the tired grumpy Brian sat in front of him. Brian simply rolled his eyes in reply.
“Can I get you a coffee then? You look like you need one!” Ben asked, getting to his feet. Brian nodded at him, putting on a rather pathetic face. He watched, captivated, as Ben walked towards the kitchen, interested in something other than the nice apron he was wearing..
Clémantine waved her hand in front of his face.
“Oy! I can see you perving!” she said and grinning cheekily at him. Brian smiled slightly.
“I’m allowed to perve. I’m ill you see” he replied.
“Oh and I suppose you need a hot boy to look after you and make you coffee?” She asked, starting to grin manically.
“Oh yes.. and I think I have someone in mind!” Brian replied and winked, as Ben came back over with two coffees and some kind of sandwich thing.
“Two coffees and one bacon sandwich” he announced as he set the cups and plates on the table, and settled himself back down. Brian screwed up his nose in disgust.
“I can’t believe you are eating disgusting fried crap in front of me when I’m poorly” he moaned, as Clémantine bit into her sandwich.
“Awww youwl geft offer iyt” she replied with a full mouth. Ben simply smiled at the antics of the two with him. Brian lit up a fag and leaned comfortably back on his chair.
“Sooo, why weren’t we graced by your presence last night Ben?” he asked. Ben blushed slightly.
“Well to tell you the truth, Marguerite doesn’t like me very much..” he replied and grinned sheepishly.
“Aww how could anyone not like you?” Brian said, deciding to play up the flirting a bit.
“Well..er.. lets just say there was an incident.. and we haven’t really been on the best of terms since” Ben replied, still blushing slightly.
“Shame, we could have had some fun” Brian said, and winked.
“I’m sure we could have” Ben said, and Brian could have swore his eyes flashed slightly.
/Is he flirting with me?/ He wondered to himself.
“Well at least I have you to make me coffee and save me from my evil hangover!” Brian joked aloud, and Clémantine laughed through her sandwich. Ben faked annoyance, and crossed his arms over his chest, exhaling loudly.
“Is that all I’m good for? Making coffee?” He demanded, his eyes twinkling. Brian leant forward and smiled.
“I’m sure you have your uses” He said in a slightly lower voice and looked up at Ben. To Brian’s satisfaction he didn’t look shocked or upset, in fact he was smiling in a way that indicated he DID have his uses.
/OK he’s definitely flirting. Or maybe he’s being nice? Oh I don’t know/ Brian thought to himself, having a mental conflict whilst still looking intently at Ben.
Clémantine cut the silence with her clear French accent.
“Weeell I had better be getting back to work. It’s nice to see you two getting along so well” she smiled as she got to her feet. She wandered over to Ben and planted a kiss on each cheek, before walking out of the door and waving at them both.
Ben sighed and got up.
“I had better be doing some work as well. I don’t get paid to do nothing” he said.
“Yeh I’m off for a while too, I need to get some writing done” Brian said, as he stood up and got his jacket.
“What time do you close tonight?” he asked as an afterthought.
“Six, why?” Ben replied curiously as Brian headed for the door.
“I’ll be back” he laughed, and waved at him. But instead of walking back towards the guesthouse to get his notebook, he walked in the direction of the bakery. He wanted to have a little girly chat with Clémantine first.
Brian walked down the street until he came to what he supposed to be the bakery. Well seeing as it had a big “Boulangerie” sign over the door and there was bread in the window, it was safe to say this was the place.
The door tinkled as he walked in, and Clémantine looked over from her position behind the counter.
“Ahh I wonder what you have come here for” she said, smiling to herself. Brian leant on the counter and looked at her apprehensively.
“So..” he started, apparently waiting for her to start talking.
“So what?” she replied, feigning ignorance. Brian huffed impatiently.
“Ben! What did he say about me?” he blurted out eagerly. Clémantine grinned at him.
“That’s rather vain of you to presume he said anything” she replied, playing up to his frustration at his lack of information.
“Well did he?” Brian replied quickly.
“Of course he did!” she said, turning around to extract some bread from the oven, delighting in making him wait longer. Once she had set down the tray carefully, and made sure the hot edges were no-where near anything flammable she turned back to face Brian. He looked as though he was about to burst with anticipation.
“And?” he said, his facial muscles twisted in concentration as he tried to appear calm. It didn’t work.
“He thinks you’re cute” Clémantine replied simply. Brian’s face broke into a huge smile.
“And he said he wants to get to know you better” she continued.
“That’s great! I was planning on asking him out somewhere tonight,” Brian replied, “but I don’t know any good places to go. I was hoping you could help with that?” Clémantine nodded and thought for a while.
“There’s a good club in the town, about 20 minutes away from here. Its called Le Trou. I’ve been there a few times, its good.” She said.
“That sounds great. Thanks!” Brian replied, still smiling.
“That’s alright, just be sure to fill me in on the details!” Clémantine said, winking as Brian left the shop.
Brian was in such a good mood that he decided he surely must be able to attempt some lyrics. So he quickly went back to the guesthouse to retrieve his notebook and a pen, and as an afterthought he picked up his mobile.
He walked for a while along a path that led right through the village and into the surrounding fields. After a bit he came to a stop and settled himself under a tree to shade his still hung over head from the harsh sunlight. It felt like something out of an old story as he looked around him. The rural views were stunning, and the scenery was breathtaking. He started to write, just playing around with words at first, and then developing sentences and phrases. After a good hour he felt he had the beginnings of a promising song starting to take shape.
Brian stopped writing and leant back against the tree trunk. He could stay here forever, just resting in the peaceful tranquillity. And his writing had all of a sudden gained a spurt of inspiration. The rest was definitely doing his mind some good.
He glanced down at his mobile, which was sitting beside him on the grass. The background picture of his two band mates made him long to hear their voices, so he picked it up and dialled Stef’s number. He waited hesitantly as the phone connected and rang, and then he heard a familiar voice.
“Hello?” Stef said, sounding sleepy.
“Hey Stef its me” Brian replied.
“Oh Bri, hey, how are you?” Stef said, as he recognised his voice.
“Yeh I’m doing good. I’ve been doing some writing, its going well” Brian said, clearly sounding happier than when he had spoken to Stef previously.
“That’s great. So do you think you will be coming back soon?” Stef asked tentatively. Brian paused for a moment. He hadn’t given a thought to going back yet.
“Uhm.. well I figure I’ll be here for at least a week. I need to stay here for a while, you know, its doing me good” Brian replied finally. He heard Stef sigh slightly on the other end.
“Ok, as long as you come back! We still need our singer!” Stef joked half-heartedly.
“Don’t worry I shall. The way these lyrics are going I’ll be itching to come back and record them in no time” Brian re-assured him.
They spoke for about half an hour, just talking about general things that had happened. Steve and Stef had tried doing something in the studio that day, but decided they couldn’t really progress without their singer. So they had made the decision to wait until Brian got back to go into the studio. Stef had apparently been so bored he had considered either getting a goldfish or becoming a chat show host. Steve had gone out and got pissed, in true Steve-style. Brian for some reason found himself hesitant to mention Clémantine or Ben though. He wasn’t sure why but it just didn’t feel right telling Stef about his new found friends.
Brian looked at his watch just as Stef was describing the finer points of daytime television, and he discovered it was nearly half past five.
“Sorry Stef, but I have to go. Err dinner is served soon, and I need to get back” he lied quickly, cutting Stef’s story short.
“Ok, have fun. And be sure to call sometime soon. Bye” Stef replied.
“Bye” Brian said, then hung up the phone. He put it in his pocket and grabbed his notebook and pen, then stood up. On the way back down into the village he read over what he had written.
I can’t be alone, so don’t you dare leave me
It’s like coming home to skin that has died.Satisfied with his progress, he put his notebook into his pocket and continued down the path towards the town, and most importantly towards the café.
When Brian finally reached the now familiar door, he pushed it open with shaking hands. He couldn’t believe he was actually nervous, in fact he couldn’t even remember the last time he had been nervous about asking someone out. There was no-one to be seen inside so Brian walked towards the counter and tried to look out the back. He heard some muffled sounds coming from the kitchen, and thought he recognised Ben’s voice.
After a few minutes Ben appeared from the kitchen looking quite worried, as he placed his mobile phone into the pocket of his jeans. He saw Brian standing there and tried to replace his concerned expression with a smile.
“Ahh so the writer returns” he said. Brian smiled back at him.
“It seems so. Are you ok? You looked quite worried” he asked. Ben frowned slightly as he took off his apron.
“Yeh I’m fine. I was just talking to my mother.” He quickly answered. Brian didn’t seem too convinced.
“Did you get much writing done anyway?” Ben asked, seemingly keen to change the subject.
“Yeh I did in fact. I have something quite good coming along. I think maybe you are doing my writing skills some good!” Brian replied, smiling at the last part. Ben seemed pleased and blushed slightly.
“Me? Are you sure its not the beautiful location and peaceful settings?” he laughed.
“Well that too, but really you are helping! Like my own private muse!”, Brian replied, “Actually I was wondering if you would like to come out with me sometime?” He glanced at Ben’s face quickly, waiting for a reaction. He didn’t have to wait long, as Ben pretty much started smiling instantly.
“Sure I’d love that, I’m free tomorrow?” he hinted casually.
“Tomorrow it is then. If you drop by the guest house at about 9, all will be revealed!” Brian said, starting to go towards the door. He was stopped by Ben’s hand.
“Are you going back now? Because my house is just past there, I’ll walk with you.” He asked nervously, staring into Brian’s eyes.
“Yeh that would be nice” Brian replied.
“Ok, give me a minute, I just need to get my stuff”
Brian stood looking around the café. He still felt nervous at the prospect of a whole evening in Ben’s company. What if he said something stupid? Or got drunk and made a twat of himself? He tortured himself with these thoughts for a few more minutes until Ben reappeared by his side. They both walked out of the café in silent contentment, trying to think of something to say. Brian decided that the moment was too perfect for him to interrupt it with pointless banter, so he continued to walk with the warm evening air and the sun setting behind some distant buildings.
“So where are you taking me tomorrow?” Ben asked, finally breaking the silence.
“Ahh it’s a secret” Brian replied, tapping his nose mysteriously and grinning cheekily. Ben pouted slightly. His lips curved perfectly and his eyes twinkled, and it was all Brian could do to stop himself ravaging him right there.
“Hmm, I bet you told Clémantine..” Ben said, thinking.
“You dare ask her!” Brian threatened jokingly.
“Or else what?!” Ben challenged, turning to face him. Brian stopped and looked up at him. He was probably nearly 6 foot, and built a lot better than himself, so he had no chance trying to beat him. Instead Brian went for his ribs, tickling mercilessly. Ben almost doubled over, trying to squirm away from the smaller mans’ prying hands.
“Or else this!” Brian giggled, continuing his attack.
“Noooooooooo get off! Aaahhhhh” Ben attempted to pant in between laughing. He eventually managed to grab Brian’s hands and stop him. They both paused and looked at each other, whilst trying to catch their breath. Brian was standing in front of Ben, impossibly close and with his hands being grasped tightly. He absentmindedly ran his thumb over Ben’s hand, and thought he saw something flicker across his face. Doubt, or maybe apprehension, he wasn’t sure. Then Ben’s eyes flicked up and glanced behind Brian. He dropped his hands and put his own into the pockets of his jeans.
“We’re at the guest house” he said, gesturing towards the building.
“Oh I didn’t even notice” Brian said, stepping backwards towards the front door.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“Yep, 9pm. I won’t be in work, it’s a Saturday and that’s my day off. I can finally get some sleep!” Ben replied brightly. He waved as he turned and walked up the street.
“Bye” Brian said, and watched him walk into the distance.
That evening Brian lay on his bed thinking. It wasn’t even 9, but he was absolutely knackered. He supposed it was the combination of fresh air and the previous nights entertainment that had tired him. As he rested, listening to the gentle night sounds, his thoughts were occupied by Ben. It seemed there must be something special about him, as he couldn’t take his mind off him. Brian also wondered what had driven him to lie about his profession. Usually he didn’t really care what other people thought, but for some reason he found he didn’t want Ben to find out about his rock persona. The image that he created while he was on stage and in front of the media. The person that was totally different from his actual self. It was the person that Brian had always dreamed of becoming when he was young, someone who was cocky, confident, ambiguous and didn’t give a fuck. But that had ironically become the person he had grown to hate. And as he lay there thinking he realised he wanted Ben to like him the way he was. As Brian, the writer who had creative block and needed some peace and quiet. Not the selfish rock star brat that many people assumed he was.
It also occurred to Brian while he was thinking, that maybe he escaped to France to try and find himself. He had been a bit down recently where everyone else seemed to be settling down. Steve had a girlfriend of 2 years and his daughter, and even Stef had managed to hold onto his latest boy for a good year. It had made Brian feel very lonely, and he suspected that it was his subconscious longing for contact that had drawn him to Ben.
A cold draught of wind interrupted his trail of thought, so he quickly got up and closed the window. He climbed back onto the bed and drew the covers up close around his body.
“Damn fresh air must have gone to my head. I’m thinking way too much for my own good” Brian mused quietly to the empty room. And with that he soon fell comfortably asleep.
Chapter 3:
Saturday 12th March
Brian awoke with a start. A loud screeching noise filled his ears and he groped wildly around on the bedside table for an alarm clock. When he realised he couldn’t find one, he slowly pried open his eyes and looked around the room. It was empty. And yet the infuriating noise was still ringing in his head. He quickly got up and looked out of the window, and soon found the source. A large, red, annoying cockerel was strutting around the courtyard outside the guesthouse. It was calling loudly at random intervals, and Brian had to clap his hands over his ears to drown out the deafening noise. He stumbled around the room trying to pick up various pieces of clothing with his elbows, and then finally managed to get into the shower. He switched it on and the water spray drowned out any other noises. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back, sighing softly as the calming water flowed over his skin.
Brian reached for some shower gel and let in lather in his hands under the running water. He rubbed it into his arms and chest, and worked his way down, soaping himself thoroughly. As he reached his groin, his hand brushed against a morning erection that he hadn’t even noticed in all the cock confusion. He giggled slightly to himself at the mental pun and slipped his hand slowly along his length. As he slowly stroked himself, Brian found himself picturing Ben. He was naked, and stepping slowly into the shower, becoming dripping wet in seconds. Brian moaned at the mental images, and started pumping quicker, running his thumb across his head. The imaginary Ben starting stroking his own length, moving in rhythm with Brian. They moved closer to each other, groins barely touching and mouths desperately seeking heated kisses. As the sensation built, Brian leant against the cool shower tiles, his legs getting weaker. He moved his hand quicker now, well lubricated by the shower gel and a thin layer of pre-cum. His pants and moans filled the shower room as he felt himself drawing nearer to the edge. With a final grasp and a loud moan, he came against the wall. Pearly strings of cum now decorating the tiles and his hand. He gasped for breath and stood unsteadily back on his legs, washing himself slowly under the jet of hot water.
Brian wandered downstairs and found to his amazement that it was half nine. He hadn’t been up this early in years! As a result of his newly acquired sleeping pattern, he also had a decent breakfast for the first time in ages. As he tucked into his bacon, eggs and coffee, he looked curiously around the breakfast room. There were surprisingly quite a few other guests, considering he had hardly seen any of them since he had been there. On the table to his left sat an elderly couple, who were both dressed in shorts and examining some maps, probably planning their days excursion. To his right sat another couple, but young and soppy-looking, whispering words to each other and holding hands across the table. There were also one or two families with a few various kids, and in the corner sat Claude, nursing what seemed to be an eternal hangover. Marguerite was in the kitchen, and judging by the clashing of plates and the slopping of water she was attempting to wash up.
By the time Brian had finished his breakfast, Marguerite had appeared back in the room and sat down at his table. Her hair was untidily tied up in a knot at the back of her head, and there were soap bubbles across her nose. Brian decided not to mention it, given her harassed expression.
“I saw you walking back yesterday with someone” she said, in a tone that sounded quite accusing.
“Yeh Ben offered to walk me back” Brian replied, chewing on some toast as though nothing was wrong.
“You want to watch that one..” She replied mysteriously.
“Well I shall, I’m going out with him tonight” Brian said, still trying to appear casual. Marguerite simply snorted in response.
“What’s so bad about him anyway?” He queried.
“I don’t like him” She said simply, obviously not wanting to discuss him further. Brian shook his head slightly.
“Fair enough.. Anyway I need something to do today and I’m stuck for ideas. Is there anything interesting near by?” he asked.
“Oh yes, there’s a nice market in the next town that is worth checking out. Le Marché de Poisson” she replied after thinking for a while.
“Oh is it a fish market then?” Brian asked. Marguerite looked at him blankly.
“No.” she said simply.
“Ok then…” Brian replied, a bit confused as Marguerite launched into the finer details of the market and how to get there.
Half an hour later and Brian was waiting impatiently in the reception for a cab. He had phoned for one quite a while ago, and was getting bored of standing around doing nothing. He jumped as he felt someone tapping him on his shoulder and turned around in surprise. It was Claude.
“I saw you coming back with Ben last night..” he started saying, his voice slightly husky.
“Argh I don’t need more lectures about him” Brian stated, starting to get a bit pissed off with everyone.
“I was about to say, don’t mind Marguerite. They had a falling out ages ago, Ben is a nice lad really” Claude finished with a knowing wink, and patted Brian on the shoulder before ambling off again. Brian stood there, a bit confused and wondering whether he should take the advice of the village drunk. Before he could ponder the matter anymore, a loud beeping outside announced the arrival of the cab.
“About time.” Brian muttered to himself as he grabbed his stuff and walked outside.
Brian found the market with very little trouble, and enjoyed his morning walking around and admiring all the different wares. He ended up buying some bottles and jars of various sauces and pickles for Stef, as he was quite a keen cook. He was just browsing a stall for something to get Steve when someone bumped into him. He looked around to find Nicolas sneering back at him.
“Oh you’re still here I see” he said, with a malicious hint to his voice.
“Yeh it’s really nice here, I’ve decided to stay a while” Brian replied airily, picking up a bracelet and inspecting it.
“And I see you’ve got your claws into someone already. Poor little waiter, probably didn’t know what hit him. What with those famous charms of yours.” Nicolas said in a slightly lower tone, and walked off. Brian stared at him as he disappeared from sight. What had he meant? He stood thinking for a while, before putting the bracelet down and deciding to get some food to take his mind off it.
Brian sat in a small bustling café eating some delicious pasta and salad dish. He was rather pissed off at having been stuffed into the smoking section like he had some kind of contagious disease, but the lovely food quickly made up for it. He lit up a cigarette and took a sip of his coffee. Nicotine and caffeine, the perfect cure for nerves and stress. His worries about Nicolas quickly melted away as he sat contentedly spying on the world. It seemed hours ticked away into nothing as Brian looked out of the window at the different people hurrying by. He tried to guess their feelings, who they were hurrying to meet, and their relationships. He found himself imagining small yet intricate stories about each persons life, judged entirely by their looks and the way they moved. Eventually as his mind grew bored of preying on his overactive imagination, his thought's moved back to Ben. He was still nervous about that evening, but then who wouldn't be? He had a date with a beautiful, charming young man in a place that he didn't know too well. Who knew what could happen? And then his mind went off into a weird sort of tangent, and he suddenly imagined Ben rejecting him, and everything fucking up.
Brian shook his head quickly to rid himself of the thoughts, and he was sure some people were staring at him by now, so he rapidly stood up and went to pay for his meal. He walked out of the café and lit up another cigarette without realising, trying to calm his nerves and stop his hands from shaking. He mentally reassured himself that the date would go fine, and walked back into the market to try to distract himself. Brian walked around the back of the stalls towards a less crowded area. He spotted a stall with shining silver decorating it, and headed towards it. The small table was covered in pretty sparkling jewellery, and he studied some pendants and bangles for a while. He ended up choosing a simple spiral design pendant, and then just as he was paying for it he bought another identical one on impulse. He slipped the two necklaces into his bag and walked back up the street, pausing sometimes to look at items that caught his eye.
When Brian looked at his watch next, he found to his amazement it was half five, so he walked down towards the edge of the town to find a cab. He eventually managed to get one's attention and gratefully slipped into the back, informing the driver of his destination. He sat quietly throughout the journey, just gazing out of the window as the butterflies in his stomach seemed to turn into a whirlwind. He was pleased when the cab stopped outside the now familiar building, and he quickly paid the driver and walked inside the guesthouse. Brian found himself face to face with Clémantine and actually jumped slightly in shock. She smiled and was just about to explain herself when Marguerite came bustling into the room.
“Oh Brian you're back I see. Have a nice time? Good. We were just finishing off a family meal, there’s some leftovers if you want them” she said rapidly and smiled, it was all Brian could do to nod back.
“Good good, you need some meat on you, a bit too thin for my liking” she replied, poking him in the ribs at the last sentence. Brian just laughed nervously at his sudden invasion of privacy, and watched carefully as she left the room. Clémantine laughed at his slightly worried look and led him to the kitchen.
“Well at least she’s picking on you and not me anymore” she said as she sat herself down at the table and watched Brian put some chicken and potatoes onto his plate. “She’s been on at me all afternoon as to why I'm not happily married yet”
Brian grinned through his mouthful of food.
“Well glad to see it amuses you. Anyway I hear some rumours about you and Ben tonight?” she said, licking her lips in anticipation for some good gossip.
“News travels quick then? Yeh I asked him out tonight” Brian replied, trying to suppress a huge smile as he continued eating. Clémantine suddenly out of character squealed loudly and almost made him choke.
“Wow really? Ahh that’s excellent! What are you going to wear?” She asked quickly, her excitement showing through in the rapid delivery of her words.
“Umm I'm not sure. Maybe you can help with that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow and finishing off his food.
“Of course” Clémantine said, and then nodded gravely as though it was a very serious task. She impatiently waited until Brian had scraped the leftovers off his plate, and then grabbed his arm to lead him upstairs.
They arrived at Brian’s room and Clémantine immediately launched herself at Brian’s wardrobe. She quickly started picking out various shirts and jeans and laying them out on the bed.
“Wow you have some nice clothes, but shit, some of these must be designer?” She commented, gesturing to a pile of shirts on the bed. Brian looked at them and nodded.
“Yeh there’s a Vivienne Westwood one on top, and a really nice Versace shirt. Ooh and my Dolce and Gabbana jeans, I love those.” He replied, picking up some dark jeans. Clémantine stared at him in astonishment.
“Fuck, you must be a really good writer to afford these!” she said, still staring. Brian blushed nervously and rubbed his forehead.
“Oh yeh.. Well I’ve sold a few good stories and stuff..” he said, unsure of whether he should lie to Clémantine as well. She smiled at him as she continued her search through his clothes.
“Yeah right, I bet you’re really famous and I don’t even know!” she laughed. Brian froze for a moment, and then laughed nervously, perhaps a little too late. Clémantine obviously didn’t notice, so he sat down at the end of the bed and started rifling through his make-up. He was just applying some foundation in his travel mirror when something hit his back. He turned around to see Clémantine holding up a pair of light blue jeans.
“What do you think?” She asked as she held up a sleeveless white top above them. Brian grinned.
“Perfect!” he said, “I didn’t even know I’d brought those jeans with me”
She handed the clothes to him as he walked past into the bathroom. He quickly stepped out of his old jeans and pulled the new pair on. They sat just on his hips, and then flared out slightly towards the bottom. And most importantly they clung to his arse tightly. He grinned to himself, and put on the top, being careful not to cover it in foundation. It was fitted, but not too tight, and showed off his lithe figure perfectly. Brian smiled and waltzed out of the bathroom, twirling around in front of the bed. Clémantine laughed as he became slightly dizzy and had to sit down.
“Wow you look great! Ben won’t be able to resist you.” she said as Brian pulled his bag of make-up over again.
“Lets hope so.” he said as he started work on his eyes.
At quarter to nine Brian was waiting nervously in the reception with Clémantine. She had called the cab company for him as he had remembered he needed a jacket, and dashed back upstairs. He sat with his legs crossed, and continually kept flicking one leg over the other, and then back again. He was also drumming on his thigh, as he stared at the clock on the wall and willed it to be 9 already.
“God you look so nervous” Clémantine commented. “Don’t worry it will be fine” she smiled at him and rubbed his hand reassuringly. Brian managed a smile and then resumed watching the clock, which was now going so slow he was sure it was about to go backwards. He jumped as someone opened the front door, and looked up to see the man he was expecting. He got to his feet with Clémantine and she giggled and kissed him on the cheek.
“Right I’ve got to dash, have fun you two!” she said with a knowing wink as she hastily exited.
Brian turned to face Ben and the one thought that crossed his mind was “wow!”. He surveyed him quickly, a cheeky smile now occupying his face. Ben had decided to play it casual in a pair of black jeans and a dark blue shirt that had the first few buttons undone. Ben coughed nervously.
“Shall we er.. go?” he asked.
“Oh yes sorry! You look great!” Brian said, as he grabbed Ben’s arm and led him out of the door. The cab was waiting and Ben blushed his thanks as they both climbed into the back.
“Le Trou dans Ste Maxime s’il vous plait” he instructed. Ben looked at him curiously.
“We’re going to Le Trou?” he asked.
“Yes why?” Brian replied, feeling worried he had chosen somewhere inappropriate. Ben just smiled back at him.
“I’ve always wanted to go there” he said, slightly shyly. Brian grinned to himself, and started telling Ben about his day at the market.
The cab pulled up right outside the club, and Brian had swanned up to the door and paid for them both before Ben could even say anything. Brian must have sensed his unvoiced question as he turned to face him.
“I asked you out on the date, so I just think its right I should pay.” He explained, looking at Ben pensively. Ben just smiled back.
“Date? I like the sound of that” he said. Brian laughed with him as they linked arms and walked into the dimly lit room.
There was some loud dance music playing, which immediately muffled their ears. They both stood at the doorway as their eyes adjusted to the darkness. Slowly various figures and objects slipped into view, and Brian moved towards a table near the bar. He waited for Ben to sit down before leaning forward.
“What do you want to drink?” he asked loudly, though his voice could just about be heard over the music.
“Southern Comfort and coke” Ben replied. Brian nodded and sauntered over to the bar, making sure his jeans were hugging his figure in all the right places. He could feel Ben’s eyes boring into his back (side, as it were) and he smiled to himself, before leaning over the bar and ordering their drinks.
It wasn’t long before he was making his way back to the table, with a cool glass in each hand. He slipped into the seat next to Ben and put the drinks on the table, he also made sure he was sitting as close to Ben as possible. Not that it seemed he minded, as he picked up his glass and mouthed a thanks.
They both sat in silence for a moment, testing their drinks, removing coats, and bags in Brian’s case. Then Ben twisted to the side to face him, and leant close to his neck to talk.
“So you live in London right?” he asked. Brian shivered slightly as his warm breath tickled the delicate skin on his neck.
“Yeh, in Stratford” he managed to reply, “I have a nice converted loft flat, its really spacious and airy”
“And I’m assuming you live alone then?” Ben asked, knowing the answer but wanting to be certain.
“Yep. Well Stef and Steve stay over so often they might as well live there” Brian replied casually, not quite knowing what to with his hands, so placing them in his lap instead. Ben drew back slightly to reveal his confused expression. Brian remembered he hadn’t mentioned Stef or Steve yet. He slid his hand round the back of Ben’s neck and pulled him closer so he could hear.
“Stef and Steve are my two best friends. I’ve known them for years, and I went to school with Stef.” He explained. He didn’t move his hand either; it was just left comfortably on Ben’s neck as Brian talked eagerly about his friends.
Ben moved his head back slightly as he looked at Brian.
“Wow they sound like good friends” he said. Brian nodded.
“They are” he replied. Ben chewed his lip for a moment and looked around the room. His eyes came back to settle on Brian’s after a while.
“Were you ever.. with either of them?” he asked quietly. Brian laughed softly.
“I guess it sounds that way, but no. It would be too weird, they are like my family. Even Steve’s little daughter calls me and Stef uncle” he said as Ben looked relieved. He suddenly got to his feet and held out his hand.
“I love this song. Come dance with me?”
Ben looked hesitant for a moment, then allowed himself to be pulled to his feet by Brian. They moved casually over to the dance floor, where there were already some people swaying to the music. Brian grabbed his hips to turn him so they were facing, and started to move, slowly at first, but in time with the beat. He noticed Ben was looking a bit lost so he led him, swaying his hips sensually, his gaze never leaving the taller man’s. He ran one of his hands along Ben’s side and round his back, hooking him closer. They gravitated toward each other as though naturally, and Brian found himself getting lost in the music and rhythm. It felt so right to be there, dancing with a beautiful young man, who’s body was now so close to his own he could feel the nervous tingling between them. He licked his bottom lip and looked back up to Ben. He was staring back down at him with a new hungry rapture, and out of no-where his hand slipped behind Brian’s neck to pull him closer. The distance between them was so small now that Brian could almost taste the saltiness of his skin. He closed his eyes and leant forward to test those full pouty lips, when he found himself almost collapsing to the floor.
For a moment Brian thought that he had somehow had too much to drink already, when he heard a familiar sneering voice. One he didn’t particularly want to hear that night.
“Oh didn’t see you down there” it said, as its friends let out a childish snigger of approval. Brian was about to say something when to his surprise Ben interrupted him.
“Oh piss off Nicolas. Why are you always acting like such a twat? What has he done to you?” he said, squaring up to him.
“Because I don’t like rich London fuckers who think they can come to our town, fuck half the population and then leave.” Nicolas replied, staring past Ben with cold eyes.
“I don’t think Brian is a rich London fucker, and anyway he’s not going to fuck half the town.” Ben said, still standing his ground defiantly.
“Oh really? It looks as though he’s made a start to me” Nicolas sneered, turning and walking off with his friends. Ben turned back to face Brian and held out his arm to steady him. The anger in his eyes had quickly been replaced by concern.
“Are you ok?” he asked, brushing a stray strand of hair out of Brian’s face.
“Yeh I’m fine. He just caught me off guard that’s all.” Brian replied quickly, letting himself be led back to the table. He sat back down and Ben leaned over towards him.
“Do you want another drink?” he asked.
“Yeh that would be great.” Brian said as he fished around in his back pocket for some money.
“Don’t worry, this one is on me” Ben replied, smiling at him before heading off the bar.
Brian sat deep in thought as he waited for Ben to return. He couldn’t believe it. The first night he managed to have a good time in ages, and some fucker ruins it. Everything had seemed so perfect before, and now he just felt like getting pissed. But he couldn’t help but keep going over Nicolas’ words. Famous charms, rich Londoner. Did he know?
He was spared the trouble of torturing his mind any further as Ben arrived back with the drinks. Brian laughed at the cocktail umbrella and cherry that had been thoughtfully slipped into his vodka red-bull, and then after deciding that he deserved a drink, downed half the glass in one go.
“Thirsty are you?” Ben asked, raising one delectable eyebrow. Brian grinned back at him.
“No, I’ve just decided I deserve to get pissed tonight” he replied, as Ben laughed.
“That’s fine, as long as its me you’re getting pissed with!” Ben said. Brian looked up at him as he sipped the rest of his drink.
“Why wouldn’t it be you?” he asked, twirling the cocktail umbrella between his fingers.
“Well there’s a lot of beautiful people here tonight..” Ben trailed off uneasily.
“And I’m sitting next to the most beautiful of them” Brian announced, waving his hands in the air and making sure he shifted ever so slightly closer. If it wasn’t so dark he would have noticed the faint pink blush that occupied his companions cheeks.
“Flattery.. but ah..” Ben’s sentence was cut short by Brian popping the cherry into his mouth. Brian took the opportunity of his silence to get to his feet.
“Right, this calls for shots!” he grinned wickedly and pranced off to the bar. Ben smiled to himself in his amazement at Brian’s energy. He was soon smiling even more broadly at the sight of Brian returning with a large bottle of pink vodka and shot glasses.
A few hours (and a lot of vodka) later, and Brian was sprawled across Ben’s lap laughing incoherently at something. He eventually managed to compose himself and sat up, eyeing the last of the vodka.
“One more?” he asked, turning to Ben enquiringly.
“No nooo I’ve had far too much” Ben shook his head as Brian pouted a little.
“Aww come on, one for the road and to finish the bottle?” he said, trying to make his case sound convincing. Ben moved his head from one side to another, as though caught in a mental conflict.
“Oh ok, fine.” He said, eventually giving up. Brian quickly poured one shot, and was just pouring the other when the bottle slipped from his hands and somehow flew across the table, soaking Ben’s face and chest in the process.
“Oh shit, fuck, I’m sorry” Brian mumbled as he leant across to try and help repair the damage. Ben muttered to himself as he unbuttoned his shirt, and Brian just stared as his chest was slowly revealed. He moved towards him, intending to try and wipe the vodka off, but somehow finding his lips across Ben’s skin. His tongue flicked out to soak up the liquid, and he slowly licked his way up his neck, trailing along his jaw. He heard Ben let out a sigh as he shifted his position and made his way towards his lips. Brian was just about to kiss him when he felt Ben’s hand gently pushing him away, and tilting his chin up so they were facing each other.
“Not here…” he said, trying to avoid Brian’s gaze, “It would set Nicolas off, and I really don’t want him ruining our night anymore”
Brian nodded and sat back, trying to clear up the mess on the table. He glanced at his watch and noticed it was nearly 2.
“Shall we make a move now? Its getting quite late” he asked, trying not to look directly at Ben, who now had his shirt done up again.
“Yeh ok” was his simple reply, and they both gathered their belongings in relative silence. They walked towards the door and out of the club, the cold air hitting them as they got outside.
Brian was just looking around for a cab when Ben grabbed his arm and swung him around so his back was against the wall. He breathed heavily across his neck and ran his hand through Brian’s hair. He stared at him for a moment, almost lost in thought, before moving his lips down to meet his. They brushed together nervously at first, as drunken limbs tried to re-arrange themselves. Ben hesitantly ran his tongue over Brian’s bottom lip and bit down gently. Brian sighed underneath him and parted his lips slightly, before pushing his tongue out to meet Ben’s. They drowned themselves in the kiss, exploring each other shyly like teenage lovers, unaware of the street and the world around them. Brian eventually broke away, pulling back slightly to look up at Ben’s half lidded gaze. He felt a thumb running over his cheek and brought his arms up around Ben’s neck.
Brian breathed a sigh of contentment as he stared up at the taller man.
“Wow..” he said, unable to think of anything else at that present time. Ben curled his lips into a smile and echoed the thought.
“Yeh, wow!” he smiled down at the beautiful creature, as it leant upwards to kiss him again. They eventually, and rather reluctantly pulled away from each other.
“Come on, we need to find a taxi” Ben said, smiling as he felt Brian's small hand clasp around his own. He simply nodded in response and cuddled himself into Ben's side, trying to extract some warmth in the cold night air.
It didn't take them long to hail a taxi, and soon they were sitting comfortably in the back seat, limbs entwined. Brian's head was beginning to feel very fuzzy from all the vodka, and he was content just to sit there clinging to Ben's chest.
“Ben?” he asked softly, more for his own pounding head than anything else.
“Yes Brian?” came the reply just above his shoulder.
“Will you come up with me?” he asked, a little shyly, but running his hand along Ben's chest to disguise that.
“What, you mean to your room?” Ben replied.
“Yeah, it would be nice wouldn't it?” Brian said, swinging his leg over so he was straddling him.
“Uhm, I don't think that’s such a good idea, considering how Marguerite feels about me” Ben said, running his hands along Brian's sides.
“Oh fuck her, come on Ben” Brian purred, leaning in to kiss him, flicking his tongue hungrily around his mouth. Ben kissed him back fervently, pulling him closer and trying to ignore the obvious stares the cab driver was giving them.
“Mmm you taste so good... but no I can't.” He said, as Brian pouted up at him.
“But I tell you what, why don't you come to mine tomorrow? I'll get a movie and cook some dinner?” he reasoned. Brian seemed to brighten up immediately.
“Ok then, it’s a date” he said, and leaned in for another kiss.
The cab journey ended too soon for Brian’s liking, and in no time at all he was grabbing his coat and bag, and giving Ben a quick goodnight kiss.
“You’ll be alright getting up to your room won’t you?” he asked concernedly. Brian nodded, and then tripped up the curb as he stumbled towards the front door. He stood for a good few minutes trying to open the door before he realised he was pulling on the window. Feeling a little embarrassed, even in his drunken state, he eventually got in the front door, and started manoeuvring the stairs. Brian giggled to himself as he remembered this was the second night he had drunkenly tried to get back to his room. But his giggling was somehow quite loud, so he clapped a hand over his mouth in an effort to keep the other guests asleep. By some chance he managed to fight his way up the stairs to the familiar door of his room. He kicked off his shoes and clothes, and sank into the warm bed for some well-deserved rest.
Chapter 4:
Sunday 13th March
Brian woke up the next morning to an unusual quietness, and gentle sunlight filtering through his curtains. The pounding in his head made him realise he wasn’t going anywhere soon, so he rolled over and relished the comfort of his bed. After a while he reluctantly opened one eye, as he was quite curious as to what time it was. The offensive red digits on the clock told him that it was 1, and he sighed to himself.
“Back to old habits” he murmured to the room. He rolled onto his back and stretched out his aching limbs, smiling to himself as memories of the previous night invaded his mind. He briefly wondered to himself where the cockerel had gotten to, and then decided he didn’t really care, so he set about the delicate task of getting out of bed.
Brian appeared downstairs half an hour later, freshly showered and dressed in casual, comfy clothes. He shuffled into the breakfast room and made himself a coffee, then sat down at a table near the window and lit up a cigarette. He sat in relative silence as there was no-one else in the room, and he savoured the precious time his aching head had to recover. The coffee and cigarette soon helped though, and he shuffled back out of the room in search of some human contact.
Strangely enough the house was deserted, and Brian could imagine that the rest of the guests were all still in bed nursing hangovers. He somehow felt compelled to tell someone about his fantastic night, and given that Marguerite seemed to hate Ben, Clémantine seemed the obvious choice. Except there was one problem, he didn’t know where she lived. He stood in the reception, thinking to himself and clutching a cup of cold coffee for god knows how long, before an impatient coughing interrupted him.
“Do you usually just stand in the middle of rooms, blocking people’s way?” Marguerite said, staring at him curiously. Brian stared back for a second, his confused mind trying to remember who she was, when suddenly it dawned on him and he laughed to himself.
“What’s so funny?” she asked, looking thoroughly confused now.
“I was trying to work out how to get to Clémantine’s house, and I totally forgot you were her aunt” Brian explained, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Marguerite simply raised an eyebrow at him.
“And why would you want to go to Clémantine’s?” she asked. Brian was about to explain about Ben, when he caught himself and started on a new explanation.
“Well It’s a bit late, and there’s not much to do on a Sunday, so I thought I would go for a chat.” He managed to say, which was partially true to be fair. Marguerite stared at him for a moment, as if deciding whether his reason was valid.
“OK, well she only lives a few street from here. Would you like me to write down some directions?” she replied. Brian nodded and followed her over to the desk, quite amazed that she was being so helpful.
A while later, and after getting lost twice, Brian found himself outside what he presumed to be Clémantine’s front door. He held up his hand hesitantly and knocked softly on the bright red wood. He stepped back and waited, staring at the door. It soon opened to reveal Clémantine, who looked rather surprised at finding Brian on her doorstep.
“Brian! What are you doing here?” she said, her voice echoing her surprise.
“Well a hello would be nice” Brian said, grinning sarcastically.
“Oh yeah, god how rude of me! Hi, come in!” Clémantine blustered, ushering him inside the door.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything, I just got really bored.” Brian asked, looking around the hallway.
“Oh no not at all. I’m glad you came in fact, I want to hear about last night” Clémantine replied and smiled as she pushed him into the front room and onto a sofa.
“Can I get you a drink?” she asked, straightening the blanket spread across the sofa.
“Yeh a coffee would be great” Brian replied, and she wandered off towards the kitchen.
“Is it OK if I smoke in here?” he called after her, as an afterthought.
“Yeh sure, make yourself at home” she replied, and started busying herself with the kettle. Brian lit up a cigarette, and pulled the ashtray on the coffee table nearer towards him. He sat back a little, and carefully studied the room around him. It was quite normal, with the dark carpet, matching curtains, and the various odd ornaments cluttered around the mantelpiece. It was painted in quite a garish yellow, which Brian had to admit was starting to hurt his eyes a bit. He was saved staring at it any further though, as Clémantine walked back in with two cups of coffee.
“Nice place” he commented casually, as he accepted the hot mug and flicked his ash delicately in the ashtray.
“Ahh the yellow is horrible, but I can’t find a decent painter in this town” she said, staring at the walls in a disgusted manner. Brian felt glad that it wasn’t just his eyes it was offending.
“Sooo.. what happened last night” she replied, leaning back into the sofa and crossing her legs.
“We went out, had a few drinks and danced..” Brian said, watching her keen face.
“Aaaaand?” she asked with childlike curiosity. Brian paused for a moment, wanting to keep her on the edge.
“We kissed” he admitted finally, “A lot” Clémantine’s grin grew so wide, Brian was sure it would split.
“So how did it happen? Where?” she asked eagerly, almost spilling her coffee.
“Uhm, I spilt vodka on him, so I started to lick his chest clean..”
“You LICKED him?!” Clémantine squealed incredulously.
“Yeh…” Brian said, smiling at the memory, “Then I went to kiss him, but he stopped me. So we went outside and I was looking for a cab, when he grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall and we kissed”
Clémantine looked as though Christmas had come early.
“Fuck! And have you arranged to meet again?” she asked.
“Yeh, I’m going to his house for dinner tonight” Brian replied, smiling as she started giggling happily. He frowned slightly as he thought for a moment.
“Ah but he didn’t tell me what time.. or where he lives?” he said, chewing his lip slightly.
“Now that’s where I can help” Clémantine beamed as she fished around for her mobile phone, which seemed to have fallen down the side of the sofa.
Brian sat back and sipped some coffee as Clémantine almost frantically found Ben’s number and phoned it. She tapped her nails on the table frustratedly until eventually someone picked up.
“Hey Ben! Yeah, yeah I’m good. Hey I have someone to talk to you.” she said as she held the phone out towards Brian. He quickly placed his coffee and cigarette on the table and accepted the small silver phone. He held it cautiously to his ear.
“Hello?” he said, feeling nervous as he realised this was the first time they had spoken on the phone.
“Oh hey Bri!” a cheery voice responded, “I hope you’re not too hung over, we still have our date tonight remember?”
“Nah, the coffee and nicotine is helping. Actually that’s what I’m calling about. You didn’t mention a time last night, either that or I was too pissed to hear it?” he replied. He could hear Ben almost mentally slap himself on the other end.
“Oh shit yeah, I knew I forgot something! Uhm, how about 7? Give me time to prepare something?” Ben asked.
“Yeh 7 sounds great, and er.. how do I get to your house?” Brian replied tentatively.
“Clémantine can show you” Ben said.
“Ok thanks. I’ll see you later then?” Brian replied, a smile creeping over his face at the thought of that night.
“Yep. Oh and by the way, I really enjoyed last night.” Ben said, a hint of flirtatiousness coming over his voice. Brian’s smile grew wider.
“Me too. See you.” he said, as he handed the phone back to Clémantine. She got to her feet and wandered into the kitchen as she continued idly chatting with Ben. Not that Brian minded. He picked up his cigarette and coffee and sank back into the sofa. He felt stupidly happy, as if he was a teenager going on his first date. Except it was a second date, and he had much more interesting plans than that of a teenager..
He sat in blissful thought for a while, until a cough brought him back to the real world. Clémantine was waving a hand in front of his face.
“Hello? Earth to Brian? You’ve been staring at that wall for a good few minutes now. Surely it can’t be that interesting?” she asked sarcastically. Brian blushed slightly as she sat back down next to him.
“Sorry, I was miles away” he apologised, smiling sheepishly.
“Thinking about tonight?” she guessed smartly.
“Got it in one” Brian smiled back.
“Now I will really be needed the details of this night!” she said, grinning and propping her feet up on the table.
“And I shall deliver. Oh hey, do you think I could have Ben’s mobile number?” Brian asked quietly.
“Sure, it saves me having to keep ringing him for you. Do you want mine as well?” she said, reaching for her phone.
“Yeh that would be great” Brian replied, tapping the numbers he was dictated into his phone.
They sat and chatted, not really noticing the time going by until something started to vibrate by Brian’s leg. He jumped as he looked down and saw it was only his mobile. He flicked it open and automatically answered in French (as he had been speaking it all afternoon)
“Oui?” he asked, waiting for the caller to make themselves known.
“Brian is that you?” asked Steve’s voice from the other end.
“Oh yeh sorry Steve, I’m so used to talking French I keep forgetting” he said, leaning back into the sofa.
“Ok, well I’m calling to say sorry for being an arse..” Steve started.
“Bit late isn’t it?” Brian retorted quickly.
“Look I’m trying to apologise. I am sorry, honestly. I was just getting a bit pissed off and my temper flared, you know me.” Steve replied.
“Yeh I know, don’t worry all is forgiven” Brian said, smiling at Clémantine who was signing the international gesture for coffee. Basically making a cup shape and shaking your hand. He nodded and she wandered back into the kitchen with two empty mugs.
“Wow you sound in a good mood, how have you been?” Steve asked.
“Yeh I’m great. I’ve been writing a lot, meeting some new people, generally letting myself relax” Brian replied.
“If going to a club is what you call relaxing” Clémantine interrupted from the kitchen.
“Who was that?” Steve queried.
“Oh that was just Clémantine. I’m at her house right now, she’s my landlady’s niece” Brian explained.
“So.. do you know when you will be coming back?” Steve asked, revealing the true nature of his call. Brian sighed. He didn’t want to think about going back, not right now.
“I don’t know. I still have to sort a few things out, and get my writing back underway again” he said, trying to sound casual.
“Ok then. We’re just worried about you Bri. I mean, taking off like that to somewhere in France we don’t even know, and then not even knowing when you’re coming back. Because you are coming back, aren’t you?” Steve asked quietly, voicing his concern.
“Of course I’m coming back. I love you and Stef, I couldn’t leave you” Brian reasoned, trying to make himself believe it.
“Ok, speak to you later” Steve replied, sounding a little better.
“Bye” Brian said, and ended the call. He looked around to see Clémantine, hands on hips and not looking best pleased.
“Who are Stef and Steve?”
“They are my two best friends, why?” Brian replied, feeling thoroughly confused.
“Well you I caught the words Stef, Steve, and I love you, what am I supposed to think? I hope you aren’t fucking with Ben” Clémantine replied loudly, anger just beginning to show on her features.
“No honestly, I’ve known them both for over 10 years, they mean the world to me.” Brian pleaded, “I would never do anything to hurt Ben, I promise”
Clémantine’s features softened a bit as she took in the information.
“Really?” she asked, her voice quieter now.
“Really. They were just worried about me, I kind of took off without telling them where I was going.” Brian responded, patting the sofa beside him and motioning for her to sit down. She hesitated for a moment, and then gave in. She turned to face Brian with an apologetic look on her face.
“I’m sorry, It’s just Ben is my best friend and I’ve seen him hurt too many times before. I couldn’t help jumping to the wrong conclusion.” she admitted, lowering her head.
“It’s ok,” Brian replied, putting a comforting arm around her shoulders, “I’m like that too. When Stef’s last boyfriend dumped him unceremoniously on his birthday, Steve had to literally lock me in my flat to stop me going and kicking his arse.”
“You sound really close.” Clémantine said.
“Yeah we are. I miss them a lot already.” Brian replied, thinking of his friends back home.
“Well you have me and Ben to talk to here.” she said brightly.
“Yeah, I think I would have gone insane if it wasn’t for you two!” Brian said, as Clémantine started to get to her feet. She smiled back at him, then quickly checked her watch.
“Crap, it’s 5 already! I imagine you want to get changed before your hot date with Ben?” she asked, gesturing to Brian’s extremely casual attire.
“Cheeky!” Brian replied, poking her in the side as he got up. “Actually I do need to get changed. What would Ben think if I turned up on his doorstep like this?”
“That the local tramp had stopped by?” Clémantine grinned, dodging out of the way of Brian’s attacking fingers.
“If I didn’t need to get back and changed, you would be in serious trouble right now young lady!” Brian joked as they walked out the front door and into the cool evening.
They managed to get back to the guesthouse and have a quick drink with Marguerite before going to find Brian something to wear. Clémantine decided to help again, mostly because she had nothing better to do, and by quarter to seven Brian was ready to go. He had decided to go for a slightly more toned down look with dark jeans and a black top, plus a light jacket chosen by Clémantine. Just as they were about to leave, Marguerite seemed to appear out of no-where in front of them.
“Out again tonight?” she asked Brian, brandishing a feather duster quite menacingly.
“Well yeh..” Brian stammered, quite intimidated by the large woman in front of him, seemingly threatening him with household items.
“Yes he is Aunt, and he’s going to Bens in case you needed to know.” Clémantine stated simply before pushing Brian out of the door and down the street.
“Thanks for that, I thought I was going to get beaten to death with that feather duster!” Brian joked as they walked down the road.
“It’s ok, she can be a bit scary at times, you just need to know how to handle her.” Clémantine replied. They walked in relative silence until they came to a stop outside a modest house not too far away.
“Well this is it” Clémantine said, leaning over for a goodbye hug. “Have fun!”
“I will” Brian replied, returning her smile and watching as she walked back into the distance. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
Brian looked around nervously as he waited on the doorstep. His fears quickly melted away though as Ben answered the door, freshly showered with damp hair and looking incredibly good. He motioned for Brian to step inside, and once they were in the confines of his hallway, he wrapped his arms around Brian’s waist and pulled him in for a soft kiss. When they broke away, Brian stared up at him, smiling slightly.
“Do you always greet your guests that way?” he asked, grinning.
“Only the pretty ones” Ben smiled back, as he let his hands trail off Brian’s hips and walked towards the kitchen.
Brian followed Ben eagerly, and upon walking through the doorway his senses were assaulted by a delicious aroma.
“What’s for dinner then?” Brian asked, motioning towards the various pots and pans cluttering the top of the stove.
“Baked aubergines with savoury rice and some foccacia bread.” Ben replied as he checked the oven and then went hunting through some cupboards.
“Mm sounds nice.. and dessert?” Brian asked, leaning back against a counter and running his tongue across his bottom lip. Ben re-emerged from the cupboard holding a bottle of wine and winked.
“Ah dessert.. I have something in mind” he said as he poured two glasses of wine, then handed one to Brian who nodded his thanks.
“Well dinner won’t be ready for another 15 minutes, so shall we go and sit down?” Ben suggested as he took a sip of his wine.
“Yeh sure” Brian happily agreed, and followed Ben into what must have been the living room. He sat down on the sofa, and kicked off his shoes, relaxing back into the cushions. Ben was busying himself with the stereo in the corner of the room, and when he walked contentedly back, soft music was playing from small speakers on the walls. He settled himself on the other end of the sofa, with his elbow leaning on the arm and his cheek resting on his hand. Brian looked over at him and he was seemingly deep in thought, with his wine glass halfway to his mouth.
“So, what did you do today?” Brian asked softly, breaking the almost silence.
“Thought about you” Ben replied honestly, smiling back at him. If the room wasn’t so dimly lit, Brian could have sworn his cheeks would glow bright red. He stayed silent for fear of sounding vain, and instead just watched Ben’s face intently.
“Well I got up late, around about 2, with a splitting headache. Managed to swallow some tablets and dragged myself to the shops to buy some supplies. Then I came back, started cooking, got changed and got very nervous.” Ben admitted, raising his glass slowly to his lips. Brian quickly placed his glass on the table and shifted along the sofa.
“There’s no need to be nervous” he said quietly, watching as a droplet of wine broke free and ran across Ben’s lips. He leant forward and ran his tongue across his bottom lip, absorbing the liquid and allowing Ben time to dispose of his own glass.
Ben’s hands appeared on his sides, pulling him across onto his lap and bringing their mouths together. He kissed Brian softly, letting their lips press together and giggling quietly as Brian’s tongue probed further. He sucked gently on his bottom lip before parting his own and kissing him properly. Their tongues twisted together, hungrily exploring each other’s mouths as Ben slid his arms across Brian’s back. He quickly moved back on the sofa so he was lying down with his legs slightly parted, and pulled Brian down with him. Brian allowed himself to be embraced tightly, and electricity ran down his spine at the feel of Ben’s body pressed so close to his own. He moaned slightly into the kiss, delighting at the feel of the vibrations and moved his hands down to the hem of Ben’s shirt. He was just about to explore underneath it when a loud buzzing sound made him sit up in shock.
He looked down at Ben, who had slightly dishevelled hair and traces of lip-gloss smeared around his mouth courtesy of Brian. He couldn’t help noting that he looked utterly fuckable.
“Bloody oven alarm” Ben explained, attempting to sit up as Brian moved off him.
“So I guess dinner’s ready then?” Brian asked as he straightened out his shirt.
“Yeh if you just want to go and sit at the table, I’ll bring it right through.” He said, picking up the empty glasses and heading towards the kitchen.
“To be continued later?” he added as an afterthought.
“Most definitely” Brian smiled back and went to sit down at the table.
Ben soon came back in holding two steaming plates of food, and some more wine.
“Are you trying to get me drunk?” Brian joked as he joined him at the table.
“Whatever gave you that idea?” Ben replied mischievously, as he poured a rather generous glassful.
They sat and chatted about random things while they ate, and Brian couldn’t help but notice that Ben was flirting a lot more and giving him what he hoped were clear signs. The meal itself was delicious and Brian had managed to finish his in no time. He waited patiently as Ben emptied his plate and emptied the last of the bottle out.
“So.. what’s for dessert then?” he asked curiously, leaning across the table slightly. Ben grinned as he stood up and started to clear the plates and glasses away.
“Ahh well I have the perfect thing to round off the evening..” he replied mysteriously.
“Which is?” Brian asked.
“A scary film and a tub of ice cream” Ben said, as he sauntered off into the kitchen. Brian smiled to himself, he could certainly think of some uses for that..
Brian went and got settled on the sofa while he listened to Ben washing the plates and humming a rather tacky pop song. He smiled to himself, which was something he couldn’t seem to stop doing recently. Everything seemed to be going so well and the way things were looking, it was about to get a whole lot better.
Ben quickly finished and came to join him on the sofa, armed with two spoons and a truly colossal tub of ice cream. He dimmed the lights and put the film on, and then curled up on the sofa. Brian was quick to crawl across to his end and lean into his side.
“I want some ice cream too! You can’t hog it all!” he complained, pouting slightly. Ben just laughed and put his arm around him, pulling him closer.
They watched the film in silence, jumping at the scary parts and managing to eat their way through most of the ice cream. Suddenly Brian buried his face into Ben’s chest.
“Argh that’s it, I can’t watch it anymore” he said, his voice muffled through the shirt.
“What’s the matter?” Ben asked.
“I’m ok with gory films, it’s just the ones with ghosts and spirits that shit me up” he said with a mock sob.
“Aww, is poor Bri scared of the nasty film?” Ben teased, ruffling his hair slightly. Brian’s head shot up.
“No I’m not scared.. just a bit bothered..” he replied, crossing his arms in defiance.
“You’re scared! Aww don’t worry, I’ll look after the poor baby” Ben said, poking his tongue out.
“Don’t patronise me!” Brian said, looking around for something to defend himself with.
“Or else?” Ben replied, looking very amused.
“Or else I’ll poke you with a spoon!” Brian exclaimed as he brandished the silver utensil in front of him.
“Oh no, I’m so scared.” Ben said sarcastically, but keeping his guard up as he expected the smaller man to pounce at any time.
“You should be..” Brian replied with a mischievous glint in his eye, and he leapt onto Ben and started poking his sides with the end of the spoon. Ben had obviously underestimated the power of the spoon and was soon laughing and squirming and trying to wrestle Brian off of him. He eventually managed to grab the offending object and held Brian’s hands above his head to try to prevent any imminent tickling attacks. He threw the spoon across the room and looked up at Brian. They had somehow managed to get into a position where Ben was lying on his back with Brian on top of him, his hands still held above his head and breathing heavily. The same situation as earlier, Ben noted with interest.
“Continuing where we left off?” Brian asked, obviously having noticed the same thing. Ben didn’t reply, he just let his hands go and tangled his own in Brian’s hair, pulling them closer to each other. Brian’s breath was hot on his skin, his mouth barely inches away and his lips slightly parted in anticipation. Ben leaned up and kissed him fiercely, his tongue snaking out to meet Brian’s. His hand trailed down his side coming to rest on his hip and his thumb traced small circles on the soft skin. Brian slid one hand around Ben’s neck, leaving his other resting on his chest. His fingers were teasing through the thin material and he felt his groin twitch as Ben moaned slightly into their kiss. He kissed back harder, biting Ben’s bottom lip and then slowly licking at the bruised flesh. Brian let his hand move down towards the hem of his shirt again, and sensing no hesitation from Ben, slipped underneath it. His fingers moved back up his chest, exploring the smooth skin and taut stomach. Ben broke away from the kiss and lay back, gazing up at Brian. His eyes were radiating lust and his lips were swollen and red.
“God you’re beautiful” Ben murmured and reached up to kiss him again. The film played on, forgotten, as Brian tugged at the sides of Ben’s shirt. He helpfully lifted his arms above his head, and it was soon pulled off and tossed to the floor.
Brian continued his exploration of the expanse of newly revealed chest with vigour. He trailed his hands along the sides, delighting at the smooth skin, and ran his hands across Ben’s sternum. He leant down to kiss him again, and Ben’s arms twisted around his neck, keeping him close. He could feel the blood rushing to his groin as their hips bumped together, Ben parting his legs slightly to allow Brian to move even closer. They kissed more hungrily now, their mouths revealing the need for something more. Brian let his fingers dance around Ben’s nipples, the small mounds of flesh hardening under his touch. He broke away from Ben’s mouth and trailed small kisses along his cheek to the top of his neck. He sucked gently on the smooth skin as he working his way down to his collarbone, nipping at the skin when he reached his destination. Ben moaned slightly above him, running his fingers through Brian’s hair and silently begging him to continue. Brian licked the skin across his chest, cooling the burning skin and leaving a small trail. He swirled his tongue around one nipple teasingly, before enveloping it in his hot mouth and sucking lightly.
“Oh god that feels so good” Ben managed to say, as his breathing increased rapidly. Brian smiled slightly and continued his work, allowing his teeth to gently graze the skin. He slid his hands along Ben’s back, tracing the bumps in his spine with his fingers, before grabbing his arse with a lustful squeeze. Ben exhaled loudly in shock and Brian grinned and looked up. He slid back up Ben’s body with effortless ease and kissed him again, plunging his tongue deep into his mouth and allowing his hands to roam over his back.
Ben fidgeted slightly and tried to sit up, so Brian pulled away with a concerned look. Ben sat up straight, holding Brian in place so he was sat on his lap straddling him. He leaned in to kiss him as his fingers quickly pulled the thin material of his shirt over his chest. He pulled it over Brian’s head and threw it onto the floor to join his own. He let his eyes wander over the astonishing sight of Brian half naked, sat astride him and then brought his gaze to rest on Brian’s eyes. They stared at each other, green pools of light merging into blue as their hands softly played on concealed thighs. Ben wrapped his arms around Brian’s back, pulling him towards his chest and revelling at the feel of their flushed skin pressed together. He kissed him longingly on his mouth, before moving down to his neck and sucking forcefully. A gasp escaped Brian’s lips as he let his hands wander down the waistband of Ben’s jeans, carelessly playing with the material.
Ben continued his exploration of Brian’s pale chest for a while, trailing his tongue teasingly and delighting in the sounds coming from his partner. He looked up and stared at Brian for a second, as if trying to judge something. When he finally spoke his voice was quiet and his breathing was unsteady.
“Do you… shall we… upstairs?” Ben asked, keeping Brian’s gaze intently.
“Of course” Brian replied, smiling and leaning forward to kiss him again, his fingers lacing with Ben’s. They crawled off the sofa and Ben led them through the hall and up the stairs, stopping for quick kisses and childish giggling along the way. They eventually stumbled through the door into a bedroom, and Brian pushed Ben back onto the bed. He climbed on top of him and his hands quickly set to work on his belt buckle. He pulled the unwanted jeans off, and carelessly tossed them to the floor.
Brian sat back as he tried to catch his breath, admiring the nearly naked beauty lying at his mercy in front of him. He smirked as his gaze dropped to one part of Ben still covered, and obviously straining against its captivity. He flicked his tongue over his lips and crawled forward across Ben’s body, meeting his mouth in a frenzied kiss. Ben moaned as Brian’s hand slipped down his chest, across his navel and to his groin. He slid his hand under the waistband of his boxers, gently trailing through the course pubic hair and towards the base of his cock. He gripped it firmly, running his fingers along the length as Ben shuddered his approval underneath him. Brian became aware of his own uncomfortable situation and tried to tug his jeans off using one hand. Ben’s hand trailed up his leg to help, and the item was quickly discarded onto the floor. They came together for another bruising kiss, the heat of their skin nearly blistering and Brian still slowly stroking Ben’s cock in the small space between them. Ben pushed his hips upwards to meet Brian’s hand more forcefully, and gasped at the intense contact. Brian pulled away to a disapproving pout from Ben, as he set about removing their underwear. He pushed Ben onto his back and leant down to trail his tongue along the top of his thigh. He continued his persistent teasing for a while, before a desperate whimper from Ben moved his attention. Brian moved his mouth over Ben’s cock, lightly brushing the head with his lips.
“Do you want this?” he asked softly, his heated breath creating powerful sensations along Ben’s length.
“Oh god yes” Ben breathed heavily, as he restlessly ran his hands over his chest.
“How much?” Brian asked, grinning evilly at his little game, reaching out and running his tongue across Ben’s slit. Ben gasped as his hands gripped the bed sheets frenziedly.
“Oh fuck... so much… please” He managed to say. Brian took his words for a yes and enclosed his cock in his mouth. He sucked forcefully, and then ran his tongue up the underside, causing more expletives from Ben. He swirled his tongue around the tip expertly, before raising his head and exposing the heated damp skin to the cold night air. Brian then plunged back down relentlessly, taking the whole length to the back of his throat. He started to work up a rhythm, gradually increasing the pace as Ben’s moans and pants grew steadier. He moved his free hand down to his own neglected cock, whilst his other gripped Ben’s hip tightly. Brian gripped his own length as he started pumping it in time with his mouth’s movements. He moaned slightly at his own self-abuse and sent vibrations tingling across Ben’s cock.
“Brian.. no.. I’m going to come..” Ben managed to pant as his hands wound through Brian’s hair. Brian lifted his head slowly, looking up to admire his work. Ben was lying back, cheeks flushed and with a fine film of sweat collecting across his body. Brian glided across him, pressing their lips together in a desperate kiss and letting Ben taste himself as their tongues twisted together. He ran his hands along his body, exploring every inch and pushing his hips down to meet Ben’s. They pulled away breathlessly as Brian continued to grind his hips, delighting at the feel of their throbbing cocks pushed together.
“Top or bottom?” Brian asked through heated breathing, his hard cock nudging Ben’s side. Ben hesitated for a moment.
“Well it’s just I.. I’ve never done this before” he admitted, his voice barely audible. Brian pulled away slightly and leant on one elbow.
“Oh..” he replied, trying to judge Ben’s reaction.
“But I want to” Ben said quickly, afraid that he had been misunderstood. “That is, if you want to..”
Brian smiled and wrapped his arms around Ben’s back.
“Of course I do. You can be top, don’t worry.” He said, placing a light kiss on Ben’s nose. He slid off him and quickly went in search of his jeans on the floor. He soon re-appeared on the bed holding a small packet and a tube. Ben didn’t have to guess what they contained.
Brian slid his legs either side of Ben’s thighs and leant forward so their mouths met for a hungry kiss. His hands blindly fiddled with the silvery foil packet, until he eventually managed to rip it open. He sat back up and slowly rolled the condom over Ben’s swollen cock, making sure to tease him the whole time. He then squeezed some lube onto his hands, and rubbed them together slightly to warm the gel. He smoothed it over Ben’s cock, making sure it was coated generously. Ben shuddered underneath him.
“Ooh it’s cold” he said, as the strange sensation made him tingle. Brian smiled, and rolled over onto his back. He pulled Ben over on top of him and parted his legs, bending them at the knee. Ben ran a hand tentatively up his thigh and to the base of his cock, licking his lips slowly. He eased his hips forward until the head of his cock was resting at Brian’s delicate pucker. He pushed forward slightly, extracting a loud cry from Brian.
“Are you ok?” he asked concernedly.
“Yeh it just always hurts a bit at first. Go slowly” Brian replied, sliding his arms around Ben’s back. Ben nodded, and pushed his cock gently in. He gasped at the overwhelming sensation of Brian’s hot tightness enveloping him, and continued until he slid the whole way in. Brian clenched his jaw tightly to stop himself succumbing to the burning pain, and dug his nails into Ben’s skin. Ben pulled his hips back until he was almost all the way out again, then thrust back in as he gained more confidence. Brian released a lengthy moan as the pain slowly ebbed away, to make room for the insurmountable pleasure that was building. He trailed his hands down his chest to relieve some of the pressure on his own cock, but Ben’s hand beat him to it. He ran his fingers teasingly up the length before grasping it firmly and moving in rhythm with his thrusting. Ben moaned as he gained speed, and lifted up Brian’s hips to adjust his angle slightly. He hit the wall of muscle and Brian’s body trembled violently under him, his pants and groans becoming louder now. As Ben hit the spot repeatedly, Brian’s mind abandoned all other thoughts and focused on the familiar sensation of someone completely filling him.
“Oh fuck, Ben” he managed to gasp as he dragged his fingers down his back. Ben’s hips continued to slam against his own as the sensation at the base of his spine built to dizzying heights. Just when Brian thought he could take no more, he came violently against Ben’s chest. The wonderful feeling of release washed over him and made all his muscles involuntarily spasm. His insides clenched against Ben’s cock as he thrust desperately, his own orgasm quickly following. A string of profanities escaped his mouth as he came, his seed spurting out only to be met by a latex wall. Ben was breathing heavily as he withdrew his spent cock carefully, and stood up to remove the rubber and to clean his chest off. Brian lay back, letting the post-shag bliss wash over him like a tide. Ben quickly rejoined him on the bed and they crawled under the covers, exhausted. Brian let out a long sigh of contentment as he rested his head on Ben’s shoulder, his arms snaking around his waist. They lay in silent contemplation for a while, just happy to let the silence fill the air.
As usual it was Brian who was the first to break the silence.
“Was that really your first time?” he asked, casually stroking the skin just above Ben’s hip.
“With a man, yes” Ben replied, breathing in the unique scent that was Brian’s. Brian turned slightly to look up at him.
“I would never have known. You were fucking fantastic” he said as he smiled slightly.
“So were you” Ben said, brushing a stray strand of hair from his eyes.
They were quiet for a moment, both just staring at each other.
“Are.. are you straight then?” Brian asked finally as his curiosity got the better of him.
“No I’m gay” Ben said, laughing softly.
“Ahh, it’s just sometimes you get the bi-curious guys… god they are such headfucks” Brian replied, recalling previous awkward one night stands.
“And you?” Ben asked, realising how little he really knew about Brian apart from the obvious facts.
“Me? I’m bi-sexual. I get the best of both worlds.” Brian grinned. “When did you realise you were gay?”
“Well I kind of had an idea when I was growing up, but I realised it properly when I was 19. It’s actually the reason Marguerite hates me” Ben admitted. Brian raised his head in interest and propped his chin on his elbow, indicating for Ben to continue.
“Well you know me and Clémantine have been friends for ages? We met each other at school when we were 15, and we’ve been best friends ever since. I knew as the years went by that I was different, because all the other guys were dating girls and I just wasn’t interested. I admitted this to Clémantine on my 19th birthday when we were both drunk, and she suggested I might be gay. So we got even more pissed and decided to sleep together for experiments sakes, to see how I felt. And we did, and I pretty much knew I wasn’t getting anything out of it. So I told her that, and she was fine because we are friends and it didn’t matter. But we ended up falling asleep in bed together and Marguerite walked in on us the next morning. Marguerite of course was overjoyed because she had always been convinced we would make the perfect couple. Despite our protests she wouldn’t believe it was a mistake. Somehow over the next week it became common knowledge around the village that I had ‘turned’ gay, and Marguerite seemed to take it very personally. She somehow assumed that her niece hadn’t been good enough for me and it had turned me gay. Total bollocks of course, but you know her, no-one can change her mind” Ben shook his head slightly as he finished.
“Is that really why she hates you?” Brian said, trying to keep a straight face but bursting into fits of giggles.
“Yeh, it’s fucking stupid I know” Ben admitted. Brian thought for a moment.
“19? So that’s quite a while you’ve known. I’m just trying to figure out how a lovely guy like you hasn’t been fighting off attention.” He said causing Ben to blush.
“I lived with my mother until I was 22, it’s pretty hard to have your first proper sexual encounter when that bitch is waiting for you to get home. And then the last two years since I moved out, I dunno. It just didn’t feel right having one night stands with people I was going to see everyday around the village. It sucks living in such a small community. I came close once, in some club with a guy I was too drunk to recognise. But I suppose my senses kicked in before it got too far.” Ben said, pausing to lean down and kiss Brian on the lips, “But you, you’re different. I can be myself around you, and I like that.”
Brian smiled and pulled himself closer to Ben’s chest.
“Me too, I don’t feel as though I have to play up to any media image when I’m with you.” He said, lightly stroking Ben’s sides.
“Media image?” Ben asked curiously, turning his head to look at Brian. Brian froze for a moment, realising his mistake and hurriedly willing his mind to come up with an excuse.
“Yeah, uhm, well I’m in the newspapers quite a bit back home, and they make me out to be something I’m not.” He replied truthfully.
“Oh. Are you quite a well known writer then?” Ben asked as he leant on his elbow.
“Fairly. I don’t think you would have heard of any of my work though.” Brian said, turning away to avoid his gaze. When he looked back Ben was still staring at him, entrancing him with his deep blue eyes.
“Try me” he said, smiling softly.
“Well er..” Brian stammered, “I can’t think, you’ve put me on the spot! How about what I’ve been working on this week?”
Ben nodded, so Brian cleared his throat and started to speak, letting the words roll off his tongue in no particular rhythm.
My guy has a tattoo ornamental
When he's frozen in space
Cut your eye far to me
A covered carcass is too elemental, caught underneath a subway
I don't want to be forgotten
I can't be alone so don't you dare leave me
It's like coming home to skin that has died
Human voices like a drum
And they're looking right through me
Scatter the ashes one more time for me, one more time for meHe came to a stop and glanced at Ben pensively, waiting for a response.
“Wow! That was lovely! You really have a way with words.” Ben said after he overcame his apparent speechlessness. Brian felt his cheeks burning bright red and buried his face in Ben’s side. He slid one leg delicately between the other man’s thighs and re-adjusted his arms so he was comfortable.
“It was for you..” he whispered, his voice muffled by warm flesh. But Ben didn’t hear, as he had already fallen asleep in the cosy embrace created by the duvet and Brian’s small form curled around him.
Chapter 5:
Monday 14th March
When Brian awoke, he felt a strangely familiar feeling slowly encroaching his mind. It was loneliness. He rolled over in an effort to banish it, but instead of finding a warm body he found cold sheets. He opened his eyes with a start to discover that he was alone in the bed. Brian tried to steady his breathing and calm himself down, but his mind kept jumping to awful conclusions. A glance at the clock beside him informed him that it was only 9 in the morning. A little early for someone to abandon him. He mentally slapped himself for being so insecure, and got out of bed, throwing on some boxers and a shirt. He stumbled through the hallway and tried to remember his way downstairs, praying at each step that he would hear Ben somewhere in the house. Brian finally reached the kitchen, but instead of finding Ben eating toast or drinking coffee as he wanted to see, there was only a note on the table. He nearly shredded the paper in his desperation as he snatched it up and read the text quickly. So quickly in fact that he didn’t take in half of what it had said, so he had to go back and read it slower.
Brian,
Sorry but I had to leave early to go to work. Feel free to have something to eat, and I finish at 2 if you want to hang around until then. Sorry that I didn’t wake you up, but you looked so peaceful that I couldn’t bring myself to disturb you.
Love Ben
P.S Last night was fantastic. Hope to repeat it again sometime soonBrian smiled at the note, and cursed his mind for panicking so rapidly. But he still couldn’t ignore the unsettling feeling lying in wait at the back of his thoughts. He decided to make the most of Ben's hospitality, and made himself some coffee and went for a wander around the house. Brian smiled to himself as he entered the bedroom and spotted his own clothes still strewn around the room from the previous night. He gathered them up, and then set about finding the bathroom so he could have a quick shower. He was washed and dressed by about 11, and was just gathering his items and putting them back in his bag when he noticed something. It was one of the silver necklaces he had bought in the market two days previously. Brian held it in his hand to admire it, and decided to take it to Ben at work in case he forgot again. Plus he really couldn’t wait until the afternoon to see him again.
Brian left the house quickly, making sure the front door was definitely shut, and set about finding his way back to the guest house. Which admittedly wasn’t that difficult as it was only down the road. He walked inside when he finally reached it, and as he turned to look at the front desk he nearly dropped his bag in shock. Marguerite and Claude were locked in a passionate embrace on top of the table, and seemed to be oblivious to Brian’s presence. He stood in shock for a few moments, before clearing his throat and looking away in embarrassment. Marguerite jumped off the table in fright, and tried to smooth her skirt down hastily. Claude sat up, his face redder than ever, but with a slightly pleased look about himself.
“Err.. err.. It’s not what it looks like” Marguerite stammered loudly, waving her hands about. Brian just stared at them, and started to back away slowly.
“Don’t.. don’t tell Clémantine” she said.
“I won’t mention this if you are nice to Ben” Brian reasoned, still moving carefully towards the staircase. Marguerite looked strained as she tried to accept the offer.
“Ok ok, I’ll be nice to him. But you never saw this right?” she replied, giving in.
“Saw what?” Brian said, winking and quickly climbing up the staircase.
Brian threw his bag onto his bed and smiled. He intended to use Marguerite’s newfound appreciation for Ben to his advantage, and was already planning to have him stay that night. He emptied the contents of his bag out, and remembered his plan to give the necklace to Ben, and so set off back downstairs and outside.
He walked happily along in the cool breeze, humming a wordless tune to himself and letting his mind wander to the lyrics he was writing. Brian finally came to a stop at the café and walked inside, looking around for Ben. He was no-where to be seen so he walked towards the back counter.
“Excuse me, is Ben there?” he asked a man with a large scary looking moustache.
“No. He left about an hour ago with a woman. Apparently there were some urgent family problems he had to attend to.” The man replied helpfully, and turned back to cleaning the counter surface.
Brian walked back out of the café feeling confused. If the matter was urgent, surely Ben would have contacted him? He decided to go and find Clémantine, as she obviously knew a lot about Ben’s family.
Brian walked down the road a little quicker than usual in his haste to find out what was going on. He stepped inside the bakery door and was greeted by Clémantine’s smiling, friendly face. She waved her welcome and he quickly approached the counter. Her features fell though as she saw Brian’s concerned expression.
“Hey Bri, what’s the matter? Didn’t last night go very well?” she asked, ushering Brian to sit down.
“Yeh yeh it went fine” Brian said, waving his arms as though to dispose of the question.
“So what’s wrong?” Clémantine asked, starting to sound worried.
“Well, it’s just.. I went to see Ben this morning at work. But he wasn’t there..” Brian replied, unsure of how to continue without sounding like a paranoid freak. Clémantine’s piercing eyes wordlessly begged him to carry on.
“The man in the café said there had been some family problems, and he had left with a woman..” Brian finally said quietly, not quite knowing what to make of it all. Clémantine nodded and sat in silent contemplation, until realisation seemed to dawn on her.
“Oh… oh shit” she said, quickly getting up off her chair and practically running out the back to get her coat and bag. Brian felt a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He hurriedly stood up and watched as Clémantine rushed around the shop, gathering her items.
“Not again…. Not fucking again…” she muttered to herself as she pried her mobile phone out of the bottom of her bag.
“What? Clémantine please, tell me what’s wrong?” Brian asked, clutching her arm and searching her face for any clues.
“I can’t Bri.. I have to go and find Ben. Please, just go back to the guesthouse and don’t worry. I’ll contact you later.” She said, heading for the door and holding it open, waiting for Brian to follow. Brian stepped outside and watched as she locked the door, a thousand questions reeling through his mind. He grabbed her hand and she turned to face him.
“I’m worried Clém, don’t let anything happen to him..” he said quietly, watching her blank expression.
“Don’t worry, it will be ok. Really it will. I wish I could explain but I don’t have time.” Clémantine replied, recognising Brian’s anguish and trying to calm him as much as possible. She leant forward and kissed him on the cheek, before turning quickly and briskly walking down the street. Brian stood in the alone in the cold for what seemed like forever; time blurring away from reality as his imagination depicted horrible scenarios. He hugged his arms around his small frame, the wind seeming fiercer and the harsh morning light stinging his eyes. He eventually moved, slowly and without thinking where he was going. His mind was still somewhere else. Brian found himself back at the guesthouse after a while and crept inside, thankful of the warmth. He managed to get to his room and fell onto the bed. The lost feeling from before had now been replaced by a gnawing sensation of helplessness, which was growing in the pit of his stomach.
In an effort to not think about what was happening, Brian reached over for his notepad and started to write. Not that it really helped. All the words seemed to lead towards despair and worthlessness. He was just sitting in silence, pen poised above the paper when a shrill ringing blasted through the room. Brian jumped and grabbed his bag, hurriedly pulling out his mobile phone. He answered it hastily without bothering to check the called ID displayed.
“Hello?” came Stef’s confused voice, and Brian couldn’t stop his hope from sinking back down.
“Oh, hey Stef” he replied, the disappointment obviously showing through in his voice.
“Bri? Are you ok?” Stef asked, recognising when something was wrong with his friend. Brian considered lying for a moment and trying to pretend everything was all right, but he couldn’t. He needed comfort and Stef was the best option.
“No… I’m not” he replied quietly.
“What’s the matter?” Stef said, his concern morphing into alarm, “Are you hurt? Ill?”
“No, it’s not me.” Brian interrupted him, “It’s just.. I’ve met someone. And he’s lovely and everything was going well, but there’s something wrong with him and I don’t know what.”
“What do you mean, something wrong?” Stef asked.
“Well I went to see him at work this morning, but he wasn’t there. So I went to ask Clémantine..” Brian started to explain.
“Clémantine?” Stef queried.
“She’s Ben’s best friend. So I told her and she went mad, grabbed her phone and ran out of the shop, telling me not to worry. Which of course I am.” Brian finished quietly.
“Oh.. do you have any idea what’s wrong?” Stef asked.
“No. I feel so helpless..” Brian confessed.
“Shh it will be ok. I don’t suppose there’s much you can do to help anyway?” Stef’s soothing voice tried to comfort him.
“No I suppose not. God I hope he’s ok.” Brian said, dropping the pen onto the bed.
“Wow it sounds like you really like this guy..” Stefan said as his tone changed slightly.
“I do Stef. In the short time I’ve known him, we have got so close.” Brian replied, trying not to think about Ben but hopelessly failing.
“Do you really think it’s a good idea to get that close? I mean what happens when you come home?” Stef said warily.
“I’ve been trying to not think about that..” Brian said.
“Well you will have to in the end. I mean you will come home eventually, and we have all found out the hard way that long distance relationships don’t work.” Stef replied, but Brian stayed quiet.
“Brian? You are coming home?” Stef asked, his voice getting more insistent.
“I.. don’t know..” Brian whispered finally breaking the silence.
“No, don’t even fucking think about it. We need you here, you’re part of the band. You’re really going to throw that all away for some pretty fuck? For fucks sake don’t be so selfish Brian.” Stef said angrily as his temper started to flare.
“I’m not Stef. Things have changed, and I don’t want to fuck them up..” Brian tried to reason with him.
“No Brian. It seems you have changed, and you need to get your fucking priorities right. I think dumping this Ben will be for the best.” Stef said loudly. Brian stared at the phone in his hand. He thought that Stef of all people would understand, but it seemed not. He wordlessly pressed the off button and laid the phone on his bed, gazing at it.
Minutes, maybe hours passed as Brian lay there wordlessly, the room now infused with a melancholic feel. He stared at the phone willing it to ring, but it didn’t. He was still brooding over what Stef had said to him. What would happen when he had to go home? He couldn’t very well take Ben with him, as he didn’t know the truth about Brian’s real occupation. And he didn’t think that Ben would be very pleased if Brian confessed he had been lying for all this time. Which left two possibilities, staying in Laitue Bécote or leaving Ben behind and the latter he didn’t even want to think about. So the option of staying in France was left. What worried Brian the most is that he was seriously considering it, leaving the people he loved back in England and abandoning the career he adored. He stared at the ceiling; his mind aching from too much thinking and just hoping a solution would fall out of thin air. But no divine inspiration came to him. Instead his phone rang. Brian grabbed it quickly and answered it.
“Hello?” He said quickly.
“Brian, it’s Clémantine. I’m back now.” She answered, her voice not revealing anything.
“Is he ok?” Brian blurted out in his desperation.
“Yes he’s fine now” Clémantine replied shortly, and Brian could just make out Ben’s voice in the background.
“Can I speak to him?” Brian asked. There was a lengthy pause.
“Um.. Ben doesn’t really want to talk to anyone right now” she replied quietly.
“But why? What was wrong with him?” Brian said, with a mixture of confusion and dread.
“It… it’s not really my place to tell you..” Clémantine said. Brian chewed on his bottom lip, things didn’t sound good.
“You’re at home right?” he asked finally.
“Yes, why?” Clémantine queried, but Brian had already hung up the phone. He quickly grabbed his bag and was out of the guesthouse and walking up the road in no time. It wasn’t as difficult to find Clémantine’s house this time, as he vaguely remembered the way from before. Before long he was standing in front of the red door again, and knocked quite forcefully on it. Clémantine opened the door, looking as though she had been expecting him.
“I want to see Ben.” Brian stated simply, his eyes pleading with Clémantine.
“He doesn’t want you to see him like this..” she replied, not looking at Brian.
“Please Clémantine. I’m not leaving until I see him.” He said defiantly. She shook her head sadly.
“I…” but her words were cut short by Ben appearing behind her.
“It’s ok Clém, I’ll speak to him. He has to see sooner or later” he said quietly to her. Brian tried to see him, but his view was obscured by Clémantine.
“Are you sure?” She asked, holding his arm comfortingly.
“Yeh I’ll be fine” Ben replied and smiled at her as she walked back into the living room. He stepped forwards onto the doorstep, and Brian gasped in shock at the sight in front of him.
There was a large cut across one of Ben’s cheeks, and his nose was swollen and possibly broken. A large purplish bruise was beginning to form around his eye and there were more bruises trailing down his neck and below his collar. Brian stared for a second, before launching forward and wrapping his arms around Ben, burying his face in his chest. Ben barely hugged him back.
“What happened? Who did this? Are you ok?” he asked, his voice muffled slightly. Brian stepped back feeling shocked and confused, as Ben didn’t answer.
“I think maybe you should come inside..” Ben said quietly, looking at the floor.
Brian followed Ben anxiously inside the door, and settled on the edge of the sofa. Clémantine was hovering nervously with fresh coffee to hand. She set them down on the table and went to wait in the kitchen, giving the two men some privacy. Ben folded his hands across his lap and looked at the table, the floor, the wall, anything to avoid Brian's eye.
"We.. need to talk Bri" he said quietly.
"Of course we do. You disappear from work and then turn up looking like this. What happened?" Brian replied, the words tumbling out of his mouth. Ben stopped and looked up at him.
"No. We don't need to worry about me... it's us. I don't think it's a good idea for us to see each other.." he said, his eyes blank and unrevealing.
"What?" Brian said, sounding shocked. "I thought things were going well?"
"I.. can't. Not now" Ben replied.
"But why?" Brian said as he felt his resolve waver.
"I don't want you to get hurt." Ben replied simply. He started to play with the spoon in his coffee mug.
"This is about whoever did this to you? Who was it Ben? Please?" Brian said, slightly regaining his determination. He shifted a bit closer to Ben.
"I can't Bri.. you won't understand.." he said as his voice started to tremble.
"You won't know if you never tell me.." Brian tried to reason, sliding his arm around Ben's shoulder.
"But I can't tell you... you would think I'm weak, pitiful.." Ben replied, his voice barely a whisper.
"I could never think that of you. If anyone is weak it's me, for not helping Clémantine when I thought you were in trouble.. for not standing up to my friends.." Brian said as he tightened his grip. Ben didn't answer. Instead he just continued to stare at the floor between his feet.
"I'm worried about you Ben. I have been all afternoon." Brian said, moving his head to rest on Ben's shoulder. The brown hair slightly brushing his cheek.
"You have?" the quiet reply sounded surprised.
"Of course. And I'm not going until I find out what happened. Who was it?" Brian pleaded again. Ben was silent for a moment, and then drew a breath.
"It was him.." he said quietly. "And her. They always do this, and I never stop them. Because I am too weak. I just sit back and let it happen"
Brian brushed some hair out of Ben's face, and was shocked to find silent tears rolling down his face.
"They did it when they found out. Thought they could stamp the evil out of me. I felt so rejected and abnormal, but I put up with it because I believed it when they told me I was evil. That I was a sin." Ben continued muttering.
"Imagine the look on my mothers face, when she found out her only son was never going to give her a grandchild. That when he loved people it was a crime against god. And my father was quite happy to carry out her punishment. Satisfied in his drunken state that he was doing the world some good." Ben finished, still staring at the ground. Brian was silent for a while, shocked at the confession he had just heard.
"See? You think I'm weak. You don't want to talk to me anymore. I understand" Ben said softly, trying to shrug off Brian's embrace.
"I don't think you're weak. Not at all. I.. I can't see how anyone could do that to you.." Brian replied as he attempted to voice his emotions. He held on tighter to Ben, trying to reassure him.
"Because they are right. I am evil. I am dirty" Ben said as fresh tears dampened the existing trails down his cheeks.
"No you're not." Brian replied quickly, moving his head so he was facing Ben. "You are beautiful, and who you choose to love is not wrong. They are the ones who are wrong for trying to punish you."
Ben hesitated for a moment and then leaned forward into Brian's chest, allowing himself to be wrapped in his arms.
"I won't let them touch you again. Me or Clémantine." Brian said, gently stroking Ben's back.
"Thank you for sticking with me" Ben said, as he sat up slightly. He moved towards Brian and kissed him softly on the lips. Clémantine coughed quietly from the kitchen doorway, and came and sat down the other side of Ben.
"It's true you know. We won't let anything happen to you" she said, taking Ben's hand and smiling. Ben nodded. He didn't need to speak, none of them did. They just sat in silent contentment, realising they had become a whole lot closer in the space of an hour.
Ben looked up from the warmth of Brian's lap, which is where he had been nestled for a good hour, content to let his lover stroke his hair. Clémantine had decided she was hungry and had gone in search of food in her kitchen. She re-appeared with a sullen face, pouting slightly.
"Nothing. I have nothing good to eat" she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air.
“Well I have food at my place.. but….” Ben trailed off nervously.
“But what?” Brian asked.
“I don’t want to go home. They can find me there..” Ben replied quietly, as Brian gently stroked his face.
“Don’t worry. We can go to the guesthouse. They can’t get you there, and Marguerite has loads of food.” Brian said comfortingly.
“But Marguerite hates me?” Ben said, looking thoroughly confused.
“No she doesn’t. We have an understanding now” Brian replied as he smiled slightly.
“How did you manage that one?” Clémantine interrupted curiously.
“Ahh.. well lets just say there was an incident between her and Claude that I’m not meant to mention to you..” Brian replied, his eyes twinkling mischievously. Clémantine looked furious, as the words seemed to click in her head.
“I’m going to kill her! Letting that scumbag back again!” she roared menacingly to the wall.
“Are you sure it will be ok with Marguerite?” Ben asked quietly, staring at Brian.
“I’m sure. We just need to keep Clém away from poor Claude” Brian replied, nodding towards Clémantine who was now pacing the room madly. Ben giggled slightly and they set about the task of finding various items and getting ready to leave.
As they walked back to the guesthouse, Brian clasped Ben’s hand tightly, smiling as he listened to Clémantine’s muttering.
“I don’t see why you are so against Claude and Marguerite. After today I thought we all proved that people should be able to love who they want?” Brian asked.
“Because he’s a liar and a cheat and he can’t be trusted.” Clémantine stated angrily.
“Well he seems like an all right bloke to me” Brian replied, remembering Claude’s views on Ben. “And I’m sure Marguerite would be able to make a decent man of him. She could make a decent man out of anyone!”
Clémantine just snorted in reply.
“Won’t you at least give him one more chance?” Brian asked, not really wanting to have a major conflict occurring in his living quarters that night.
“Ok, ok. Just for tonight. I’ll be civil.” Clémantine said eventually, more to stop Brian from pestering her than anything else. Brian made a mental note that he intended to hold her to that promise.
They arrived back at the guesthouse and stepped quickly inside, glad of the warmth. Marguerite came walking in and smiled at the sight of Brian, but then froze as she saw Ben behind him. She studied him carefully and her initial expression of annoyance soon melted into concern.
“Oh dear lord, what happened to your face?” she asked, holding Ben’s arm and fussing like a mother.
“Well there are some very homophobic twats in this village” Brian stated carefully. Marguerite clucked disapprovingly and carried on her inspection of Ben’s wounds.
“Have you eaten? We had better get some food down you. If you don’t eat after a shock it can cause fainting and all sorts of problems..” Marguerite stated as she led Ben out of the reception and into the dining room. Brian and Clémantine exchanged curious glances, and then followed the pair wordlessly. Marguerite had seated Ben at a table by the fireplace and had hurried off into the kitchen to cook something for them. Brian and Clémantine joined him and stared in the direction of Marguerite.
“Wow.. guess she’s taken pity on you” Brian said finally.
“Yeah. She told me anytime I’m in trouble to just stay here” Ben replied, smiling shyly.
“Well I’m glad she’s finally realised what a nice guy you are.” Clémantine said. “Seriously Brian, how do you do it? I’ve been trying nearly my whole life!”
“Ahh. Talent” Brian replied grinning.
They sat in silence, enjoying their meal of hot thick soup with freshly baked rolls. No-one stopping to say a word until all the plates were clean.
“Wow, Marguerite. That was delicious” Ben said as she came to clean the dishes away.
“Thank you Ben. Are you feeling better now?” she replied, beaming at him.
“Much, thank you” Ben said as she walked away. He turned as he heard Clémantine making a gagging noise.
“Oh come on, stop sucking up to my aunt! Just because she likes you now it doesn’t mean you have to over do it!” Clémantine joked as Brian started laughing. Ben pouted slightly and crossed him arms.
“I’m not sucking up. That was really good soup” he replied stubbornly, but with a grin on his face.
“And do you know what would finish the soup off perfectly?” Brian asked, “Booze!”
He jumped to his feet and went to hunt in the kitchen, soon returning with a few bottles of wine. The other two smiled broadly and declared that it was an excellent plan.
The trio inevitably found themselves idly chatting in front of the fireplace, sitting on the same two armchairs as the night Brian had met Clémantine. Brian was lounging on Ben’s lap, leaving Clémantine with a chair to herself.
“And then Steve fell on his arse in the snow, still convinced he was a panda!” Brian laughed, finishing off another drunken story about his friends back home. Clémantine giggled into her wine and declared to the other two that she was pissed.
“Tell us something we don’t know dear” Ben said, winking at her. Brian gave a small yawn and cuddled closer to Ben’s chest, his hand still clutching his wine glass. Ben watched him huddled there peacefully for a moment, before leaning down to place a light kiss on his hair.
“Aww. Does someone want to go to bed now?” Ben asked softly.
“mmhmm” came the quiet reply from Brian’s mouth somewhere below him.
“Awwww you two are so fucking cute! Honestly!” Clémantine beamed from her armchair as she swung her hands around, spilling wine everywhere. Ben carefully got to his feet and managed to stand Brian up, wrapping his arms around his waist and shoulder. He turned to look at Clémantine questioningly.
“I’ll be off to bed in a minute. Just finishing this off” Clémantine said quietly as she indicated towards her glass. Ben nodded and set off towards the door with a half asleep Brian hanging from his waist. He turned just before he got there.
“And Clémantine. Thank you. Without you I wouldn’t be here now” he said softly.
“Don’t mention it. I’m sure you will save my life sometime in the future” Clémantine replied. Ben shuffled out of the door with some difficulty, smiling as he appreciated his life for the first time in ages.
By the time they had arrived at their room, Brian seemed to have woken up slightly and had stumbled into the bathroom mumbling something about taking his makeup off. Ben smiled and set about the arduous task of removing his clothes. This was slightly more than difficult, as they had all managed to consume a great deal of wine. He eventually managed and left his clothes in a small pile by the side of the bed. Ben crept under the bed covers, glad of their warmth, and settled his head on the pillow. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, but was interrupted by Brian knocking something off the bedside table. He opened them again grudgingly and saw Brian already shirtless, with his jeans undone and a sweet smile plastered on his face.
“Knocked the alarm clock over by mistake.” he explained, as he carefully stepped out of his jeans and boxers. Ben smiled back and patted the bed next to him invitingly. Brian gratefully slid under the covers beside him and within seconds had wrapped his body around Bens. He slowly twisted his arms around Ben’s neck, pulling him close. Their lips met briefly for a languid kiss, with their tongues gently caressing each other. A small sigh escaped Brian’s mouth as one hand came to rest on Ben’s chest. He fidgeted slightly whilst trying to find a comfortable position, before laying his head on Ben’s shoulder.
“Night” he whispered, his warm breath dancing across the other’s skin.
“Night” the sentiment was returned as they both fell into a comfortable hazy sleep.
Chapter 6:
Tuesday 15th March
The bright, late morning sunlight had gradually filtered through the curtains of the guesthouse, and now seemed intent on rousing its sleeping occupants. Brian opened his eyes only to find himself blinded, and immediately shut them again. He groaned slightly as he clutched his head, and decided that drinking wine just succeeded in giving him really bad hangovers. He rolled over and collided with a warm body next to him. This caused Brian to open his eyes again, and he grinned at the sight of the perfect, sleeping figure in front of him. He reached forward and tentatively pressed his lips to Ben’s, deepening the kiss as he saw his eyes flick open. Ben smiled and effortlessly pulled Brian’s small frame on top of him. He pushed his tongue out to meet Brian’s and they embroiled themselves in the kiss, only pulling apart when the need to breath became apparent. Brian gasped for air slightly and ground his hips teasingly, so Ben retaliated by lightly sucking on his bottom lip and running his fingers over the naked form sat astride him. He hooked his fingers around Brian’s neck to bring him down for another bruising kiss and pushed his hips upwards. He felt the familiar feeling of blood rushing to his groin and growled softly as he realised he was having the same effect on Brian. Ben arched his back slightly as Brian ran his fingers over his chest, before continuing tantalisingly towards his cock.
Brian suddenly sat up and slid off the bed, leaving Ben in a state of shock, disbelief and obviously discomfort. He turned to Brian for an explanation and was met by a raised eyebrow and a single worded answer.
“Shower”
Ben watched in astonishment as Brian’s nude figure wandered into the bathroom. He heard the rush of water, and climbed out of the warm covers to follow it. The bathroom was slowly filling up with steam when he entered and hot, wet hands grasped his waist and pulled him into the cubicle. Arms trailed around his neck and pulled him close to Brian’s body, and they kissed hungrily, delighting in the feel of the hot water cascading over their flushed skin. Ben let out a low moan as he pinned Brian to the wall and attached his lips to his neck. His hands trailed over the smaller man’s stomach and gripped his cock with an urgent need. He started to stroke with a slow rhythm and thrust his own hips forward desperately. Brian’s hands flitted across his neck and tilted his chin upwards for a kiss. He let one hand play gently across Ben’s chest, working its way down to his swollen cock. He ran his thumb over the head, trailing his fingers lightly down the length and extracting a gasp from Ben. They stood pumping each other’s cocks in an identical rhythm, the pre-cum and water slicking their movements. Brian pressed his lips hungrily against Ben’s again, letting his tongue entwine his partners.
“Oh god… fuck me.. please” Brian gasped as they broke away, the water trickling over his face and making him seem irresistible to Ben. He twisted his arms tightly around Ben’s neck, and wrapped his legs around his waist. Ben groaned softly as he positioned his cock at Brian’s entrance, and then thrust inside him forcefully. Brian threw his head back against the cool tiles as Ben slowly increased his speed, his hand still stroking Brian’s length.
“Oh fuck Ben, faster” Brian moaned as their hips brutally collided, splashing the hot water. He held on firmly as his body started to shiver in anticipation of release and pushed his mouth towards Ben’s. Ben moaned as he pounded into Brian’s tight arse and grasped his hip, lifting him up slightly in order to hit his prostate. He thrust harder as he felt himself coming close to the edge and wrapped his hand more tightly around Brian’s cock. Brian’s pants and moans grew louder as he felt the exhilaration building inside of him, and with a loud cry he came across his stomach. Ben gave a final push as he came too, gripping Brian’s shoulders and pulling him close as their breathing subsided. Brian slid off him carefully, and stood on shaky legs whilst enclosing his mouth around Ben’s. They let the water flow over them, cleaning away any traces of cum, before washing each other gently.
Ben sat on the bed and gazed around the room. Brian was in the bathroom, fixing his makeup, and Ben smiled to himself as he heard him singing into the mirror. He lay back on the bed, stretched out and stared up at the ceiling. Things were going so well, he could hardly believe it. He shifted slightly as he felt his mobile phone vibrating in his back pocket, and slowly pulled it out and answered it.
Brian walked out of the bathroom just as Ben was finishing the phonecall, and sat on the bed next to him.
"Who was that sweety?" he asked, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead.
"Oh it was Clémantine. A few of our friends are down in the village tonight, and she wondered if we would like to go to the pub with them later." Ben replied.
"Yeh that would be nice." Brian said as he rummaged through his bag, obviously looking for something. "What are we doing today then?"
"Ahh I have something nice planned for us.." Ben said mysteriously, causing Brian to look up.
"Ooh what?" he asked, clutching something in his hand as he pulled Ben up into a sitting position.
"It's a surprise" Ben replied infuriatingly, "What's in your hand?"
"I won't show you unless you tell me where we're going" Brian said with a smirk, knowing that Ben couldn't stand surprises either.
"Ahh fine. Show me first, then I'll tell you" Ben tried to compromise.
"But what if you don't tell me?" Brian pouted.
"Then you'll have to punish me" Ben replied with a wink.
"Fair enough.." Brian said, shyly pushing a small object into Ben's palm. Ben ran his thumb over the metallic indentations, lost in thought for a while.
"I er.. bought it from the market on Saturday.. I just thought of you.." Brian explained quietly. A small smile crossed Ben's face as he stared at the pendant.
"You bought this for me?" he asked, looking up at Brian.
"Yeh.. I have the same one" Brian confessed as he showed the pendant around his neck. Ben smiled at him, and leant forward to kiss him softly. He sat still while Brian hooked the necklace clasp around his neck, and sat back to admire it.
"Thank you" Ben said quietly, wrapping his arm around Brian's back. Brian reached out to stroke his cheek, running his fingers delicately over the torn and bruised skin.
"It's healing quite well.." he said, his fingers trailing across Ben's lips.
"Mmm" Ben mumbled as he kissed the fingertips. Brian let his eyes fall shut as Ben's tongue darted out to moisten the pink flesh. He bit his lip and felt his cock twitch in jealousy over what Ben's tongue was currently doing to his fingers. It took all his self-restraint to open his eyes and force words out of his mouth.
"No stop trying to distract me!" Brian giggled, "Where are we going today?"
"Oh.. but I'd much rather be punished.." Ben winked.
"That can come later.." Brian replied, flicking his tongue across his lips, "Now come on, you know I hate surprises"
"We're going to the beach" Ben said as he beamed broadly.
"Oh excellent! I love the beach!" Brian said, "But will it be warm enough?"
"Yup, I checked the weather forecast. It's going to be a lovely sunny day today" Ben answered and stood up, stretching. Brian grinned at him, and went over to his suitcase to find his towel and shorts.
Half an hour later and they were just getting out of the taxi at Ste Maxime. Just as Ben had predicted, the sun was shining brightly and the temperature had seemed to double. They strolled along the warm, sandy beach, which was relatively quiet given it wasn't tourist season yet. Brian managed to find a secluded spot set a bit back from the shoreline, and laid out his towel. Ben set down the bag on the sand next to it and sat down beside Brian. He pulled his shirt off and rummaged around in the bag for the suncream.
"Can you rub cream onto my back for me?" he asked, glancing at Brian's revealed chest.
"Sure, turn around" Brian replied, as he knelt behind Ben and started rubbing the cool cream into his burning skin. Ben sighed slightly as Brian's hands kneaded his shoulders, and he leant backwards. Brian slid his arms round his chest, pulling him closer, and resting his chin on Ben's shoulder. He sucked on the soft skin below his ear, flicking his tongue out to tease the skin. He trailed small kisses across his jawline, before finding his lips and kissing him properly. When they broke away, Ben's skin was flushed and a faint smile was playing across his lips. He stood up, taking Brian's hand in his own.
"Come on, lets go in the water" he said as he pulled Brian to his feet.
“Just when it was getting fun..” Brian pouted, but allowed himself to be pulled up. Ben didn't seem to hear though, as he was already making his way to the waters edge. He started to wade in, and was up to his waist before he turned back. He was surprised to see Brian still standing on the shoreline, and looking quite apprehensive about entering the water.
“You're not scared are you?” Ben called back.
“Not at all..” Brian replied, looking cautiously at the water. He dipped one toe apprehensively in and quickly withdrew it.
“Fuck the waters cold” he said, causing Ben to grin broadly.
“Of course it is, you'll get used to it” he replied. Brian seemed to hesitate before stepping in the water. He shuddered as the cool liquid flowed around his skin, but moved determinedly out to join Ben. He came to a halt as the water rose above his chest though, and nervously called after Ben.
“Uhm.. Ben” he said. Ben stopped and turned to look back at him again.
“I'm shorter than you, you know..” he said, indicating towards the water level.
“So swim over here then, its really nice out here. The water is really clear.” Ben smiled back at him, but Brian didn't reply. Instead he just looked nervously at the water around him.
“You can swim can't you?” Ben asked as his curiosity got the better of him.
“Uhm..” Brian replied, playing with his fingernails.
“You can't? Aww why didn't you say something before?” Ben said in a slightly motherly voice and swam back over to Brian.
“Because I didn't want you to think I was stupid..” Brian replied quietly. Ben smiled and wrapped his arms around the smaller man.
“I would never think that of you. Look, we'll stay here in the shallower water” he said as Brian looked up at him and smiled back.
“Thanks” he said quietly as he twisted his arms delicately around Ben’s neck and leant upwards so their lips met. Their tongues gently moved together in contentment, before lust got the better of them and took over. Brian pushed his hips forward to let Ben know that their earlier sun cream antics had left him wanting more, and Ben grinned in response, lightly sucking on his lovers bottom lip as he teasingly trailed his fingers across his back. The cool water lapping around them and the warm sun on their bare skin created a perfect setting, and Brian couldn’t help but let out a sigh of contentment as they broke away. It felt like something out of a tacky romance film, but the atmosphere was making him feel soppy and loved. Brian almost considered cocking his leg up behind him and wearing a floral summer dress, although he wasn’t too sure how Ben would react to that.
“What are you smiling at?” Ben asked, his voice cutting through Brian’s absent-minded daydreams. He realised he must have been lost in thought with a cheesy soap opera grin stuck on his face.
“Oh nothing.. just feeling happy” Brian replied, unable to tear the smile from his face.
“Seems like your sarcasm has melted in the warm weather. Turned soppy on me now have you?” Ben teased, his fingers darting menacingly close to Brian’s ribs.
“Me? Soppy? Never!” Brian protested feebly, splashing some water in Ben’s direction to distract from the imminent tickling attack.
“Oh? Playing dirty are we now?” Ben asked, raising an eyebrow. Brian tried to look innocent, and failed hopelessly as his happy mood caused a loud burst of infectious laughter. Ben took that as his cue and started splashing Brian relentlessly, which caused some extremely girly squeals from him. He giggled as he watched Brian helplessly flailing around and attempting to splash him back, whilst trying to prevent water getting in his eyes.
Brian opened his eyes cautiously when he realised the attack had stopped, and was met by the sight of a clear ocean. And Ben was no-where to be seen. He turned around, thinking that maybe Ben was playing a trick and hiding, but after scanning every direction he started to get worried. The water seemed cold and foreboding now he was on his own, and he was concerned that something had happened to Ben. His ears picked up a slight sound behind him that might have been a splash, and he turned quickly, hoping for something. As Brian span around, something leapt out of no-where and collided heavily with him, knocking him underwater. He spluttered and coughed as strong arms pulled him to the surface and intense blue eyes met his gaze.
“Oh shit Brian, are you ok?” Ben asked with concern.
“Yeh I’m fucking fine. Just been nearly drowned by my arse of a boyfriend who thought it would be funny to scare me shitless. Just great” Brian commented as he spat out some seawater. Ben grinned as he put his arm around him and they started to walk back out of the water and onto the beach.
“Well nice to see the sarcasms back.” Ben smiled before remembering another detail, “And did you just call me your boyfriend?”
“Well yeh.. I mean… if that’s not alright I can..” Brian stammered quietly, but Ben turned him around so they were facing.
“It’s fine, more than fine actually.” Ben smiled back, “You know, I’m starting to like soppy Brian”
“Yeh well don’t get used to it, I prefer my sarcasm much more thank you” Brian winked at him. “Now lets get started on the tans. Can’t have a sunny day on the beach without sunbathing”
Brian and Ben spent the next few hours enjoying the good weather and managing to burn their necks in the process. They decided to leave at about five, just as a cold wind started blowing in from the ocean. Brian shivered slightly and pulled a shirt on, being careful to not irritate his sunburnt skin. Ben wrapped an arm around his waist and they walked off the beach and back into the town.
“Which friends are we meeting with tonight?” Brian asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
“Uhm, Antoine and Pascal” Ben replied. Brian thought for a moment, carefully processing the names in his mind.
“They sound nice” he concluded, earning a puzzled look from Ben.
“But I’ve only told you their names?” Ben said eventually as he stared at the smaller man.
“Yes but their names sound nice” Brian explained. Ben couldn’t help but laugh and ran his fingers through Brian’s hair, messing it up slightly. Brian pouted up at him, but the good mood was infectious and they were soon both smiling again.
They caught a taxi back to Laitue Bécote and inevitably found themselves back at the guesthouse. Brian had just silently assumed that Ben would prefer to stay with him for the while, as he still seemed a bit tense about returning to his own house. He also enjoyed having Ben stay with him. It was nice to fall asleep next to a warm body, and to wake up to a smile and a kiss. Which was something he hadn’t experienced for a long time since his last girlfriend.
Ben laughed lightly to himself as he stretched out on the bed. He had found himself waiting for Brian to finish in the bathroom for the second time that day and had eventually become bored and taken to lounging around the room. He twiddled his fingers and started playing absentmindedly with the edge of the bed sheets.
“Brian? Are you going to be much longer?” he called out as his boredom got the better of him.
“Nearly done..” Came the slightly muffled reply from the bathroom.
“You’ve been in there for nearly an hour, what can take this long?” Ben protested, the bed sheets no longer holding his attention.
“I want to look good for your friends.” Brian replied quietly, as he finally emerged through the doorway. Ben smiled and sat up slightly, wrapping his arms around Brian’s waist and pulling him down onto the bed.
“They will love you, you look gorgeous” he said, accentuating his comment with a kiss on his lips. Brian smiled back and tried to deepen it, his own tongue vainly searching out Ben’s and his hands sliding around his neck. Ben allowed himself to give in for a few seconds before pulling away grudgingly.
“Come on, I need to get home before we go to the pub” he explained as Brian’s pout turned into a frown.
“Home? Are you sure?” Brian asked, rubbing his hand on his back.
“Yeh.. I think. Well I need to get some new clothes anyway. I can’t stay in these all week.” Ben replied as he stood up and stretched slightly. Brian nodded in agreement and followed him out of the door and onto the landing.
“Well I’ll be with you. I can protect you if needs be” he laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood. Ben just smiled slightly, and they continued downstairs.
It hadn’t been as bad as Ben had expected. He had been a bit nervous when he first stepped through the door, and half imagined something waiting in the shadows to jump out at him. But Brian’s hand on his arm and his warm presence next to him had comforted Ben a lot. He had a quick look around the house, checking his answer phone and his post, before grabbing some clothes for the stay at the guesthouse.
Now, on his way to the pub with Brian, going back to house didn’t seem as daunting as it did before. He felt safe in the company of someone else, despite the fact that Brian was barely 5ft 6 and would probably be useless in the face of a prospective attacker. He tightened his hold around Brian’s waist in a sort of silent appreciation as they walked through the wooden doors and into the warm atmosphere of the pub. Ben glanced around briefly, before spotting his three friends already sat in a table in the corner. He strode over with a grin on his face, and sat down after greeting them. Clémantine waved Brian over towards her and gave him a hug. He pulled up a seat between her and Ben, and smiled as Ben quickly introduced them all.
“Guys, this is Brian. Brian, this is Antoine and Pascal” he said, indicating to each person. Brian nodded his greetings and sat back, amused as the three friends settled into a lively conversation.
After a short while, Brian realised that Antoine was staring at him in a curious way. It made him nervous as he felt his eyes boring into the side of his head. He shifted his chair slightly closer to Ben’s and tried to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling. Once the conversation had died down though, Antoine spoke, voicing his question in Brian’s direction.
“You look familiar.. I’m sure I’ve seen you somewhere before. But I can’t figure out where” he said. Brian was quiet for a moment, unsure of what to say incase it revealed his true identity to Ben.
“Well he’s quite a famous writer in England, so maybe you’ve seen him in the newspapers before?” Ben replied, resting his hand on Brian’s knee and smiling at him. Brian just nodded weakly in agreement as Antoine seemed to think for a moment.
“Yeh that’s probably it. Got yourself a rich man then Ben? Are you going to become a pampered toyboy now?” he replied, laughing towards the end with the other three.
“Oh I’m not after his money.. yet” Ben joked and Brian forced a smile, glad the attention was now off himself. He stood up quickly as he realised he needed a drink.
“Right, first round is on me. What does everyone want?” he asked.
“Flashing your cash already?!” Antoine smiled up at him, but still studying his face carefully.
“Watch it! Or you’re not getting a drink!” Brian laughed and Antoine held up his hands in defeat.
“Ok ok, Whiskey and coke for me” he said. Brian quickly went round the table, mentally noting their orders and then headed off towards the bar. He was getting quite worried about Antoine. This was the first time anyone had moderately recognized him, with the exception of Nicolas. He had been quite lucky really to keep his cover for so long.
“A glass of the house white, Southern Comfort and coke, Vodka apple juice, a bud light and a whiskey coke” Brian informed the barman and then leant on the wooden surface while he waited for the drinks.
“Actually, make that a double whiskey” he said as an afterthought, deciding his best method for tonight would be to get Antoine drunk to the point where he didn’t recognize him anymore. He traced invisible circles on the grubby bar top, relieved to be away from the attention but strangely missing Ben’s company. They had spent so much time together the past few days that being away from him felt strange. He sighed quietly. It wasn’t good to get this attached to someone, especially not when he didn’t know how long he would be in France. The barman brought him out of his thoughts by sliding the drinks across the bar towards him. Brian paid and thanked him, and then set off back to the table, where the four friends were now engaged in an animated conversation. He handed the drinks around and then sat back down next to Ben, clutching his own cold glass and listening intently to their chatter. It wasn’t long before he felt Ben’s arm sliding around his back. He looked up at him with a small smile on his face.
“I missed you, you know” he admitted, his eyes searching across Brian’s face.
“Me too” Brian replied as he let out a small laugh.
“Is that good?” Ben asked, his brow furrowing as he voiced Brian’s own concerns.
“I don’t know..” Brian said, leaning into his side.
They stayed like that for a good few hours, idly chatting and drinking more in the process. Brian had been making sure that Antoine was consuming more alcohol than he thought and it seemed to be working, as he hadn’t said anything else. The evident close friendship between them had made Brian miss his own friends though, and he badly wanted to talk to Stefan to clear up their argument. He carefully got to his feet and placed a kiss on Ben’s lips before heading outside. He sat down on the cold stone step and pulled out his mobile phone, effortlessly dialing Stef’s number. He put the phone to his ear and waited hesitantly as the ringing tone sounded out of the speaker.
“Hello?” Came Stef’s uncertain voice.
“Stef, its me. I didn’t wake you did I?” Brian asked.
“Oh Brian.. No you didn’t wake me” Stef replied, his tone sounding colder.
“Please Stef I’m sorry. You’re right, I was a selfish bastard for even thinking about staying here. I don’t want you to hate me” Brian said quickly in his effort to explain himself.
“I don’t hate you” Stef sighed, “I was being selfish too. I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. I don’t know what I would do if you didn’t live 5 minutes down the road from me.”
“Me either. You and Steve are the most important things in my life. I just..I need to stay here for a while..” Brian said, massaging his temples lightly.
“With Ben?” Stef replied quickly, almost accusingly.
“Yes with Ben. He’s the best thing that happened to me in a long time, and I want to see if it will work out you know?” Brian explained.
“Yeh I understand. And what if things do work out?” Stef asked, knowing the answer to the question but asking anyway.
“I’ll invite him to move back to London with me I suppose.. And I can’t really do that a week after meeting him. I need some time” Brian replied, smiling at the thought of Ben living with him.
“But time is something you don’t have a lot of. We had the record label on the phone today demanding to know where you had gone and why work had stopped. They will be on our arses if we don’t meet our deadlines.” Stefan pointed out, causing Brian to frown.
“Shit that’s not good.. I need to phone Alex. Do you think she can get me some time off?” he asked.
“I dunno. Maybe. It’s worth a try.” Stef replied hopefully.
“Ok well I’ll call her now. I know she’ll kill me for running off and calling her so late, but sooner rather than later” Brian said.
“Ok, ring me afterwards. Good luck” Stef said, as Brian said his goodbyes. He hung up, before quickly skimming through his phonebook to find Alex’s number.
Brian chewed his lip nervously as he waited for the phone to connect, and then took a deep breath as he heard Alex’s familiar voice on the other end.
“Hey Alex”
“Brian?! Why the fuck are you in France?” she demanded loudly. Brian almost dropped the phone in shock.
“Because I need to do some stuff here. Look I need you to get me some time off” he asked.
“We’re behind schedule as it is, what the hell is that important?” she said, a little quieter this time.
“Just something, I’ll tell you later. But please, I’m begging you, I really need this” Brian pleaded.
“How long?” Alex asked curiously.
“As long as you can get” Brian replied, waiting nervously as he heard paper shuffling.
“I can give you a month.. no more or my head and your recording contract is on the line” she said finally. Brian broke into a huge smile as he heard the words.
“Thank so fucking much, you’re unbelievable you know that?” he gushed.
“I know..” Alex sighed, “What shall I tell the record company? I don’t think they will accept ‘stuff’ as an excuse.”
“Something family related, like a big funeral or something. They will be too polite to pry.” Brian said.
“Ok. I want you back in the studio on Thursday 7th April” Alex said sternly, slightly reminding Brian of a head teacher with work deadlines.
“Right, so that gives me nearly 3 and a half weeks? Thank you so much, I owe you bigtime” Brian said, unable to take the smile off his face.
“That’s ok, just don’t be late” Alex replied, laughing a little.
“I won’t. Bye” Brian said as he hung up the phone, immediately dialing Stef’s number again.
“How did it go?” said Stef’s eager voice before Brian could say anything.
“She’s given me a month off” Brian replied happily.
“Wow, she must have been in a good mood! Well that’s great for you” Stef commented, and Brian could tell he meant it.
“Thanks. It gives me some time to get to know him properly at least.” He replied.
“Or just fuck him a lot” Stef sniggered, and Brian couldn’t help grinning. The prospect was certainly very inviting.
“So what’s he like?” Stef asked curiously.
“About 6 foot, light blue eyes, dark short hair. He’s slim, but bigger than me you know.” Brian replied.
“Well that’s not hard, everyone’s bigger than you, you midget” Stef laughed, eventually being silenced by an annoyed “shush” from Brian.
“And he’s just lovely. He has a really kind and sweet personality, a bit unsure of himself at times and nervous, but really lovely.” Brian gushed.
“And is he a good lay?” Stef asked, giggling childishly.
“Steef! You’re being rather crude tonight” Brian replied in mock coyness.
“Well? You have fucked him haven’t you?” Stef said, still giggling.
“Of course, and I’m not telling you. I don’t kiss and tell” Brian replied huffily, pouting as Stef burst into laughter at his last comment.
“Yeah bollocks you don’t. Come on Bri, I want the details” Stef replied through laughter.
“Fuck off Olsdal” Brian grinned into the phone, jumping as someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around to find Ben’s dark outline stood behind him on the step.
“Not interrupting anything am I?” Ben asked with a smile on his face.
“Oh no, I’m just talking to my friend on the phone.” Brian replied, glaring at the phone as Stef’s giggling could still be heard coming from the speaker.
“Ok, shall I go?” Ben asked, turning slightly towards the pub door.
“Oh no, stay. I want you to talk to Stef” Brian said, grasping his arm and pulling him down onto the step with him.
“Stef, this is Ben. Be nice to him” Brian said as he passed the phone over. Ben smiled as Stef introduced himself, and then laughed at a joke that Brian highly suspected might have been about him. He slipped his arm around Ben’s waist, pulling him closer and savoring the warmth in the cool night air. He rested his head on Ben’s shoulder, contently listening to their conversation and indignantly commenting every now and then when Stef made an unfair remark.
After a while Brian grew bored though, and grinned to himself as a thought came into his head. He shifted his position slightly and whispered into Ben’s ear. He then slowly brought his tongue out, and ran it across the edge of his earlobe. Ben shivered in response and tried to stay focused on his conversation with Stef. Brian moved his head slightly lower and gently sucked on the soft skin behind his ear. He smiled as he heard the effect it was having on Ben and slowly dragged his tongue down to the bottom of his jaw. He then trailed soft kisses across his neck, pausing halfway down to gently nibble and lick at the skin. Ben’s concentration was definitely diminishing now, and he let out a loud yelp as Brian bit firmly into his collarbone.
“What was that?” Stef asked curiously, as the sudden outburst shocked him.
“Brian is, ow, uhm trying to distract my attention by chewing on my neck it seems.” Ben explained, as Brian soothingly lapped at the bruised skin.
“Ok well I’ll er, let you go” Stef laughed.
“Ok, bye Stef. It was nice talking to you” Ben replied as he hung up the phone, and handed it back to Brian who had now dis-attached himself from his neck and was looking up at him with innocent eyes.
“What?” he asked, a smile playing across his lips.
“Don’t play innocent with me, now come on. We have to go back inside, my friends will be wondering where we have gotten to.” Ben replied, pulling him to his feet.
They wandered back inside and made their way over to the table. Pascal seemed to have fallen asleep on the table, and Antoine was busy amusing himself with beer mats. Clémantine grinned at them as they sat back down.
“And where have you two been?” she asked, raising her eyebrow.
“We were talking to Stef” Brian explained, but she didn’t seem convinced.
“No really, we were. What happened to those two?” Ben asked as he smiled at them.
“Too much alcohol” Clémantine laughed.
They all stayed chatting for a while longer until the barman announced it was last orders.
“Ok, we had better get going” Ben said, standing up and going over to Clémantine.
“Yeh me too, I just need to call these two a cab” she motioned to their two very drunk friends. Ben laughed and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“See you later Clém.” Brian said as he gave her a hug goodbye. Ben waved to the now practically comatose Antoine and Pascal, and grasped onto Brian’s arm as they walked rather unsteadily outside.
They stumbled in silence up the road towards the guesthouse, as it was only 5 minutes away from the pub. Brian was racking his brains as to how he could reveal to Ben who he really was. He shook his head furiously at the last thought. His occupation didn’t make his personality change, he was still the same Brian, rock star or not. It was just a job title, yet he was still unsure how Ben would react to that information.
“You ok?” Ben asked, looking at him curiously. It took Brian a few seconds to realise he had been muttering out loud.
“Yeh I’m fine.. I just need to tell you something..” he replied, trailing off towards the end.
“Oh?” Ben responded, raising an eyebrow. Brian opened his mouth to speak, but the words got stuck. He couldn’t do it, not now, not when he was so unsure of how Ben would react.
“I had fun tonight” he replied eventually, defeated in his own mental conflict. Ben smiled down at him.
“Me too, but the night isn’t over yet” he said as he winked mischievously.
“Oh, and do you have something in mind?” Brian asked, glad the subject had been taken off himself. It gave him less to think about, and thinking was starting to hurt his head.
“I do believe you promised to punish me earlier” Ben grinned, with a wicked glint in his eye. Brian giggled loudly as they crept into the silent guesthouse.
“Shhh people are trying to sleep” Ben scolded.
“I can’t help it when I’ve just discovered my boyfriend is a kinky bugger” Brian whispered, breaking into another fit of giggles. Ben simply shrugged his shoulders, still grinning and looked down at the small figure leant against him.
“Yes well, I’ll just have to silence you myself then” he smiled, easily pinning Brian against the wall and pressing their lips together. Brian mumbled something of a protest but soon gave in, willingly submitting as he slid his hands up Ben’s shirt. Their kisses became more desperate as the alcohol and passion took over, hips furiously pushing against each other and tongues fighting for space. Brian rolled out from underneath Ben gasping for breath and grabbed his hand. He led him upstairs quickly and silently, neither of them needing to talk as they both knew what was coming. They managed to stumble in the door, rapidly closing it behind them and attempting to make as little noise as possible. Brian had barely taken two steps into the room when Ben’s frenzied hands pulled his shirt over his head in one swift movement. He dropped his head and clamped his lips around one soft pink nipple, teasing it with his tongue and lavishing attention to Brian’s chest.
“Fuck you’re horny!” Brian gasped, watching in amusement as Ben pulled away to grin up at him.
“How can I not be when I’m in a room with you?” he replied, pushing Brian backwards gently so his legs hit the side of the bed. Brian allowed himself to fall back onto the soft mattress and watched with lust-laden eyes as Ben crawled across his body.
“So sexy..” he mumbled as he kissed his chest, his tongue circling the supple skin. Brian let his eyes fall shut for a few brief moments, moaning softly as Ben’s hand stroked his growing erection through the thin fabric of his jeans. He blindly reached out to undo the remaining buttons on Ben’s shirt, sitting up slightly to get a better view. After a few seconds he triumphantly pulled the material free and flung it across the room, giggling as it caught on the top of the wardrobe.
Brian turned his attention back to Ben as their mouths clashed together, his hand sliding between their bodies with the intention of removing his jeans. Brian lifted his hips helpfully as the unwanted clothing was pulled away from him and resumed kissing Ben. Within moments they were both fully naked, sitting on the bed astride each other. Ben reached out tentatively, his hand trailing slowly along Brian’s cock, eliciting a moan from him.
“Brian? Does it hurt?” He asked shyly, his passionate confidence from earlier now seeming to waver.
“Does what hurt?” Brian replied as he rested his chin on Ben’s shoulder, kissing his neck softly.
“You know what..” Ben said, ceasing his hand movements and causing Brian to pull back and look at him carefully.
“Yeh it does” he replied after a moment, “But the feeling it creates is unbelievable. The sensation of someone filling you completely is indescribable, and you will come harder than you ever have before” he finished with a wink. Ben looked deep in thought for a while, chewing on his bottom lip pensively.
“Do you want to?” Brian asked cautiously as Ben looked up at him, staring deep into his eyes.
Ben was silent for a while, obviously contemplating it.
“Yeah… yeh I do.” He replied finally, causing Brian to smile. He pressed a kiss to his lips and allowed himself to be pushed onto his back.
“Just, be gentle with me?” he added softly and Brian laughed quietly at his concerned expression.
“Of course I will” Brian said, kissing the tip of his nose and allowing his hands to roam over the now familiar territory of Ben’s chest. He gripped his hips tightly and slid himself down Ben’s body with ease, lightly trailing his tongue along the burning skin. He dragged the tip across the length of his cock, waiting for the all too familiar moan from his lover’s lips. Ben gasped his appreciation and Brian continued, sucking lightly on the head before wrapping his lips around the whole length. He grazed his teeth on the underside as he pulled back up, and watched Ben’s reaction as he gripped the bed sheets tightly.
“Ooh fuck” he moaned, involuntarily bucking his hips upwards. Brian smiled and moved his tongue down to the base of his cock, teasing the delicate flesh. He continued further down, nipping gently at the skin and trailing his tongue around his testicles. Brian let his hands wander from their position on Ben’s hips round towards his firm arse and trailed his fingers along the cleft. Encouraged by the pants from above him, Brian allowed his tongue to follow the trail his fingers were making, tickling around the soft skin. He stopped for a moment as he reached his entrance then hesitantly flicked his tongue around it. Ben’s body broke out in spasms underneath him as he pushed one delicate finger inside and licked around the opening, lubricating it with saliva. Brian quickly glanced at Ben’s reaction before withdrawing his finger carefully and adding a second digit.
“Ahh fuck” Ben gasped, wincing slightly.
“Are you ok?” Brian asked concernedly.
“Yeh, just don’t stop” Ben replied. Brian smiled up at him and placed a kiss on the inside of his thigh as he pushed his fingers apart. He continued to make a scissoring motion whilst stroking Ben’s leg to try and relax him. After a while he added a third finger, pushing slowly inside. Ben seemed to have relaxed by then, as he didn’t look in pain. Brian crept halfway up his body and pulled his head down to kiss him. His tongue danced around Ben’s mimicking the actions his fingers were making, carefully stretching his muscles. He slowly withdrew them as he pulled away breathlessly, gazing down with lust-filled eyes.
“Are you ready now?” he asked.
“Yeh..” Ben replied, his eyes searching across his face.
“You sure?” Brian asked.
“Of course” Ben smiled up at him, “Now fuck me”
Brian almost came at those words, and blindly reached out to his bedside table to grab the condom and lube. He sat back on Ben’s chest and ripped the packet open, before rolling the condom over his hard cock and moaning slightly at the contact. Ben gazed at him in amazement, and reached out to grasp the lube before Brian. He squeezed some onto his hands and liberally applied it to Brian’s length, moving in long smooth strokes. Brian deftly shuffled backwards and lifted up Ben’s legs. He wrapped them around his waist and moved forward so his cock was positioned at his entrance. He reached out to grasp his hip with one hand, and held Ben’s own hand with his other. Ben nodded up at him, keeping his gaze intently.
Brian pushed the head of his cock in slowly, watching as Ben’s eyes screwed tightly shut. Ben squeezed his hand as flashes of pain shot through him, quickly fading to a dull stinging sensation. Brian pushed gently until the base of his cock bumped against his hips, and paused for a moment.
“Is that ok?” he asked softly. Ben nodded in response as his body grew used to the feeling of his muscles being forced apart. Gaining confidence slightly, Brian started to withdraw in one steady long stroke. He stopped when he had pulled out nearly all the way and gave Ben’s hand a reassuring squeeze. He pushed back in as he managed to build up a slow rhythm and watched the effect it was having on his partner.
Ben panted breathlessly as the pain ebbed away to be replaced by a strange tingling sensation. A fine film of sweat collected on his body as Brian continued to thrust in long slow strokes.
“Ok now I’m going to..” Brian gasped as he lifted Ben’s hips slightly “.. hit your prostate”
He pulled back and paused for a second, before thrusting forcefully in at the new angle.
“Oooh fuuck” Ben moaned, causing Brian to grin.
“This is the good part..” he managed to say in between pants. Ben silently agreed, then thoughts of Brian invaded his mind as he hit the wall of muscle over and over again. Brian started to thrust harder and faster, his hips slamming against Ben’s repeatedly. He moaned loudly as Ben’s tight insides furiously massaged his cock and let go of his hand as he noticed Ben’s own cock wasn’t getting any attention. He ran his fingers along the length before grasping it firmly, delighting in the moans coming from Ben. Brian started to pump it in time with his own thrusting, and started to move quicker as he felt the familiar sensation creeping through him. He threw his head back as pure bliss set in and muttered expletives to the room around him. Ben’s hands crept around his waist, pulling him down so their chests were touching and their lips pressed together. They continued rocking intensely with each other, their passionate kisses only heightening the sensation. Ben moaned as he felt himself drawing nearer to the edge and gripped onto Brian’s back tightly. He dragged his fingernails across the skin, crying out as his cock convulsed and an immense orgasm spread through his body. His cum pooled between their chests, and Brian continued to thrust as his own release grew close. He sat back up and locked his gaze onto Ben’s as an indescribable sensation flooded his veins, his cock exploding furiously amidst a clamour of groans and shouts.
Brian collapsed onto Ben’s sticky chest, attempting to get his breath back. His cock twitched grudgingly and he pulled slowly out of Ben. Ben gasped slightly as he withdrew, then pulled the used condom off him and threw it into the bin. Brian rested on his elbows above him and smiled.
“Ok?” he asked.
“Perfect” Ben replied, smiling back at him.
“Mmm, but we’ve got you all messy” Brian said, swirling his finger in the cum. Before Ben could reply he had lowered his head, licking his chest clean and swirling his tongue around his nipples.
“That tickles” Ben giggled softly, lifting Brian’s chin and kissing him.
“That was amazing.” He said breathlessly. “You’re amazing” he added as an afterthought.
“So are you.” Brian replied, brushing a stray piece of hair out of his face. He lay down next to Ben, one arm flung across his chest and the other linking hands with his lover. He sighed contentedly as Ben pulled the covers across them and a feeling of warmth and security crept into his mind.
Brian absentmindedly tapped his cigarette end on the edge of the windowsill. It was so dark and quiet, just gazing out onto the sleeping village. He felt like he could stay there forever being enveloped by the balmy night air. A soft murmuring from behind him made him turn around, his eyes barely making out the sleeping figure on the bed. They had stayed up for a while, talking softly and exchanging gentle kisses, and yet he didn’t feel that tired. Brian smiled as he remembered he didn’t have to get up at a specific time the next morning, and that he was free to spend the next 3 weeks with Ben doing as he pleased. It was certainly a pleasant thought.
He finished the cigarette and flicked it out the window into the inky darkness below him. He crossed the room silently and slipped under the bedcovers, resuming his comfortable position wrapped around Ben.
It was hard to believe that a week previously he had never met Ben, and the thought of living in Laitue Bécote for a month hadn’t crossed his mind. It was funny how fate seemed to work, and Brian was inwardly praising Steve for starting that argument with him. He couldn’t imagine not knowing Ben now, and he felt as though they had become really close in the few days they had known each other. Maybe it was true love? The kind you read about in fairy tales where the handsome prince sweeps the beautiful princess off her feet. Or maybe it was just real life, and Brian had finally found the person that was right for him.
Chapter 7:
Sunday 3rd April
2 weeks, 4 days and 10 hours laterIt had been three weeks. Three weeks since the first night they were together. Three blissful weeks of being with Ben.
Brian smiled to himself as he sat in the now familiar kitchen, receiving his first nicotine fix of the day. Ben had rather grudgingly dragged himself to work, as he had taken the last three weeks off due to “family problems”. He had finally realised he had to go back sooner or later, as he did actually need to money to live. Brian had stayed in their warm bed for a while longer until boredom and cravings had dragged him downstairs. Seeing as it was their three-week anniversary he had decided to take Ben out somewhere nice that evening. His plans consisted of a meal in a nice seafront restaurant, which had been thoughtfully recommended by Clémantine, and then a late night film to round off the evening. A three-week anniversary may have seemed like a strange choice to celebrate, but Brian knew by the next week he would be back in London. And depending on how the night’s events went, Ben may or may not be joining him. Tonight was going to be the night when he declared those three little words. It sounded soppy, but the time seemed right and Brian wanted Ben to know how he finally felt. The subject of Brian’s career still hadn’t been broached though, and maybe tonight was the best time to try and explain.
Brian sighed as he got to his feet, and went off in search of a warm shower and some clean clothes. Half of his wardrobe was now residing at Ben’s house, as was the same with Ben’s clothes and the guesthouse. They had been alternating between the two places, spending every night in each other’s embrace.
Finally clothed and ready to face the outside world, Brian stepped out of the house, carefully locking the door behind him. He set off on the short journey to Clémantine’s house as he had promised to go and see her. He had barely knocked on the door when a very excitable Clémantine launched herself at him, grabbing his arm and dragging him inside. She pushed him back onto the sofa and flung herself down next to him, a massive grin plastered across her face. Brian simply stared at her as though she had sprouted a pair of wings, her excitement at this time of the morning was too much for him to comprehend.
“Well? Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m so happy?” She demanded after a few moments of shocked silence from Brian’s end of the sofa.
“You’re going to tell me anyway..” Brian replied. She huffed impatiently then continued.
“Yeh good point.. Well I’ve met someone!”
“Wow that’s great!” Brian said, his mood evidently brightening. “So who is it?”
“His name is Nicolas” Clémantine replied, beaming. Brian stared at her for a moment as though she had gone mad.
“Err Clém..” he began after a while, unsure of how to phrase his question.
“I’m only joking you idiot.” She replied as she let out a laugh and Brian heaved a sigh of relief. “His name is Luc and I met him at the pub two nights ago”
“Two nights? So how come you didn’t tell me yesterday?” Brian asked, pulling an expression of mock rejection.
“You were too busy fucking Ben” Clémantine replied curtly as she poked her tongue out.
“Good point..” Brian said, smiling slightly as the memories from the previous day came drifting back to him. Clémantine waved her hand in front of him impatiently in a vague attempt to bring him back to reality.
“I was telling you about my hot new guy, Brian.” she said, as his attention finally came back to her.
“Oh yeh sorry. Got a bit distracted. So have you arranged to meet again?” Brian asked curiously.
“Of course!” Clémantine grinned, “Tonight, except he won’t tell me where he’s taking me.” She pouted, poking at the nearest cushion.
“I’m sure it will be lovely and romantic” Brian reassured her. She smiled back at him gratefully.
“Yeh, it will. He’s so lovely!” she gushed, “Speaking of which, haven’t you got your anniversary date with Ben tonight?”
“Yup. I’m so fucking scared, tonight is when I tell him.” Brian replied, chewing on his bottom lip as he remembered the coming evening.
“Tell him what?” Clémantine asked, looking confused. Brian sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Has all this soppy shit gone to your brain or something? I’m telling him those three words you know?” he explained as if to a child. Clémantine simply stared back at him, feigning ignorance. Really she just wanted to hear Brian say the words out loud.
“That I love him..” he replied, finally giving in. Clémantine squealed once more and threw herself at Brian, knocking him sideways onto the sofa.
“Oh my god! You love Ben!” she giggled into his ear as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Brian nearly choked as her hands unintentionally tightened around his throat, and he struggled to sit back up again.
“Of course I do” he spluttered as he massaged his sore throat. Clémantine looked up at him, still keeping her grip on his shoulders.
“Why haven’t you said anything before then?” she asked.
“I dunno, I just wanted to wait until I was sure he felt the same way.” Brian explained, shrugging his shoulders and swatting Clémantine’s hands off him.
“Oh Ben feels the same way alright. He doesn’t stop talking about you when we’re alone.” She replied, grinning at him. Brian felt his cheeks burn red as he smiled back at her.
“Really?” he asked, slightly disbelievingly. Clémantine climbed off the sofa and turned to look at him.
“Seriously, I’m starting to get sick of hearing about you” she laughed, and made her way into the kitchen.
“Coffee while you’re up” Brian called after her, taking her indignant silence as a yes. He stared at the evil yellow wall opposite him, allowing his own thoughts to take over. Obviously thoughts of Ben. What else was there to think about when he spent his days and nights with a gorgeously sexy guy? Tonight was going to be fine. No scrap that, tonight was going to be perfect. He would sweep Ben off his feet, declare his undying love, reveal all his secrets and ask him to live with him forever and ever. Well maybe not quite like that. Maybe a little less fairy-tale like.
Brian smiled up at Clémantine as she re-appeared in the room and handed him a coffee.
“What were you thinking about? You were staring at that wall pretty intently, and I don’t think it’s that interesting..” she asked as she sat back down next to him.
“Ben..” Brian admitted, taking a sip of his drink.
“Well there’s a surprise..” Clémantine rolled her eyes at him.
“Well he was the last topic of conversation” Brian protested feebly, “And anyway I need to ask you something about him.”
“Oh?” she replied curiously.
“Well it’s to do with me too. You see, I have to go back to London on Thursday.” Brian said, trailing off towards the end.
“How long for?” Clémantine asked, her brow furrowing.
“Indefinitely. As in my holiday ends on Thursday..” he explained quietly.
Clémantine stared at him in silent disbelief.
“But.. but what about you and Ben?” she asked once she had regained her speaking abilities.
“Well that’s what I need to ask you. I want him to come back with me.” Brian replied, keeping her gaze.
“What, like to live?” Clémantine said quietly.
“Yeh. Do you think he would? Is it a good idea?” Brian asked, stumbling on his words in his haste to reply.
“Of course it’s a good idea. You are both in love and you seem perfect for each other. It would be stupid to throw away something like that.” Clémantine replied, smiling slightly as she rested her hand on Brian’s shoulder.
“But do you think he would say yes?” Brian voiced his main concern, his expression showing his feelings.
“I don’t know.” Clémantine sighed in response, “I suppose the only way to find out is to ask him. When were you going to?”
“Tonight. I have some other stuff I need to sort out so it seems like the opportune moment.” Brian replied.
“Well let me know what he says. A teary eyed Ben turning up on my doorstep tomorrow morning could mean either.” Clémantine joked in an effort to lighten the mood. Brian smiled weakly, before throwing his arms around her.
“I’m going to miss you.” He confessed, pulling her close and sniffling into her shoulder.
“Me too.” Clémantine mumbled into his neck, a few tears dampening his shirt. “And Ben. If he says yes I’ll have to find a new best friend.” Brian giggled slightly at the mental image of Clémantine running around the village asking people to be her friends.
“Or you could just waste a lot of money on travel costs to visit us in London every weekend.” He replied trying to stifle his giggles, as they seemed inappropriate.
“I can come and visit?” Clémantine sniffed, looking up at him.
“Of course. I wasn’t just going to leave you here.” Brian smiled at her. She wiped her hands across her cheeks and sat up, still sniffing slightly.
“It’s going to be strange without you here.” She admitted, taking a sip of her coffee without realising it had gone cold.
“I know, but we’ll manage.” Brian replied, rubbing her arm comfortingly. “Now, shall we get some chocolate and start getting ready for tonight?”
“Of course!” Clémantine grinned, back to her usual perky self. “Though it’s a shame you don’t have any nice designer dresses I can borrow.”
Brian smiled to himself as he thought of his abandoned 1998 wardrobe back home.
“Ok so everything’s ready? What time do you have to be at the restaurant?” Clémantine asked as she walked down the road alongside Brian.
“Uhm, half seven. And I’m pretty sure everything is set.” He replied after thinking carefully.
“Ok, just don’t do something stupid like fall over or spill food on him and you should be fine.” Clémantine instructed severely, before laughing at the concerned look on Brian’s face.
“I’ll try not to.” Brian grinned and pulled her into a hug as they reached the end of the road where they were to go their own separate ways.
“Now you have a good time tonight, and I’ll call you first thing in the morning.” He instructed.
“Yes mother.” Clémantine poked her tongue out and waved as she started walking in the opposite direction.
Brian briskly walked the few minutes to the café, and smiled as he saw Ben was just stepping outside. He swiftly wrapped his arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his lips.
“Mmm” Ben mumbled, “Missed me?”
“Of course.” Brian replied truthfully, linking their fingers as they set off back towards Ben’s house.
“How did you manage 8 hours without me?” Ben grinned.
“I slept.” Brian said as he poked his tongue out.
“God I wish I could have slept. It was hell leaving you in that bed this morning. You looked so adorable lying there with your hair all messed up.” Ben smiled as he recalled the memory.
“Well you can’t sleep tonight. I’ve booked you!” Brian protested, causing Ben to laugh.
“Yes you have, and I intend to stay awake for it.” He smiled as they reached his front door.
Brian giggled as he pushed Ben into the shower cubicle.
"Now you get washed and I have an outfit chosen for you when you come out." he instructed as he turned on the jet of hot water. Ben shot him a coy look from half closed eyes, delicately trailing his fingers along Brian's arm.
"Don't you want to join me?" he asked teasingly. Brian let his eyes flicker shut for a few seconds, absorbing the pleasurable sensation of his lover’s touch gently caressing his skin.
"I can't." he murmured, "I have to go and get ready." He used all of his effort to step away from the cubicle and towards the door, smiling softly at the figure stood under the cascade of water. Brian could almost see Ben's pout burning into his back as he walked back into the bedroom. Funny how they had picked up little characterisms from each other over the past few weeks.
It didn't take long at all for him to get ready for once, although he had to apply his eyeliner twice as his hand had been shaking. Brian chastised himself for being so nervous and tried to appear calm, but the butterflies pounding around in his stomach didn't seem to help. He breathed a sigh of relief as Ben stepped out of the bathroom clad in only a towel, as it distracted his mind from its torturous thoughts. Ben's hair was tousled and dark from the moisture, and he smelt of the delicious shower gel they had picked out in a shop the previous day. Brian smiled as he remembered the perfect creature in front of him was his, and he slid his arms around his waist, softly kissing the warm skin. Ben locked his own arms around the smaller mans shoulders, burying his face in his short hair and they stood in a silent embrace for what seemed like forever.
"Hey" he whispered in his ear. "We need to get ready."
"Mmm we have to leave at quarter past seven." Brian replied, reminding himself of the time. He lifted his head to look at Ben, his chin resting on his bare chest.
"I'm so glad we met you know." He added as his lips curved into a smile.
"Me too Brian." Ben said, losing himself in the curious blue green mix of his eyes. They pulled away from the warm confines of the embrace grudgingly and Brian led Ben over to the bed. Lain out on the covers was the outfit he had chosen and Ben willingly pulled the clothes over his cool skin. It was a simple combination of dark blue jeans and a white shirt, something that Brian loved to see him in.
By the time quarter past seven came around, they were both dressed and ready to leave. Brian offered out his arm to Ben as they walked out of the house and towards the cab waiting on the road.
"Isn't the man meant to offer his arm to the lady?" Ben teased as they climbed into the back of the cab, earning himself a deft slap on the arm. The cab driver raised an eyebrow at their antics, but drove off in silence to the destination that Brian had previously instructed.
"Oh and would you prefer if it I was a lady?" Brian replied, pouting slightly.
"Not at all." Ben said, wrapping his arm around his shoulder in an attempt to make him smile. "I lo.. like you just the way you are."
Brian smiled shyly to himself as he noticed Ben's slip up. It gave him more confidence as it slightly reassured him that Ben really did feel the same way.
"You've gone a bit quiet?" Ben probed after about ten minutes into the journey. His voice jolted Brian's attention from the rolling landscapes outside the window back to him.
"Oh hm? Yeh I was just thinking." Brian explained quietly, when really he had been mentally plotting his conversation for the next few hours.
"So where are we going?" Ben asked, trying to catch him off guard. He had been inquiring to their evening’s destination all day, but to no avail.
"Not telling. You'll find out when we get there." Brian replied promptly, laughing at the look on Ben's face.
"But.. we must be nearly there." Ben protested and attempted to look pitiful.
"Well then you'll find out even sooner." Brian said unrelentlessly. Ben sat back and tried his hardest to pout, but it was extremely difficult when he felt so content. He eventually gave up and rested his chin on Brian's shoulder, staring out of the window with him. He slowly slid his other hand across his waist, letting it come to a rest on his stomach. Brian sighed in contentment as he shifted back against Ben slightly.
"Its a lovely evening." Ben commented, gazing at the orange sun that was just beginning to set on the horizon, causing a multitude of colours to dance across the waters surface.
"Mmm." Brian mumbled softly, too engrossed in the feeling of Ben's fingers tickling across the skin on his stomach to reply properly.
"It will be beautiful when it's summer. You'll love it, the weather gets so nice." Ben continued, his voice taking on a dreamy aspect. Brian felt a slight pang of guilt as he realised he wouldn't be there, and the feeling worsened when he realised he was going to ask Ben to leave all this behind. It was a bit of a contrast moving from the picturesque south of France to grotty London. The cab came to a halt before he could think anymore on the matter though, and they both stepped out in front of the restaurant. Brian quickly paid the driver before walking inside with Ben.
They waited quietly while the hostess found their booking and then led them to a small table by a large window. Ben gasped as he sat down, as the view onto the sea front was magnificent.
“How did you manage to find this restaurant?” he asked, slightly amazed and taken aback by the perfection of their setting.
“Well I er.. might have had a bit of help from Clémantine on that part.” Brian confessed, accepting his menu from the young waitress that had just appeared. Ben simply smiled back at him.
“Thank you. It’s perfect.” He said, before opening his menu to study the selection of meals. Brian quickly ordered a bottle of the house white wine and then set about inspecting his own menu.
“Mm it all looks lovely. I can’t decide what I want.” Ben commented. “What are you having?”
Brian quickly read down the list once more before replying.
“Hmm.. I think I’ll go for the salmon steak.” He decided, folding his menu and placing it back down on the table.
“Well I think I’ll just trust your judgement and have the same.” Ben laughed as he crossed his arms on the tabletop. They sat in silence as they waited for the waitress to return with their wine, just content to be in each other’s company and admire the view. The sun had nearly set on the horizon and had turned the whole sky a beautiful dusky pink colour. The smooth rolling sound of the waves hitting the beach created a calming backdrop, and the last few people left on the sand were just starting to pack away. It all just seemed too peaceful for words, that is until the waitress broke the spell by arriving with the wine. Brian placed their main orders while Ben poured a generous glassful each.
“So.. did you have fun at work today?” Brian asked, striking up a conversation.
“Oh loads of fun,” Ben rolled his eyes sarcastically. “And I bet you did nothing all day?”
“No actually, I got up around 2 to go and see Clémantine.” Brian replied, poking his tongue out in triumph.
“Going to Clémantine’s doesn’t count.” Ben protested as he took a gulp of his wine.
“And why not?” Brian asked.
“Because it’s 2 minutes away from my house!” Ben replied indignantly.
“So? I still did something.” Brian argued, smiling sweetly at Ben.
“Ok ok.” Ben admitted defeat with a sigh as he held his hands up, “So how is she anyway?”
“Still as nuts as ever.” Brian grinned in response. “She’s got a date with some guy tonight.”
“Who?” Ben asked curiously and Brian detected a slight hint of jealously in his voice.
“Luc. She met him in the pub two nights ago.” He replied.
“And why haven’t we heard about Luc before?” Ben inquired quickly, causing Brian to grin as he remembered Clémantine’s response to the question.
“Apparently we were too busy fucking.” He smirked. Ben let out a short laugh.
“Is that all she thinks we do?” he said, a smile plastered on his face.
“Well it is, isn’t it?” Brian grinned cheekily. Ben leant back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest.
“No, we go out for lovely meals as well.” He replied, his voice taking on a softer tone.
“Mm yes we do.” Brian replied, keeping Ben’s gaze intently. “But mostly fucking.” He added as an afterthought, causing Ben to erupt into a fit of giggles. The other people in the restaurant looked at them curiously as they tried to compose themselves. Luckily they were saved any embarrassing silences by the waitress returning with their food. She placed a small basket of bread in the middle of their table, and then each of their dishes in turn. A comfortable hush fell over the table as they ate contentedly, occasionally pausing for more wine and light conversation.
The plates had just been cleared away and the desserts ordered when Brian placed his wine glass down on the table. He coughed softly to break the silence and Ben looked up at him with mild curiosity. Brian reached across the table to grasp his hand, and ran his thumb over the smooth skin thoughtfully before speaking.
“As you might have guessed, I planned tonight for our 3 week anniversary. 3 weeks may seem a strange choice of celebration, but I have reasons which I will explain to you in due time. Mostly I asked you here because I wanted to tell you something very important.” Brian said slowly and carefully, pausing as he contemplated the right words. Ben's face turned from curious to confused, to doubt, though Brian didn't seem to notice.
“In the few weeks I’ve gotten to know you, I can honestly say you are one of the most lovely, caring and generous people I have ever met. And I really can’t imagine not being with you. I’m so glad that I chose now to run away to France on a hiatus. Basically what I’m trying to say is.. I.. I love you.” Brian ended with a shaky breath, chewing his bottom lip as he looked at Ben in apprehension. For a moment he thought he had made a huge mistake, and that Ben was either going to laugh at him or storm out of the restaurant. But his worries soon turned to relief, as a smile slowly grew across Ben's face.
“I love you too.” Ben replied softly, gripping Brian's hand in his. They just smiled at each other in silent disbelief. Brian leant over the table towards Ben, softly pressing their lips together for a short, sweet kiss. He pulled back slightly, still smiling, and ran his thumb across Ben's cheek.
“I.. I have something else I need to tell you too.” he started hesitantly. Ben just smiled at him, seemingly ready to accept anything he was about to be told. Brian opened his mouth to talk, but was quickly interrupted by a loud cry. He sat back in shock and looked around for the source of the disruption.
Brian turned around and caught a glimpse of Clémantine at the end of the restaurant, with who he supposed was a harassed looking Luc in tow. She called out to them again as she drew nearer to the table, as if they hadn’t already realised who it was.
“Well what are the chances?” she said, smiling broadly as she reached them. “Mind if we join you?” Brian and Ben didn’t really have a chance to reply though, as she pulled out a chair on the table next to them. Luc didn’t seem very happy at the idea, but obviously didn’t really have a choice in the matter and so sat down as well.
“Brian, Ben, this is Luc.” She announced, showing him off proudly. They waved their greetings a little uncomfortably and turned back to Clémantine.
“I hope I didn’t interrupt anything..” she asked, noting their silence.
“Oh no, not at all.” Brian replied quickly, attempting to smile.
“Soo.. did you discuss anything important?” Clémantine prompted, looking eagerly at Ben.
“Brian loves me!” Ben said, smiling shyly. Clémantine beamed and threw her arms around the pair.
“Awww it’s so lovely!” she said happily once Ben and Brian had been let go of. Luc coughed quietly to get their attention.
“Erm.. are you two.. a couple?” he asked cautiously.
“Of course we are.” Brian remarked, noting the look of slight antipathy on Luc’s face. “Would we just be two good friends having an intimate dinner and proclaiming our love to each other?” he continued, with a slight edge to his voice. Luc just shrugged his shoulders as he tried to keep his expression blank.
“Do you have a problem with that?” Brian asked. Ben put his hand on his arm as he sensed that conflict was nearing.
“Just leave it.” He whispered into Brian’s ear. “We don’t want to ruin our evening.”
“Well yes, I do have a problem actually.” Luc responded. “I don’t mind gays as long as they don’t flaunt it. I don’t want to see this when I go out you know.”
“Flaunt it?! So I’m not allowed to kiss my boyfriend in public because it disgusts you?” Brian said angrily, his voice rising slightly.
“Come on Clémantine. Lets go somewhere else.” Luc said as he turned to her. Clémantine just stared at him blankly.
“Ben is my best friend, and he’s gay. I don’t think I really want to be seeing a homophobic person.” She explained slowly, staying seated while Luc got to his feet. He stared at her for a second, as if he almost expected her to change her mind. But sensing no acquiescence from Clémantine, he finally gave in and left without a word.
Clémantine watched him walk out of the restaurant and then gave a sigh and turned back to Brian and Ben, who had been sat watching the whole scene in shock.
“I’m so sorry Clém, you should have gone with him. We shouldn’t have ruined your date.” Ben apologised sincerely.
“No it’s not your fault at all. I wouldn’t have gone with that homophobic twat anyway… I thought he seemed so nice as well.” She replied, looking evidently disappointed at her night. Ben gazed at Brian, obviously trying to figure out some way to comfort his friend. Eventually it was Brian who broke through the silence.
“Look, our dinner is nearly finished now. We’re just waiting for the dessert and then we were going to go and see a film. Why don’t you join us? You could certainly do with some cheering up.” He asked Clémantine, waiting carefully for her response.
“Are you sure that’s ok?” she inquired, turning from Brian to Ben.
“Of course. It’s the least we could do after the shitty evening you’ve just had.” Ben replied as he smiled encouragingly at her.
“Ok.” She agreed, leaning over to wrap her arms around Ben’s shoulders. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.” He replied, rubbing her arm soothingly before picking the dessert menu back up. “Now who’s for some ice cream?”
By the time they arrived at the cinema, Clémantine’s mood seemed to have lightened quite a lot. They paid for tickets for some mindless action film and took their seats at the back. But to be honest they didn’t pay much attention to the film, instead they threw popcorn at each other and giggled at the ludicrous acting. Ben took the opportunity of a particularly impressive stunt that Clémantine seemed very engrossed in to ask Brian something that had been on his mind.
“What were you going to say earlier just before Clémantine and Luc arrived?” he asked as he twisted his hand around Brian’s.
“Oh that..” Brian said, furrowing his brow as he remembered, “Er I’d rather not say here. It’s something I want to discuss with you before Clémantine hears about it..”
“Ok. Was it important?” Ben probed.
“Yeh I think so. I’ll talk to you later about it?” Brian reasoned.
“Ok.” Ben agreed, before leaning closer to him. “Thank you for tonight, it’s been perfect. I’m going to repay you when we get home.”
“Oh? And how are you going to repay me?” Brian asked curiously, raising his eyebrow.
“You’ll see..” Ben replied mysteriously as he winked at him. He leant forward, allowing their lips to lightly brush together before pulling back teasingly. Brian pouted up at him then slipped his hand around his neck. He deftly pulled Ben towards him again, allowing their mouths to meet properly. Their tongues lustfully collided as Ben’s arms started an exploration of Brian’s back.
“Oh come on guys!” Clémantine said indignantly from beside them. “It may be sweet, but stop putting me off my film!” she joked as she sent a handful of popcorn in their direction.
They film was over fairly quickly, to the relief of Ben who had been getting quite bored with it. They stumbled out of the cinema giggling, Brian and Clémantine re-enacting some of the more cringe-worthy moments whilst Ben attempted to pick popcorn off his clothes. He managed to find a cab quite quickly, and they were soon comfortably on their way back home. Clémantine looked up from her position sprawled out across their laps and smiled at the two men.
“You guys are so lovely together.” She grinned, watching as Ben slid his arm around Brian’s shoulders. “Don’t.. don’t ever change.” She said, hesitating slightly.
“Why would we change?” Ben asked her with a puzzled look on his face. Clémantine shrugged her shoulders, but cast a meaningful glance at Brian.
The cab came to halt outside Clémantine’s house, and Ben made sure it waited while they watched her reach the safety of her front door. They arrived at Ben’s house soon after, and Brian paid the cab driver while Ben went ahead to fumble with the front door. He had managed to overcome the obstacle by the time Brian joined him, and together they stepped into the dimly lit hallway.
“I do believe you had promised to repay me?” Brian purred, running his hands along Ben’s arm.
“Hmm, did I?” Ben replied teasingly, allowing himself to be drawn into the embrace.
“Yes you did. And I intend to see to it that you carry out that promise.” Brian said as he rapidly closed the space between their faces. Unusually it was Ben who made the first move, pressing his lips firmly against Brian’s and smiling as he heard a slight mumble of protest. Their hands swept over each other in an effort to find something to cling to as Brian pressed his body tightly against Bens, allowing their tongues to twist together. The sensations were just reaching dizzying heights when Ben pulled away, leaving a frustrated Brian clearly wanting more.
Ben sauntered off towards the kitchen with a satisfied smirk on his face.
“Go on upstairs and make yourself comfortable, I just need to get some supplies. I’ll be up in a second.” He said. Brian turned and put one foot on the bottom step before pausing.
“Ben..” he called after the figure disappearing through the doorway.
“What?” Ben asked, stepping back slightly so he could see Brian.
“I love you.” Brian said, the dim lighting not being able to disguise his smile. Ben smiled back at him, just gazing at his features for a moment.
“I love you too.” He replied softly and watched as Brian contentedly bounded up the staircase.
Brian soon reached the familiar confines of Ben’s bedroom, and paused by the side of the bed in thought. He wasn’t sure whether or not to strip because he didn’t know what Ben had planned for him. He eventually settled for just removing his shirt, and stretched out on top of the bed on his back. A cool breeze played in through the open window sending shivers across his bare stomach, and his fingers absentmindedly found themselves massaging some warmth into his belly. Ben stepped into the room, smiling at the sight before him and attempting to hide a tray behind his back.
“What have you got?” Brian asked, craning his neck slightly to try and get a better view.
“Oh nothing.” Ben replied innocently as he slid the tray on top of a chest of drawers, out of Brian’s line of sight. He quickly crossed the room and joined Brian on the bed, leaning down to kiss him softly. Brian hooked an arm around his side, pulling him across on top of him. Their mouths pushed together a little more insistently and the kisses grew more intense as they became more aroused. Brian’s hands were just in the process of attempting to remove Ben’s top when he suddenly sat up.
“I was thinking maybe you want to try something a little different tonight, for my repayment.” He hinted casually, smiling down at Brian from his position astride his hips.
“I’m all yours, baby.” Brian replied, watching in curiosity as Ben reached for something on the bedside table. He slid his hands up Ben’s shirt as he turned back holding a silk blindfold.
“Ooh kinky.” Brian smiled, teasing his fingers across his lover’s chest. Ben waited for a few seconds for approval, and upon the careful incline of Brian’s head he leant down and tied it over his eyes.
Brian’s view was plunged into darkness as the cool silk was pulled taut around his face. He felt a weight shift on the bed by his feet as Ben got up, and every hair on his body stood on end as he waited with desperate anticipation for whatever Ben had planned. He found his four remaining senses had increased as his ears were picking up any slight sound that Ben was making at the other side of the room. Brian relaxed slightly as he heard soft footsteps towards the bed, and held his breath waiting for the first touch. Ben stood and watched him for a moment, spread out waiting for him, his muscles tensed in blind expectation. Then he slowly reached down, a feather light stroke of his hand grazing Brian’s cheek. Brian’s whole body quivered under his touch and Ben drew back briefly to pull his own top off. He quickly climbed onto the bed, placing one knee either side of Brian’s thighs and leaning forward slightly. He ran his hands along the exposed flesh in one smooth movement, gripping his shoulders as he reached them. Brian’s breath caught in his throat as he felt Ben’s body heat radiating so close to his chest and he blindly reached out with his arms. They made contact with Ben’s skin, quickly wrapping around his back and pulling their bodies closer. Ben pressed his lips to Brian’s chest, receiving an appreciative growl. He flicked out his tongue to taste the salty skin and dragged the tip down the middle. Brian’s back arched under his touch, his impaired sight increasing the sensation and making it seem a lot more erotic. A gasp escaped his lips as Ben worked his way down, sucking and kissing the smooth skin. He had just reached the waistband of his jeans and was playing with the button when the weight shifted off Brian and he was alone on the bed again.
“Ben?” he called out tentatively, obviously frustrated at the sudden lack of contact.
“Yeh I’m still here Bri.” Ben replied from somewhere near the door.
“What are you doing?” Brian asked curiously.
“Hmm just getting something, I’ll be right over.” Ben answered. Brian stretched out lightly, once again catching the faint breeze across his bare skin. Ben quickly crossed the room again and sat down on the bed next to Brian’s side. Brian felt something smooth and cold touch his lips, and he jumped slightly at the unexpected sensation. It glided across his skin, leaving a damp cold trail behind it. Brian allowed his tongue to dart out over his lips and recognised the taste of vanilla ice cream. He smiled as he licked the cream away and caught the unmistakable aroma of strawberries. Ben pushed the fruit against his mouth once more, and Brian willingly bit into it, dribbling some juice across his chin. Ben leant forward to catch the escaping rivulets with his tongue, gently teasing Brian with every lick before reaching up to kiss him. Their tongues mingled together, infused with the taste of strawberries and passion in their desperation to be close. They broke away, gasping for breath and Brian blindly oblivious to the obvious state of arousal that his partner was now in. Ben sat up slightly, and Brian gasped as the cold tip of another strawberry circled his nipple. The other received the same treatment as the icy cold touch relentlessly teased the small piece of flesh to erectness. Ben continued with his trail of ice cream further down Brian’s chest, pausing to dip some ice cream in his navel. He reached the waistband of his jeans and continued his work undoing the button. Brian moaned lightly as Ben brushed against his erect cock through the strained material, the sensation of feeling someone but not being able to see them was beyond description. Ben made light work of the jeans and they were quickly tossed in a heap on the floor. He dipped the end of the strawberry in some more ice cream and smeared it just above the material of Brian’s boxers. He leant down slowly and lapped at the cream, causing Brian to shudder underneath him at the combined hot and cold sensations. Ben hooked his fingers under the waistband and slowly pulled them off, sitting back for a moment to admire his lover’s naked perfection. His fingers absentmindedly moved across to trail lightly up Brian’s cock, causing contact with the skin for only the briefest of moments. Brian let out a low moan as he pushed his hips upwards, desperately attempting to receive more contact. Ben chuckled softly as he licked the ice-cream laden spoon and swirled the cool liquid around his mouth. He bent down and placed a light kiss on the inside of Brian's thigh, the icy touch of his lips sending shivers across his skin. He slowly continued upwards, kissing and licking at the waiting flesh, his cold tongue causing all manner of noises from Brian.
Ben swallowed another mouthful of ice cream before leaning forward and placing a kiss on the underside of Brian’s cock. His lover gasped in appreciation at the sensation and begged for more, causing Ben to smile slightly. He licked along the whole length before taking it in his mouth in one smooth stroke. Brian moaned loudly at the tantalising mix of hot and cold in Ben’s mouth and he arched his back impulsively. Ben played it by ear as he used the techniques that Brian had used on him before, remembering the sensations that had made him gasp and squirm. He flicked his tongue around the head as he pulled upwards before plunging down again relentlessly and working up a smooth rhythm. Brian’s hands found their way to Ben and tangled through his hair, urging him to go faster as his moans and gasps grew louder. Brian was in ecstasy as Ben’s hot mouth devoured him completely, the slight cold tinge from the ice cream making him shiver in delight. The fact that he couldn’t see anything just heightened the sensation, as he was completely oblivious to Ben’s next touch. He felt his orgasm growing nearer as Ben’s seemingly expert tongue flicked along his length. All other thoughts were pushed out of his mind as the incredible pressure at the base of his spine grew, sending spasms of delight over his body.
“Ben.. oh fuck Ben, I’m going to come.” He moaned breathily as he increased his grip in his hair. Ben smiled slightly and continued. He desperately wanted to please Brian and to taste him, to feel him completely be at mercy under his touch. Brian moaned loudly as he came, calling out Ben’s name and gasping for breath. Hot, white liquid shot into Ben’s mouth and he swallowed it on instinct, licking his lips as he pulled away. Ben could feel his own throbbing erection now begging for release, and he quickly pulled his own jeans and underwear off before climbing across Brian’s slick body. He kissed him desperately, plunging his tongue into his mouth and pushing his erection against his hip to let him know he still needed to come.
“Brian..” he whispered in his ear, “Can I fuck you?”
Brian growled softly at the words and felt the blood rushing to his groin again.
“Fuck me hard, baby.” He replied, groping blindly for Ben’s face. He slid his arms round his neck and pulled him down for another bruising kiss, letting their bodies press tightly together. Ben sat up slightly and was about to search through the bedside table for the necessaries when he felt Brian’s light touch on his arm. He turned back, slightly concerned.
“I want to see you.” Brian said as he indicated to his blindfold. Ben smiled softly and leant forward to untie it. He pulled it off and Brian blinked in the low light, waiting for his eyes to adjust. Ben resumed his search and eventually found a condom and a small tube of lube kept handy beside the bed. He turned back to Brian, smiling at the lustful gaze in his eyes and ripped open the packet. He rolled it over his hard cock and gasped at the long needed friction. He smeared some lube over his hands and quickly rubbed it along his length, before preparing Brian.
“Ben..” Brian whined softly, shifting slightly in his uncomfortable situation. “Please?”
Ben didn’t need asking twice as he lined himself up and thrust in forcefully. He moaned at the intense heat and started to move quickly, knowing that he wasn’t going to last very long. He rocked his hips vigorously as his hand snaked between their bodies to grasp Brian’s cock. Brian groaned loudly and pushed his hips forward to meet Ben’s desperately. His hands slid across his back, clinging onto his shoulder blades as he pulled their two bodies closer together. They moved seamlessly, two entities becoming one in a symphony of noise and delirium. Ben could feel himself drawing closer and he thrust harder and faster with a renewed passion. His whole body began to tingle and he threw himself forward onto Brian, slamming into his arse mercilessly. Brian gasped at the intense sensations flowing through his body as he built up to a second release. The blood in his ears was pounding and all he could see was Ben writhing above him. Ben opened his eyes and locked his gaze onto Brian’s. They watched each other as they came, total bliss and satisfaction washing over their expressions. Brian shot his load onto his stomach as Ben came deep inside him, their bodies mingling as one in a final, furious release of noise and passion. They fell into each others arms, breathing heavily and drenched in sweat yet extremely content. Ben pulled out of Brian gently, and threw the used condom in the bin. He settled back down next to him, pulling the covers over them and wrapping his arm around his small waist.
“I love you.” He murmured as he kissed his neck.
“I love you too.” Brian replied, pushing backwards against Ben’s warm body and closing his eyes.
Chapter 8:
Monday 4th April
Brian awoke to the extremely contented feeling that he was loved. A strong, safe arm was firmly twisted around his stomach and soft breathing tickled the skin on the back of his neck. He kept his eyes firmly shut and smiled slightly, trying to savour the feeling of a warm body pressed against his. Ben sighed in his sleep and moved a little, disturbing Brian’s comfortable position. Brian rolled over and grudgingly climbed out of bed after realising he was now far too awake to fall asleep again. He made his way into the shower and turned on the jet of hot water, leaning back against the cool tiles and letting the water run over his body. He closed his eyes as the liquid washed away the grime from the previous day and let his mind wander.
He was still mentally chastising himself for not telling Ben the whole truth yesterday. As nice as it was to declare their love to each other he had really wanted to ask him to live with him. It was like the final step in a serious relationship, and one that Brian was keen to undertake. But the timing of events had been rather inappropriate, what with Clémantine coming with them to the cinema after the fiasco with Luc. Although she knew of Brian’s plans to ask Ben to live with him, he felt it was a subject he should approach Ben on his own. Then the little thing that Ben had planned at home, it seemed too perfect a moment to break with a potentially fatal question. Brian sighed to himself. Who would have thought it would be this difficult to ask one simple question? It was as if it was fate’s way of telling him they weren’t meant to be together. But he was adamant that Ben would know everything before Monday was over. He would reveal the lot at the end of the day, once they had finished whatever they had planned.
Brian turned the shower off and stepped out of the cubicle, grabbing a towel from the back of the door. He roughly dried his short hair before wrapping the towel around his waist and wandering back into the bedroom. Ben was still where he had left him, spread out on the mattress and his face half buried under the duvet. Brian smiled at the sight and crept up to the bed, sitting on the side and leaning down towards Ben. He pressed his lips against his cheek and pulled back slightly, giggling as Ben’s nose wrinkled in his sleep. He tried again, this time pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth and sat back satisfied as Ben’s eyelids flickered open. He watched as his eyes focused and his brain slowly registered the person sitting in front of him.
“Hey” Ben muttered as his lips twitched into a sleepy smile.
“Hey” Brian replied, reaching out to stroke his lover’s hair.
“How comes you’re up so early?” Ben asked, attempting to sit up slightly.
“Dunno, I just woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep.” Brian replied as he looked at the clock. “How comes you’re up so late?” he added as he smirked.
“Well some of us do work for a living!” Ben said indignantly. “Plus I had a really good shag last night..”
“Mmm..” Brian replied, grinning as he remembered the previous night.
“So what do we have planned for today?” Ben asked, looking hopeful that Brian would say nothing.
“I do believe we agreed to be on Marguerite and Claude’s team for the bowls competition?” Brian said after thinking for a second. Ben groaned and pulled the duvet above his head.
“Oh god no… That thing is so boring, why did we agree to it again?” he moaned, his voiced muffled through the quilt.
“Actually correction, you agreed to it when you were drunk.” Brian reminded him. Ben poked his head out from behind the duvet wearing a pitiful face.
“Really? Oh god I’m sorry.. We might die of boredom you know..” he said as he frowned.
“It might be fun.” Brian tried to reason brightly.
“I’ll remind you of those words later when you are contemplating trying to drown yourself in the sandpit.” Ben said darkly, still hiding in the safe confines of his quilt. Brian laughed at the grave expression on his face and pulled the duvet off him.
“Ok it’s going to be awfully boring, but at least we get the post-competition drink in the pub.” He reminded him.
“I suppose so.” Ben said, playing with his fingers like a child. Brian just smiled and sat watching him, taking in everything from his messed up hair to his still half asleep expression. Ben looked up as he realised he was being watched.
“What?” he asked curiously.
“You look adorable.” Brian said as he leant down to kiss him.
“So do you, all post shower and only wearing a towel.” Ben smiled as they broke away, pulling the smaller man on top of him and covering them with the duvet again. Brian linked his fingers with one of Ben’s hands and twisted his other around his neck. He leant down slowly and brushed their lips tenderly together. He parted his mouth a little and kissed Ben a little more insistently, slipping his tongue past his lips. Ben’s free hand moved across Brian’s back, kneading his shoulder blades and pulling them closer so their chests were pressed firmly together. Brian ground his hips against Ben as their kisses became more needy, and he eventually broke away gasping for air.
“Why Mr Molko, anyone would think you were trying to turn me on.” Ben said breathlessly.
“Mmm that’s the idea..” Brian mumbled, winking at him and moving down to place kisses on his neck.
They rolled out of bed half an hour later, both satisfied and smiling. Brian proceeded to shove Ben into the shower whilst trying to ignore his protests.
“But..”
“Go!”
“I want to keep your scent on me..”
“Nice try, now go.”
“But..”
“You’re sweaty and covered in goodness knows what, do you really want to face Marguerite in that state? Now go shower!”
“Ok..”
Brian hummed to himself as he picked out some clothes for the coming day from Ben’s wardrobe. He eventually settled for some ever-useful jeans and a plain black sleeveless top. He was just applying his eyeliner in the mirror when he felt someone staring at him. Brian turned around to see Ben smiling at him, clad only in a pair of jeans.
“How do you get it so perfect?” he asked curiously.
“Practice.” Brian winked at him, carefully tidying his make-up away.
“How long have you been.. er..” Ben started, stepping towards Brian.
“Wearing make-up?” Brian finished for him, continuing upon the nod of his head. “Since, well, since I moved to London really. I mean I had tried it when I was in my drama club in Luxembourg but when I moved I kind of wanted to re-invent myself, you know? Plus I figured I looked good in it.”
Ben smiled as he stepped forward, placing his hands on Brian’s sides.
“Mmm yes you do..” he said as he leant down to place a kiss on his lips. “Could we.. try some on me?”
Brian blinked at him for a moment as they drew back.
“You want me to put some make-up on you?” he asked carefully as though he was suspecting a trick.
“Well yeah I’ve always been curious. Unless you think I’d look crap in it..” Ben replied, looking away as he bit his lip. Brian’s face broke out into a large grin as he grabbed Ben’s shoulders and led him to the bed.
“Not at all! I think you’ll look great!” he said as he rummaged around in his make-up bag. “What should I do?”
“Uhm I don’t know. Nothing over the top you know. Just subtle.” Ben replied, looking quite nervous at the prospect of being at Brian’s mercy.
“Subtle, ok.” Brian said, his tongue between his teeth in concentration. “Now close your eyes and don’t fidget.”
After about ten minutes of poking and prodding Brian stepped back and announced he was finished. Ben hesitantly got to his feet and went to inspect his face in the mirror. He was actually surprised at what he discovered and continued to carefully study his reflection. His eyes had been thinly lined with dark eyeliner, and there were an assortment of greys creating slight shadows on the top of his eyelids. It accentuated his eyes perfectly, but not so much as to make him look ridiculous or over the top.
“Is it ok?” Brian asked hesitantly as he turned back.
“It looks great! How the hell do you do it? I was imagining ending up looking like a drag queen.” Ben replied, laughing a little.
“What do you take me for?” Brian asked as he broke into a smile. “I think you look gorgeous anyway. I’m not going to be able to resist you today with your bowls..” he finished with a cheeky smirk.
“Oh shit, speaking of bowls we had better get a move on.” Ben exclaimed as he realised the time and frantically started trying to find a shirt. Brian smiled amusedly as he watched his boyfriend hopping around the bedroom waving socks in the air and felt glad that he was ready first for once.
They arrived at the guesthouse slightly late with an exasperated Ben who had spent ten minutes trying to find his house keys only to realise they were in his pocket. Marguerite and Claude were already waiting outside on the pavement looking rather impatient and accompanied by an old man with an extremely curious moustache.
“There you are.” Marguerite sighed, waving her hands to get everyone moving. “Ben, Brian, this is Jacques. He’s an old friend of Claude’s and will be on our team. Seeing as Clémantine pulled out due to an injury.” She rolled her eyes at the last statement. Ben and Brian nodded their welcomes and they all set off down the road to the village square.
“I didn’t even know Clém was in the team.” Brian said quietly to Ben once they had been walking for a few minutes.
“Me either, she certainly kept that quiet. And injury my arse. I bet she’s sitting at home relaxing and laughing at the thought of us going through torture.” Ben replied. Brian sniggered as he took Ben’s hand.
“Oh come on. I’m sure we can find ways to keep ourselves entertained. Jacques looks like a real interesting one.” He said, causing the pair to burst out into laughter. Marguerite, Claude and Jacques turned round to see what the fuss was, and with a stern look from Marguerite the pair tried to calm themselves down.
They eventually came to the village square, which had been set up with chairs, sandpits and team areas. Ben let out a low groan as they realised that most of the team members were double their age. Brian gave his hand a re-assuring squeeze and they followed their team to the registration table.
“Team name please?” a rather boring lady with glasses on the end of her nose asked them. Marguerite turned back towards them.
“Oh I forgot about that. We need a team name, idea’s anyone?” she asked looking slightly flustered.
“The flying cocks” Brian offered helpfully with a cheeky grin as Ben clamped a hand over his mouth. Jacques shot them a stern look and continued to suggest names. They eventually settled on “Les Martinets” to the disappointment of Brian, who still thought his idea was the best.
There were 10 minutes to go until the competition started and Marguerite, Claude and Jacques were warming up with a disturbing amount of vigour. Ben and Brian were sat down watching, although Brian was fidgeting like an excited child.
“So who are we playing first?” He asked as he turned his attention from their ancient team mates.
“Les renards rapides” Ben replied instantly without a hint of interest in his voice.
“Oh so that would make them the team opposite us with bright orange, fox emblazoned team strips on?” Brian asked curiously, indicating to the team opposite. Ben followed his gaze and was almost blinded by the amount of fluorescent orange radiating from the other team’s area. He stared in shock for a few seconds, blinking and not really believing his eyes.
“Wow.. Er.. Orange. They really take the game seriously..” he said eventually, still shaking his head. They both gazed at the opposition for a few more seconds before bursting out into uncontrollable giggles. Jacques paused from his leg stretches to glare at them like a scolding parent and they quickly tried to hush their laughter into hacking coughs. They were saved the trouble of having to act innocently though as the competition umpire announced that the first round was about to start.
"Attention everyone. Can Les Martinets and Les Renardes Rapides please make their way to the court? The competition is about to begin." he said loudly. Ben grudgingly got to his feet and followed his enthusiastic team to the sand-covered court amidst a spattering of applause from the meagre crowd. The other team went first and threw the jack to the back of the square. Brian stared in astonishment at the distance his own brass balls were meant to travel.
"How the hell am I meant to get it that far?" He complained to Ben.
"Just throw it and hope for the best?" Ben suggested with a shrug of his shoulders. Brian frowned as he watched the other team throw their first ball, and a loud cheer went around as it landed a few centimetres away from the jack. He sighed with frustration as he realised his own team mates were waiting expectantly for his turn and he got to his feet and made his way to the front of the sandpit.
Brian stood, arms poised holding his brass ball and feeling the eyes of all the crowd boring into him. He tensed his muscles as he swung his arm back and threw the ball as hard as he could. It sailed high above the sandpit before landing with a pitiful thud miles away from the jack. He could hear the silence as the dust settled and his crap shot sunk in, and he turned dejectedly back to his team. Ben gave him an encouraging smile and beckoned him onto his lap. Brian watched as Marguerite stepped up for her turn before climbing onto Ben's knees, settling his legs either side of his lover’s thighs.
"I was crap.." Brian said, gesturing hopelessly towards the sandpit.
"Yeh you were." Ben admitted and watched as his boyfriends face broke into a small smile.
"You're not meant to tell me that! You're meant to encourage me!" Brian said, trying to act serious but allowing a giggle to slip through his words.
"Well I have other ways of encouraging you.." Ben replied slyly and laughed at Brian's curious expression.
"Oh?" Brian asked, raising his eyebrow.
"Show you in a second." Ben said as he lifted Brian up and got to his feet. "It's my turn."
Brian stood and stared as Ben effortlessly strode up to the sandpit and threw a ball right beside the jack, knocking the opponents ball out of the way.
"How the fuck?" he asked dumbfoundedly when Ben returned amidst cheers from the rest of their team.
"I've had to play a lot.." Ben shrugged as he resumed his position sitting down, easily pulling the smaller man back onto his lap. "Now I do believe I was going to encourage you?" he whispered into Brian's ear.
"Mmm yes.." Brian replied, shivering slightly as a delicate hand wound its way round the back of his neck. Ben drew their faces closer together, slipping his tongue out to trace lightly over Brian's soft pink lips. Brian opened his mouth slightly in anticipation, whimpering as Ben pulled back teasingly. Ben smiled before pushing his mouth hungrily against Brian's with a passion and fervor the other had never felt before. Their lips opened eagerly to allow their tongues to intertwine, pulling them closer together. Ben allowed his other hand to trace the small bumps along Brian's spine as their kissing became more intense. He sucked on his bottom lip, allowing his teeth to scrape against the eager flesh and feeling Brian subconsciously grind his hips lightly. They pulled away as they became aware of a polite coughing from behind them. Claude reached out to tap Brian on his shoulder.
"Erm.. it's er.. your turn." He offered as Brian climbed unsteadily from his lovers lap. He walked in a daze towards the sandpit before picking a brass ball up from the floor. He attempted to focus on the jack which was proving quite difficult as most of the blood from his brain seemed to have collected somewhere else in his body. He raised his arm shakily and threw the ball, watching in surprise as it flew through the air and landed neatly next to Ben's.
"Talk about inspiration.." He muttered to himself as he turned back to smile at his teammates.
Somehow Les Martinets managed to win their first game, despite Brian's mostly crap throws. They were now waiting around for the rest of the first round games to be over. Brian had started off watching the other teams with interest, thinking he could maybe learn some of their tactics and game plans. He had long since given up on this though as he had discovered it to be incredibly boring. He had taken to lounging about on Ben's lap, commenting languidly on some shit throws and other random occurrences.
"Why did we agree to this?" he said eventually after half an hour of doing nothing. Ben grinned at him and poked him in the side.
"I told you it would be boring." he said triumphantly.
"At least I haven't contemplated drowning myself in the sandpit." Brian retaliated, poking his tongue out.
"Ahh you will.." Ben replied knowingly.
"But then you wouldn't get any tonight.." Brian said teasingly. Ben thought about this comment for a moment before wrapping his arms tightly around Brian's waist.
"Ok you, stay away from the sandpit!" he joked, pulling Brian closer to his chest.
"Yes daddy." Brian replied innocently. Ben felt his cock twitch at Brian's words and squirmed uncomfortably underneath him. Brian looked at him in curiosity.
"What’s wrong?" he asked, before noticing Ben's flushed face and expression. "Oh.. OH!" He turned his body round so he was facing the other.
“You liked that didn’t you?” he cooed teasingly. Ben shifted under his weight and tried to look anywhere else than at Brian, but it didn’t seem to work. Brian somehow made his soft green eyes appear even larger and opened his mouth slightly, his index finger toying on his bottom lip.
“I’ll do anything you want..” he whispered coyly, smirking at the effect it seemed to have on his partner as Ben gulped nervously.
“Brian, please.. not here..” he pleaded quietly.
“Oh don’t worry dear, I wouldn’t want to put you off your bowls.” Brian winked at him, “But really, what an odd place to discover your boyfriends kink!”
Ben simply nodded, desperately trying to keep his concentration from waning.
“So..what do we win for coming first?” Brian asked, interrupting Ben’s thoughts.
“Erm.. 12 bottles of cum..wine.” Ben blushed furiously as he realised his mistake, causing a dirty grin from Brian.
“Mmm, sounds worth winning.” He smiled.
“Mind you, even if we lost we’d still probably go for a post-celebratory piss up.” Ben remembered as he regained his composure.
“But if we lost what would we be celebrating?” Brian asked in a confused manner.
“Your crap throws.” Ben retaliated with a wicked smirk. Brian set about punishing him in the form of tickling and poking until they were called for their next game.
Finally after 5 hours of extreme boredom and bowls the competition was over. Predictably Les Martinets didn’t win but came third instead, earning them a fetching Blue rosette to share between the team. Brian stared at it disdainfully as the winning team went up to collect their prize.
“They could have at least given us one bottle for coming third..” he commented.
“Oh well, we’re going to the pub in a minute anyway.” Ben tried to cheer him up.
They watched in silence as a group of 50 year olds named “Bourré Brouhaha” gleefully collected their case of wine and made a long-winded speech.
“Seriously how did they win over us?” Brian said as he pointed at the old team on the stage.
“They’re better than us?” Ben offered with a shrug of his shoulders.
“No, they must be on steroids! Look at the women on the left, she’s got a moustache!” Brian giggled helplessly, Ben soon joining him as he followed Brian’s gaze to the woman in question.
Eventually the speech was over and “Les Martinets” fled from the competition area to avoid nasty stares from the organisers for not helping to pack everything away. They strolled down the road, the other three in quite high spirits for coming in the top three. Ben and Brian stayed behind a little bit thinking up ways they could have spent their day better.
They soon arrived at the local pub and took a large table near the entrance. Jacques went off to the bar to buy the first round while the other four got settled, and Brian decided that he was an alright bloke after all.
Brian found himself a bit uncomfortable sitting in the pub with Marguerite, Claude and Jacques. He wasn’t quite sure how to act as he had spent most of his time around younger, like-minded people. He sat quietly, commenting on a few topics and trying to refrain from getting himself drunk so he wouldn’t do anything stupid. Ben seemed a little more relaxed but he was noticeably trying to keep his distance from Brian as he didn’t know how the others would react to them being all over each other in such close proximity.
Brian took the opportunity of a long silence to go to the bar for another round of drinks. He was surprised when Marguerite got to her feet to follow him.
“Are you and Ben ok? You seem a little quiet.” She asked in a soft voice.
“Uhm.. we’re fine..” Brian tried to lie rather unconvincingly.
“Don’t be stupid. You’ve both been on tenterhooks ever since we got in here. You throw us nervous glances if you so much as breathe in each other’s direction.” Marguerite said, “Don’t worry. I know you’re together, Claude knows you’re together, and Jacques certainly won’t care.” She gave Brian a re-assuring smile.
“Thanks. We just felt a bit.. uncomfortable, you know?” Brian replied.
“Yes I understand. Now how about we ease your tensions with some shots?” Marguerite grinned wickedly as she turned to place an order with the barman. Brian just stared at her in disbelief.
Half an hour later and Brian found himself for some odd reason under the table, with a maniacal giggling in his ear. Upon returning back from the bar with a bottle of strong liquor and some shot glasses, the idea of a drinking game had been suggested immediately. Pretty soon the group were in various states of inebriation and it had the desired effect of loosening everyone up. Brian looked at the legs around him and tried to remember how he got under the table, but it seemed too difficult a task for his alcohol drenched mind so instead he set about the onerous job of getting back to his chair. He crawled on his hands and knees across the floor and clawed at the seat, pulling himself up, though not before he knocked the back of his head on the table edge. He saw Ben’s amused face smiling at him as he managed to position himself suitably on his chair.
“Uhm.. why was I on the floor?” he asked with a degree of difficulty.
“You were on the floor?” Ben asked, his expression quickly switching to confused.
“Never mind.” Brian replied, waving his hand to dispose of the thought. “So, your place or mine tonight?”
“Yours. It’s closer. Plus I think we’ll be needing to give them some help home.” Ben said as he indicated towards Marguerite and Jacques, who was currently trying to explain that he couldn’t carry hedgehogs in his moustache. Brian couldn’t help but smile as he agreed; the other three certainly seemed a lot more drunk than him. Not that he was drunk. Just slightly disorientated and confused.
Brian was amusing himself playing with Ben’s fingers when he noticed someone was shouting his name. He looked up to see Clémantine swiftly making her way through the mass of chairs and tables. She eventually found herself at their table and collapsed in the chair next to Brian.
“Clémantine! What brings you here?” he smiled jovially at her.
“I wanted to see how you did in the competition, plus the obligatory drink.” She replied as she smiled back.
“Ahh the competition was boring as fuck. But we came third. Didn’t we Ben?” Brian said as he prodded his partner in the side.
“Third.. yeh.” Ben commented as he tried to follow the conversation. “Why weren’t you in the competition?” he said accusingly as he finally noticed Clémantine’s presence.
“I couldn’t bear to take away the fun from you two.” She laughed as she stole a mouthful of his drink.
“Oh well thank you very much. We were bored out of our minds and you were probably laughing your arse off at home.” Ben complained, trying to work out where his drink had gone.
“Yeh that sounds about right.” Clémantine replied with a grin. Ben turned back to the other three as Marguerite asked him a question, and Clémantine took the opportunity to speak to Brian.
“I take it you haven’t told him yet.” She asked quietly.
“No..” Brian said, avoiding her gaze. “I haven’t had a chance today. But I’m telling him tonight, when he’s a bit more sober back at the guesthouse.”
“Ok, but you have to remember to ring me afterwards. I need to know what he says.” Clémantine reminded him. Brian nodded and was just about to reply when the foreboding figure of Nicolas came striding towards them.
“Oh piss off. We’re trying to have a nice night, we don’t need you ruining it.” Brian sighed as Nicolas threw a newspaper onto the table.
“Oh don’t worry.” He sneered, “I won’t be here for long. Just want to inform you of your latest media hype, Molko.”
Brian’s face turned white as he pulled the paper towards him and scanned the page it was open on.
PLACEBO TO SPLIT?
Record company bosses were left in the dark last week as renowned Placebo front man Brian Molko fled the recording studio. His band mates insist it is just a temporary holiday but rumours are growing in his lengthy absence. Could this spell the end of the androgynous Britpop threesome?
“Did your tiring band life get too much for you?” Nicolas jested, “So you decided to come and ruin our village instead?”
“Brian? What’s going on?” Ben asked quietly, noticing the paper and Brian’s blank stare. He turned to read the article, a hush falling over the table for a moment.
“Band?” he asked as he finished, a confused look gracing his features. “But you’re a writer?”
Nicolas’ satisfied smirk grew even wider.
“A writer?!” he exclaimed incredulously. “So lover boy’s been lying to everyone! No dear, I think you’ll find Brian Molko is the lead singer of a rock band, well known for fucking as many people as they can.”
Ben looked hopelessly from Nicolas’ jeering figure to Brian, hoping what he had just heard wasn’t the truth.
“Brian.. tell me this isn’t true..” he stammered quietly, well aware that everyone on the table had hushed. Brian’s guilty silence said it all, and Ben quickly got to his feet and fled from the pub. Nicolas stayed a moment longer to inspect the damage caused before leaving with a contented grin.
Brian sat still for a moment in shock, sobriety quickly invading his body. As the past few minutes’ events finally sank in he got quickly to his feet with the intention of following Ben out of the door. He was stopped however by a resounding slap across the face.
Clémantine was facing him looking every inch the angry Frenchwoman, hand poised as if ready to deal another blow.
“What the
fuck do you think you are playing at?” she yelled, her usually calm face contorted with anger.
“Clém, please.. I have to go and explain to Ben..” Brian stammered, truly overwhelmed by his friend.
“Too right you have the fucking explain. You’ve been lying to us all.” She continued as she gestured wildly to the shocked crowd seated at the table.
“And I will explain, but please I have to see Ben.” Brian tried to reason with her.
“Well I hope he finishes with you, after you told him you loved him and everything. And that’s why you’re going home, you’ve got priorities elsewhere..” Clémantine ranted, as Brian made a wild dash past her arms and out of the pub door. He started to run as soon as he got onto the street, instinctively heading in the direction of Ben’s home.
Brian soon arrived at the familiar front gate, panting and sweating from the effort of running. He pushed it open impatiently and jogged up the path, almost tripping over the huddled figure of his boyfriend on the way. He looked down to find Ben curled up in a tight ball about half a metre from his doorstep, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably.
“Ben.. why..” Brian started to ask quietly.
“Because I couldn’t fucking get the door open.” Ben spat as he sensed his question, vaguely motioning to his keys on the floor, which had been thrown down in a rage.
“Ben I.. I need to explain.” Brian started pathetically, squatting down to the same level.
“Explain?” Ben cried loudly, raising his head to look Brian in the eye, “What is there to explain?! You’ve been lying to me. You’ve been lying to everyone.”
“I know I have and I’m sorry.” Brian admitted.
“Sorry is not use now.” Ben replied scathingly as he looked down again.
“I couldn’t help myself. I just didn’t want you to know the truth.” Brian whispered.
“And what is the truth? How can I be sure that everything you’ve told me isn’t a lie?” Ben argued bitterly, fresh tears dampening his cheeks.
“I love you. That’s not a lie.” Brian said, turning to look at him sincerely. Ben stayed silent as he held his gaze for a moment.
“Can we at least go inside? I don’t want to sit in the street and argue.” Brian asked finally, getting to his feet as he received no reply from Ben. He held out his arm to the man on the floor.
“Let me help you inside.” He offered quietly.
“It’s the least you can do..” Ben said as he accepted his arm and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. Brian wrapped an arm supportively around his waist and helped his trembling lover inside the front door. He led him over to a chair at the back of the kitchen and then leant back on the work surfaces, pulling out a cigarette.
“So Brian. What is the truth?” Ben said coldly.
“I’m not a writer. Well I do write, but songs. I’m the lead singer and guitarist in a rock band called Placebo.” Brian explained softly.
“And Stef and Steve are your band mates I assume?” Ben asked without a hint of emotion in his voice. Brian nodded in response.
“Why did you lie to me?” Ben said, allowing a slight desperation to show. Brian looked into his eyes and saw raw pain and hurt, and it made him feel like shit.
“People have automatically created a media image for me. A gender-fucking rock bitch who doesn’t care what or who he does. When I tell people what I do they immediately assume I’m this person, and I didn’t want you to think the same.” Brian confessed.
“And are you a gender-fucking rock bitch who doesn’t care?” Ben asked as he avoided his gaze.
“You tell me.” Brian replied quickly. “I’ve just been myself around you. Just Brian.”
“When were you planning on telling me?” Ben questioned, his voice quivering slightly.
“Tonight.” Brian replied truthfully, causing a raised eyebrow from Ben. “I was meant to tell you last night, but all that stuff happened with Clémantine.”
“But if you are a rock star, you can have anyone you want. Why me?” Ben asked. Brian shifted a bit closer to him as he stubbed out his cigarette in a nearby ashtray.
“Because I fell in love with you. Because you are the sweetest, kindest person I have ever met in a long time. Because you loved me for who I am.” Brian said as he moved towards him.
“Didn’t give me much choice on the last one..” Ben said sarcastically, though his heart just wanted to give in and wrap his arms around Brian.
“Why did you come to Laitue Bécote?” he asked, as his questions became less accusing.
“What I told you before. I had a bad writers block and I needed some time off to get rid of it.” Brian replied.
“So your band have been in the studio then?” Ben asked, his curiosity growing.
“Yes we just started recording a new album.” Brian replied dutifully.
“But that would mean.. they would want you back in the recording studio soon..” Ben said slowly, as if to clarify it with himself.
“Well yes..” Brian said quietly, wishing he could have revealed the information at a more suitable time.
“How soon?” Ben asked impatiently. Brian just looked at the floor.
“HOW SOON BRIAN?” Ben yelled, getting to his feet and leaning over Brian with his threatening stature, tears filling his red eyes again.
“Thursday.” Brian finally admitted weakly.
Ben was silent. He stared at Brian and moved back slightly. When he finally spoke it was slowly and quietly.
“You are leaving.. on Thursday?” he asked, his voice trembling. Brian nodded his head in response, too ashamed to speak. He clenched his fists and waited for the torrent of accusations to start, but it didn't.
“And were you ever going to mention that to me?” Ben asked calmly which surprised himself.
“Tonight. I was going to tell you everything tonight.” Brian replied desperately, stepping towards Ben. Ben moved back as if disgusted.
“How do you want me to react Brian? Do you want me to nod calmly and say that everything is ok? Because I don't feel ok.” he said as his voice started to waver.
“Ben, I was-” Brian started to protest, but Ben cut him off.
“No Brian. How can you explain your way out of this one? Do you have an excuse for using me?” Ben continued. He broke down at the last sentence, choking back a sob and letting the tears roll freely down his face again.
“You fucking used me.” He yelled as he turned and ran through the back door into the cool night air. Brian ran after him, clutching at his arm desperately.
“Please Ben, I-” he tried to plead.
“DON'T TOUCH ME!” Ben screamed as he shook away Brian's grip. “Am I just one of your groupies? A quick fuck and a bit of fun while you're on holiday? Then you can forget about me when you fly home again?”
“Ben I would never think that of you. I love you, you have to believe me.” Brian said softly as he held Ben's gaze.
“Oh yeh. You love me so much you're flying back to a different country in three days.” Ben scoffed through his sniffing, still glaring at the smaller man.
“No Ben.. I .. oh I want you to come with me.” Brian replied, watching his face closely for a reaction.
“What?” Ben asked as a shocked expression crept over his face.
“You heard me. I want you to come back to London with me.” Brian repeated with a little less confidence. He felt his stomach churn as his lover stood in a dumbfounded silence and prayed that he hadn't made the wrong decision. Ben felt his legs buckle beneath him and he staggered backwards before collapsing on a nearby chair. Brian stayed where he was, the silence making him feel a little uneasy. After what seemed like an eternity Ben spoke.
“You.. you want me to live with you?” he asked quietly, his face drained of colour.
“Well yes. That is if you want to..” Brian confirmed quietly, now dreading that Ben would reject him. Ben stared at him silently, watching his expression and trying to judge if he meant what he said. The look he received back was so sincere and heartfelt that he felt positive Brian wanted it. He quickly ran through it in his head and came to a conclusion. Brian was now convinced he had made a mistake and was just about to turn on his heel and run when the slightest movement from Ben stopped him. His heart froze as he watched carefully in the darkness and barely made out Ben's face tilting into a nod. A lump rose uncomfortably in his throat and he choked on his words as he spoke.
“You.. want to?” he asked, trying to confirm it in the confusion of everything. Slowly, but more confidently Ben nodded again. Brian waited a second before running across the damp grass and throwing himself onto Ben. He flung his arms around his neck and sobbed freely into his shoulder, smiling as he felt Ben's hesitant hands gripping him tightly around his waist.
“I love you.” Brian said, his voice muffled through Ben's shirt.
“I love you too.” Ben replied as he gently lifted Brian's head up. They laughed softly despite themselves at the state they were in. Both had smeared makeup running down their cheeks as a result of the tears and their eyes were sore and red.
“So, when are we going home then?” Ben asked. Brian screwed his eyes up in concentration as he tried to remember.
“Uhm.. Wednesday afternoon. Because they want me in the studio on Thursday morning.” he said after a while and Ben nodded in reply.
“So I have a lot to do tomorrow then. Like go and quit that shitty job for starters.” he smiled. “Oh and go talk to.. Clémantine.. what am I going to do about her?” Ben frowned.
“Don't worry. I've spoken to her about it already. I'm gonna do everything it takes to get her to London as often as possible.” Brian reassured him.
“Oh so you've been plotting against me now?” Ben smirked.
“Something like that..” Brian smiled.
Ben held Brian closer to his chest and they stayed in a comfortable silent embrace for a while. Eventually he coughed to clear his throat and spoke.
“Um, it’s getting a bit cold. Do you want to go inside?” he asked quietly. Brian contemplated this for a moment before lifting his head to look up at him.
“No, I’d rather stay under the stars tonight.” He replied. Ben smiled and nodded.
“A true romantic at heart.” Ben mused, “I’ll just go and get a blanket.”
Brian climbed off his lap and watched patiently whilst Ben got up and retrieved a tartan blanket from inside the kitchen. Ben quickly returned and wrapped himself in the blue and green chequered material, settling himself back on the large garden chair. He motioned for Brian to resume his previous position and pulled the warm blanket around both their bodies. Brian leant back against Ben’s chest and comforted himself with the steady rise and fall of his lover’s breathing. He smiled as Ben’s arms found their rightful place around his waist and soon fell into a contented sleep.
Chapter 9:Tuesday 5th April
Brian awoke to the loud, aggravating sound of birds chirping in the morning air. He opened his eyes in shock and glared at the nearby trees as if to catch the culprit. The birds sang on undeterred however, so Brian rubbed his eyes and untangled the blanket from his legs. He stood up unsteadily and nearly fell over before realising his left foot had gone numb. His muttered curses were loud enough to jolt Ben’s mind into consciousness and his eyes opened grudgingly. Brian smiled at the sleepy look on the taller mans face and helped him to his feet, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
“Morning.” He said brightly, “Coffee?”
“Mmhm.” Came Ben’s mumbled reply and they both traipsed into the kitchen, leaving the blanket behind on the chair.
Brian pottered around the cupboards preparing coffee and looking every inch the domesticated goddess whilst Ben sat at the table and relived the previous night’s conversation in his head. A hot cup of aromatic liquid was soon placed in front of him as Brian joined him at the table, lighting an obligatory morning cigarette.
“So,” Ben said as he blew cold air over his coffee, rippling the surface, “Tell me about Placebo.”
Brian looked as though he had been expecting the sentence and took a long drag before speaking.
“Well we are a trio who have been writing music together since 1994. Our first album was released in 1996 and we have had 4 studio albums and one singles collection.” He reeled off as though the facts were imprinted in his mind.
“Wow you’ve been together quite some time then.” Ben said sounding slightly impressed. “What kind of music do you play?”
“Mostly rock music I would say.” Brian replied after some consideration to his band’s genre.
“And are you famous?” Ben asked.
“Well our last album sold over a million copies and we sold out a concert at Wembley arena last November. I’d say we were quite well known.” Brian responded with a hint of pride in his voice.
“I must say I’m impressed. Though I feel a little ashamed that I hadn’t heard of you before.” Ben smiled.
“Well I’m glad you hadn’t. Or we probably wouldn’t be together.” Brian replied, returning the smile.
“So I suppose being such a famous band, you tour a lot?” Ben finally asked the question he had wanted to know.
“Yeah. Most of our tours last over a year on and off.” Brian said with a sigh, “It gets a bit stressful.”
“So prospective partners don’t get to see much of you?”
“Well that all depends on where we are touring and whether said prospective partner likes the bus. We are allowed tour bus guests.” Brian replied as he realised what Ben was getting at.
“And how long can tour bus guests stay for?” Ben asked as his mood lightened considerably.
“As long as they can bear it. Stef’s boyfriend managed the whole of our last European tour.” Brian grinned.
“Well that’s good to know. I was thinking you would fly off and leave me a month after I moved in with you!” Ben admitted with a laugh.
“Aww never. Plus we won’t start touring until about 2 months.” Brian joked. “Anything else you want to know?”
Ben thought for a moment before coming up with a question.
“Groupies?” he said, his face quite serious.
“Used to. But the novelty wore off after a few years. Plus they all started to look like me and I’m really not that narcissistic.” Brian replied honestly, bringing a smirk to Ben’s face.
“Fan’s look like you?” he asked, trying not to giggle.
“Well you know, too much black eye shadow and eyeliner for their own good. Plus they tend to copy my hairstyle. From the bob to the flick to the crop to the mullet.” Brian rolled his eyes.
“You had a bob?” Ben asked, trying to imagine his boyfriend with long hair.
“Yeah back when I used to wear dresses.” Brian replied casually.
“You wore
dresses?!” Ben exclaimed.
“Oh dear, I obviously still have a lot to tell you!” Brian laughed.
“Well that can be a story for later, because now I have to have a shower, get dressed and go and quit my job.” Ben said as he got to his feet, disposing of his mug in the sink.
“And see Clémantine.” Brian added. “And perhaps go tell your other friends you are moving to a different country tomorrow?”
“Oh yeah, that might be a good idea.” Ben agreed. “What are you doing today?”
“Go and see Clém after you. I need to explain myself. Then go to the guesthouse to get our stuff and talk to Marguerite and Claude.” Brian said as he joined Ben by the sink.
“Sounds like a busy day. I propose we get pissed later to celebrate.” Ben suggested.
“Now that’s a plan” Brian smiled as they headed to the shower.
Ben knocked hesitantly on the familiar front door and rocked back and forth on his heels, shifting his balance nervously. He waited for what seemed like hours before he heard a clattering in the front hall and Clémantine opened the door looking slightly harassed. A smile instantly appeared on her face as she took in Ben's form and stood aside to let him in. He stepped through into the living room and took a seat on the sofa, patting the cushion beside him to indicate Clémantine should join him.
“So..” Clémantine started after a short silence, “Did Brian find you last night?”
“Yeh he did.” Ben replied, nodding his head.
“And?” She pressed the matter further.
“We had an argument, then he explained why he did it and I forgave him.” Ben said slowly.
“You forgave him?!” Clémantine exclaimed looking shocked. “But he lied to us!”
“Yes he lied. And he explained his reasons and I forgave him.” Ben reasoned.
“So what was his brilliant excuse then?” Clémantine replied sarcastically.
“That's not my place to say. Brian will explain to you later.” Ben said turning to look at her. She held his gaze seriously, still not looking in the slightest bit impressed.
“Look Clém, I believe him, isn't my judgment good enough for you? I don't want you to hate Brian.. I love him.” Ben said sadly.
“Ok I'll give him a chance, just for you. But I want to hear his reasons for lying to everyone he met in this village.” Clémantine replied after a while. Ben smiled with relief and swept her into a hug, pulling her close to his chest.
“Thank you.” he said sincerely when they broke away, “I have something else to tell you though.. Brian asked me to move to London with him..”
“And I'm guessing you said yes?”
Ben nodded, tears threatening at his eyes even as he smiled.
“So I suppose I'll have to make it up with Brian before you go then.” Clémantine joked weakly as she felt a lump rise in her throat. They stared at each other for a moment before grief overtook them and they fell into each other’s arms.
“I love you so much Ben, I'm going to miss you.” Clémantine sobbed into Ben's shoulder.
“I love you too.. It will be so strange not having you close to me anymore.” Ben replied quietly.
“You know, we always dreamt about kicking up and leaving this shitty town, but I never thought you'd go ahead and leave me behind.” Clémantine admitted through tears.
“I'm not leaving you. You know you're welcome to come and stay anytime.” Ben said.
“I know.. it's just hard to think about. We'll manage.” Clémantine forced a smile as she pulled away slightly.
“We will.” Ben reassured her.
It had been barely 10 minutes since Ben had left when Clémantine was startled by another loud knock on her door. She knew who to expect this time though and let a sorry looking Brian into her hallway.
“Clémantine I-” he started hopelessly.
“Want to explain?” she finished with a grim smile. “Come and sit down.”
Brian followed her obediently into the living room and sat down on the sofa, curiously in the same position as Ben.
“Shoot.” Clémantine said, leaning back and folding her arms. Brian took a deep breath and started to speak.
“I didn’t mean to lie to you and I’m so sorry I did. But I.. well I didn’t want you to automatically assume my personality due to my career. People have done that before. They write me off as a media tart who cares about no-one but himself, and they don’t give me a chance to show my real personality. I just wanted you to see the real me.” He said carefully.
“So you thought you would win our affection by lying to us?” Clémantine replied.
“No I never planned to lie to anyone. It just.. came out and I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.” Brian said truthfully as he stared at Clémantine. She thought for a moment before sighing.
“I still don’t think what you did was justified, but Ben loves you and I don’t want this to break us apart. So I’m forgiving you, but only for his sake.”
“Thanks Clémantine.” Brian smiled slightly as he reached out to squeeze her arm. “I am going to miss you, you know.”
“Yes well you had better keep your promise of getting me to London. I expect to be there next weekend once you are both settled.” Clémantine returned his smile.
“You’ll be on the first plane on Friday, don’t worry.” Brian grinned, before glancing at his watch. “Oh I’d better get going. I need to get our stuff from the guesthouse and talk to Marguerite.”
Clémantine nodded and got to her feet, escorting him to the front door.
“Thanks again Clémantine. This really means a lot to me.” Brian said as he turned to walk down the path.
“No problem.” She replied, watching as he smiled in a satisfied way and headed off for the guesthouse.
Brian was about halfway to the guesthouse and just planning what he was going to say to Marguerite when he remembered his own friends back home. He had forgotten to tell Stef and Steve that Ben would be coming back with him. He quickly fished around for his mobile in his pocket and dialled Stef’s number first. It rang about ten times before a very tired sounding voice answered at the other end.
“Hello?”
“Hey Stef.” Brian beamed, happy to hear a familiar voice.
“Oh Brian.. what’s up?” Stef replied wearily.
“I have some good news. But firstly, what’s wrong with you? You sound tired?” Brian queried.
“Hung over. Steve came round last night and umm.. yeh.. hung over.” Stef said.
“Ohh.” Brian smirked.
“Don’t you ‘ohh’ me.” Stef chastised in his tired state, “What’s the good news anyway?”
“Well.. I told Ben everything last night.. about what I do and my plans for going back to London. I finally asked him.” Brian recounted with a smile.
“And? What did he say?” Stef asked eagerly, sounding much more awake.
“He said yes!” Brian said happily and possibly a bit too loudly as Stef held the phone away from his aching head.
“Ahh that’s so great. I’m so happy for you.” Stef replied. “When is your flight then?”
“Uhm.. tomorrow at 5pm. So we land at the same time in London, you know, time difference and all.” Brian confirmed after pausing for thought.
“Ok, well I’ll come and pick you both up. You don’t need the hassle of finding a cab on Ben’s first day here.” Stef said.
“Thanks Stef. It’s going to be great to see you again after all this time. I’ve missed you a lot.” Brian smiled.
“I’ve missed you too. Now let’s hope you’re all fresh from your holiday and raring to go in the studio.” Stef laughed quietly.
“Yep I think I’m all unblocked.” Brian replied just as he stopped outside the guesthouse entrance. “Is Steve still there? I want to talk to him.”
“Yeh sure, I’ll just go wake him.” Stef said, holding the phone by his side as he crossed the room to wake the drummer who was fast asleep on a sofa. Brian leant on the wall, smiling as he listened to their muffled conversation.
“’Ellow?” Steve murmured into the phone.
“Hi Steve.” Brian grinned.
“Wa’sup?” Steve replied, obviously the owner of another mammoth hang over.
“Oh I just wanted to tell you the good news about me and Ben. He’s coming back to London with me.”
“Oh thas great Bri!” Steve said, sounding as genuinely pleased as someone with a pounding head could be.
“Thanks. Well I’ll let you go now. Stef can explain the rest to you later. I’ll see you on Thursday.” Brian said.
“Ok Bye.” Steve mumbled.
“Bye.”
Brian ended the call and placed the phone back in his pocket. He took a deep breath before turning and pushing open the guesthouse door.
He walked inside and was greeted with an empty room. He heard voices from the door leading into the kitchen and cautiously stepped towards it. Marguerite and Claude were sitting with an elderly couple at the table and chatting animatedly. Claude glanced up at the doorway and fell silent as he spotted Brian there. Marguerite noticed his silence and followed his gaze. She smiled at the couple and excused herself, stepping away from the chair and out into the reception.
“Marguerite-” Brian started as she approached him.
“There’s no need to explain to me dear.” She silenced him by holding up her finger. “You didn’t lie to me and to be honest I don’t care what your profession is. You are a nice young man and that’s all that matters to me.” She smiled and motioned for him to sit down at the desk. “Now tell me what happened with Ben.”
“I.. I followed him back to his house and we had an argument. I explained myself to him but then he found out that I have to go back to London on Thursday to work in the recording studios. So I asked him to come back with me. And he said yes.” Brian told her, quite surprised by her bluntness.
“And do you love Ben?” Marguerite questioned.
“Yes. I love him.” Brian replied more confidently.
“Then everything is fine.” She smiled at him. “So this means you are both leaving on Thursday?”
“Wednesday. The flight is in the afternoon, that’s why I came today. To let you know and to pick up our things.” Brian answered.
“Ok, everything is still in your room.” Marguerite said with a hint of sadness in her voice.
“Thanks for letting me stay Marguerite. If it wasn’t for you I probably wouldn’t know Ben or Clémantine. You’ve been really good to me.” Brian said sincerely.
“No. Thank
you Brian. You made Clémantine accept Claude and helped me to accept Ben. Plus I probably know more about my niece now that I ever have done! Oh and you helped us lose spectacularly at Bowls.” She winked at him. “Now let me help you get all your clothes together.”
Brian slid the key into the lock of Ben’s front door and gratefully pushed it open, dumping the suitcases into the hallway before he managed to dislocate his shoulder. He sighed and traipsed into the kitchen to make some coffee. The reality of his departure had finally sunk in when he packed away all his clothes at the guesthouse. Marguerite had waved him off with a tearful farewell and even Claude had said his goodbyes. Now all that was left, it seemed, was to actually go back. But everything would be fine as Ben was coming back with him, and that would have been the part of Laitue Bécote he would have missed the most.
Brian settled onto the sofa in the living room and sipped his coffee in silence. Ben was obviously still out either at his workplace or seeing his other friends. He decided to pack the rest of his clothes away before Ben got back or he might be too intoxicated or hung over to carry out the task later. Then once he was finished if Ben still wasn’t home, he could finish off the last of his lyrics. Satisfied with his mental plan, Brian sat back and enjoyed the silence for a while longer as he tried to remember how much alcohol they had left in the house.
Brian put his hands on his hips and gazed down at the pile of clothes on the bed that somehow had to fit back into the suitcase with the rest of his stuff. It seemed to look a lot more than he could remember bringing with him, and disdainfully he picked up a sock and flung it into the open case. Slowly he started to fold all the clothes and pack them in, squeezing them down as he started to run out of room. The toiletries came last and he went and collected them all from the bathroom and threw them on top of the clothes. Just as he thought he had finished, Brian remembered that he needed an outfit for tomorrow and had to pull out most of the top layer to find something suitable. He finally managed to pack it all back in after selecting a simple pair of jeans and a patterned shirt. The lid closed surprisingly easy and although Brian had to hold down the top to get the zip done up, it wasn’t too difficult. He stood back and surveyed the neatly packed bags, mentally noting to leave them for Ben to haul down the stairs. He found his own shoulder bag and notebook and set off outside to find somewhere peaceful to write.
My guy is a tad transcontinental
But it keeps me in chains
Watching old black and white movies
Fred and Ginger are too sentimental, crying unashamed
I don’t want to be forgotten
I can't be alone so don't you dare leave me
It's like coming home to skin that has died
Human voices like a drone
And they're looking right through me
Scatter the ashes one more time for me, one more time for me
My guy has a tattoo ornamental
When he's frozen in space
Cut your eye far to me
A covered carcass is too elemental, caught underneath a subway
I don't want to be forgotten
I can't be alone so don't you dare leave me
It's like coming home to skin that has died
Human voices like a drone
And they're looking right through me
Scatter the ashes one more time for me, one more time for me
One more time for me, One more time for me, One more time for me
One more time for me, One more time for me
Translikened, twisting my ankle
Doing the grave dance
Narcotics, yes please I’ll have a sample
Riding on my very last chance
Then the clouds will open for me
Gonna meet my Jesus Christ
I see history playing before me
For pleasure and passion, you pay the price
Sadness the name of the spike that took me
I’ll make it my own
Like some raging, hard, horny Mephistopheles
Came for my soulBrian smiled in a satisfied way at the finished lyrics scrawled across the page and closed his notebook. He breathed a sigh of relief at actually having something to show for his 4-week holiday and leant back against the tree. He had come to the same field he used for all his writing, as the tranquillity and peaceful scenery seemed to help the words to flow and give him inspiration. Brian stayed for a while to appreciate the quietness for a final time before he returned to his hectic London lifestyle. Only when the sun started to shift towards the horizon did he get his things together and started to make a move back home. He noted with interest on his way back that the café had closed early, the silver shutters gracing the windows.
“Maybe they can’t cope without Ben.” Brian smiled to himself as he continued down the road.
By the time he reached Ben’s house it was just starting to get dark and a chill had blown across the town, making Brian regret not bringing anything warmer than a shirt. He opened the front door and was greeted by Ben walking out from the kitchen.
“Hey babe, how was your day?” Brian asked, sliding easily into a welcoming hug.
“Quit my job, said bye to all my friends. It’s odd. I feel so free right now.” Ben replied as he kissed the top of the smaller man’s head.
“Mmm. Just think, we’ll be on our way back to London this time tomorrow.” Brian smiled. “Oh yeh and I booked our tickets this morning. It’s all sorted.”
“Wasn’t that quite expensive as it was so last-minute?” Ben queried.
“Us rock stars can afford luxury expenses like that.” Brian joked with a grin.
“God, rock star. That’s going to take a bit of getting used to. My boyfriend is a rock star.” Ben mused to himself.
“Well that would make you my groupie, so go on, get me a glass of wine.” Brian smirked as he sashayed into the living room.
“Cheeky.” Ben grinned, tapping his arse as he followed him.
Brian sat down on the sofa and poured himself a generous glass of wine from the open bottle on the table. Ben quickly joined him and together they raised their glasses in a toast.
"To London and new lives?" Brian declared questioningly.
"London and new lives" Ben agreed, the glasses clinking softly together. He drained the liquid in one go and sank back into the sofa, grateful for some comfort after walking around the village all day. Brian curled into his side, nuzzling his face in the crook of his arm and trying to sip wine at the same time. This failed hopelessly and only resulted in Brian spilling wine everywhere. Ben smiled and plucked the glass out of his hands, placing it on the table before wrapping his arm around Brian’s waist.
“What did you do for the rest of the day then?” he asked as he carelessly brushed his fingers over his lover’s thigh.
“Well Clém had a bash at me, then forgave me. Marguerite helped me pack our stuff, which I then dragged back here. Then I packed the rest of my clothes, had a coffee and went to finish writing.” Brian said, recounting his day slowly.
“Did you get it done?” Ben asked as he tightened his grip.
“Yeh. That song, you know? I finally finished it.” Brian smiled, motioning to the notebook lying on the table.
“Can I?” Ben asked as he leant forward slightly to reach it.
“Sure. That’s why I mentioned it. I wanted to know what you think?” Brian said apprehensively as Ben opened the notebook. He became quiet in concentration as he started to read, his eyes flicking across the page. Brian fidgeted slightly in the silence. Ben finally came to a stop and stared blankly at the scrawled handwriting.
“What? What did you think?” Brian asked impatiently.
“I.. It’s..” Ben stuttered, still staring at the pages, apparently speechless.
“That bad?” Brian replied dejectedly.
“No, not at all. The total opposite in fact.” Ben said, looking up from the notebook, “It.. well I hate to be presumptuous but.. It was for me?
Brian nodded quietly.
“I loved it.” Ben stated simply, causing Brian's concerned expression to melt instantly into a smile.
“God I was worried for a moment you thought it was a load of crap. he confessed.
“Never, it was beautiful.” Ben replied as he placed the book on the floor. “Just like you.” Brian squirmed slightly and blushed, turning himself to face Ben.
“I've never had anything written for me before. I'm touched. Thank you.” Ben said quietly.
“Don't thank me, you're like my muse. You inspire me to write.” Brian said as he leant up to brush their lips together.
“Anyway, enough praise and ego-feeding. Our heads won't fit onto the plane.” Ben smirked, eagerly accepting Brian's mouth on his own. They kissed slowly and lovingly, savouring the taste and feel of each other. Brian's hands slid up Ben's arm and shoulders, his fingers dancing across the skin and causing appreciative noises from his lover. Ben let his tongue flit teasingly around Brian's mouth, sending shivers down his spine and pulling them both into the sensation. They broke away, both smiling, and stayed in their comfortable embrace for a while.
“Brian? What's London like?” Ben asked, breaking the silence.
“You've never been?” Brian questioned curiously. Ben shook his head and Brian had to stop himself laughing at the child-like innocence of it.
“Wow. Well It's big. Most people don't realise just how big. But all of the interesting and touristy stuff is in central London which is relatively easy to get around by tube.” he replied.
“Don't you drive?” Ben queried.
“No, I've never bothered to learn. I either get cabs, public transport, or Stef or Steve to take me where I need to go.” Brian grinned sheepishly.
“Lazy git.” Ben joked, “And I suppose the nightlife is a bit better than here?”
“Well theres a fuckload of choice. There must be at least four pubs down my street, not to mention all the clubs nearby. Oh and the gay bars are worth a look.” Brian winked at the last comment.
“Gay bars? Now that's something I’ll have to visit.” Ben smiled at the thought.
“Just don’t go getting chatted up by the strippers, or I’ll get all jealous.” Brian smirked, crossing his arms.
“What if we share them?” Ben grinned suggestively.
“Then that’s fine.” Brian agreed with a smile, twisting his arms back around Ben’s chest.
“So, what's the area you live in like?” Ben asked.
“It’s nice. Good pubs and restaurants, not too shabby looking either.” Brian said as he reminisced about his home.
“I can’t wait to see it.” Ben admitted.
“Tomorrow. It’s not far now. Oh and Stef is picking us up from the airport.” Brian added.
“That’s nice of him.”
“Mm it is, I’m really looking forward to you two meeting each other. I think you'll get on really well, you have similar personalities.” Brian said.
“Well we’ll find out tomorrow. What time will we be leaving here?” Ben asked.
“The flights at 5, so we need to leave here by about half two. I’ll call a cab to take us to the airport.” Brian replied after a short pause for thought.
“Ok.” Ben sighed, “I wish it would come quicker.”
“I know how to make it pass quicker!” Brian grinned, holding up the bottle of wine.
“I like your thinking.” Ben smiled as he went to find the rest of the alcohol.
Brian giggled at the bottom of the chair across the room.
“Ben, s’all upside down.” he said incoherently.
“That’s because you’re hanging backwards off the sofa.” Ben smiled at the smaller man sprawled across his lap.
“But if I’m upside down.. and the chair is upside down.. shouldn’t it be the right way up?” Brian questioned.
“I don’t know, you’ve confused me.” Ben admitted with a short laugh as he reached for another glass of wine.
“Brian?” he asked after thinking for a moment.
“Mmm?” Brian’s reply came from somewhere down by his feet.
“You’re a singer right?” he continued.
“Yes. Why?”
“I’ve never heard you sing.” Ben noted.
“Oh.” Brian replied shortly, before tumbling off his lap and onto the floor.
“Will you sing for me?” Ben asked sweetly as he helped Brian back onto the sofa.
“Maybe. What’s in it for me?” Brian replied curiously, staring at his wine glass suspiciously, trying to work out how much liquid had been in it before he fell off the sofa.
“Oh a sexual favour or two..” Ben commented casually, bringing a smirk to his lover’s face. Brian climbed off the sofa and carefully placed his glass on the floor, before knocking it over with his foot as he stepped onto the table.
He coughed loudly, clearing his throat before striking a pose, hands on hips and a perfect pout gracing his lips. He quickly launched into a rather drunken rendition of Lady Marmalade, complete with dance moves.
“Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir.” he purred, swaying his hips. Ben felt his mouth go dry as he stared at his writhing, wailing partner. Brian noticed and played up to it, trailing his hands across his body as he inched further across the table.
“Sat in her bourdoir while she freshened up, boy drank all that magnolia wine. Her black satin sheets where he started to freak.” he sang, dropping to his knees and crawling closer to Ben. Ben gulped as Brian moved onto his lap, quickly straddling him.
“Nice voice..” he commented before Brian’s lips attacked his own with an unyielding passion. He arched his back as Brian dragged his fingernails down his chest, slipping his hands under his shirt. Brian’s mouth broke away, moving across to Ben’s neck and sucking on it fervently. Ben let out a loud gasp as his own hands slid over Brian’s back, gripping the smooth curves of his arse. Brian smirked as he rubbed his groin against the other’s, bringing his lips back to Ben’s. He captured them between his teeth, nibbling and sucking gently on the flesh before slipping his tongue into Ben’s mouth. Ben moaned and pulled them closer together, pushing his own hips upwards as he felt himself getting more turned on. Brian freed up one hand and let it travel down between their bodies, rubbing the rapidly growing bulge in his lover’s jeans. With his free hand he relieved Ben of his shirt, only pausing their lustful kisses to yank it over his head and onto the floor. Ben’s hands explored the delicate contours of Brian’s spine as Brian lavished attention to his chest. He sucked on the skin forcefully, leaving a trail of marks across the pale skin and allowed his hand to work on Ben’s zip. Ben’s eyes closed in bliss as Brian’s small hand worked its way inside his jeans, allowing himself a groan at the contact. Brian paused for a second, looking around the room expectantly.
“Champagne..” he muttered.
“What?” Ben asked, in a state somewhere between desperate arousal and drunkenness.
“We need champagne.” Brian repeated.
“Why?” Ben asked, pushing his hips forward in an attempt for more contact. To his disappointment, Brian started to climb off his lap.
“We don’t need it. Stay here.” Ben said softly as he pulled him back.
“No we need Champagne. I’ll have to go buy some. I won’t be long.” Brian stated, leaning in for a lingering kiss before getting to his feet unsteadily.
“Ok but hurry back.” Ben sighed, admitting defeat as he motioned to his straining underwear.
“Mmm now you be a good boy and wait for me.” Brian purred, running his tongue across his lips at the sight of Ben topless and hard. He grabbed his shoulder bag before quickly stepping out of the house and striding down the road towards the nearest off license.
Brian stumbled out of the shop, clutching a blue plastic bag in his hand containing the much-required champagne. He idly thought of the golden bubbles running across Ben's hot skin and found himself getting hard again in the middle of the street. He giggled to himself and was just about to start walking when something familiar caught his eye on the other side of the road. Brian turned and recognised Nicolas walking determinedly across the pavement.
“OY!” he yelled at the top of his lungs, waiting expectantly for him to stop. However Nicolas simply glanced back and then carried on walking. Brian crossed the road quickly, becoming infuriated as he shouted after him in his drunken state.
“Stop you fucker! I wanna talk to you!” he shouted, tripping up the kerb and quickening his pace. Nicolas paused at the end of a pathway before turning into it, walking up to the front of what Brian supposed was his house. He stopped in front of the door fumbling with his keys in his bag. Brian ran after him, skidding to a halt at the top of the path. He idly let the plastic bag slip through his grasp as he glared at Nicolas, causing a large crash as the bottle smashed on the floor. Nicolas visibly jumped and turned around to face the smaller man, a matching glare decorating his features.
“What is your problem Molko?” he asked irritably.
“
My problem?!” Brian shrieked, “You’re the one with a fucking problem. Are you determined to break up me and Ben?”
“I’m not going to waste my breath arguing about this.” Nicolas stated, turning his back to Brian as he successfully managed to find his keys.
“All you’ve done since the day I got here was to try and make my life a misery.”
Nicolas seemingly ignored him as he casually opened his front door. Brian, infuriated, grabbed his arm and swung him around, slamming him against the wall with more strength than he realised.
“What do you want from me?” he demanded, looking Nicolas straight in the eye. Nicolas’ resolve appeared to waver for a second, as his eyelids fluttered nervously and his breathing became uneven. Brian felt something stir inside him as he continued to glare up at the taller man, and had he not been so drunk he might have realised it was a glimmer of recognition.
“
What do you want?” he repeated slightly quieter, gripping his other shoulder. Nicolas’ tongue darted out from between his lips for a second as he contemplated his reply.
“You..” he murmured huskily.
In the few seconds it took for the phrase to sink into Brian’s mind, Nicolas had freed himself of the limp grasp and stumbled forward onto the singer, pressing their lips quickly together. Brian's body reacted quicker than his brain and before he realised what he was doing he was kissing Nicolas back hungrily.
/No! This is wrong!/ his conscience yelled at him inside his head. But the fluttering in the pit of his stomach seemed to indicate otherwise and they both stumbled through the open doorway. Brian gasped as he was pinned to the wall of Nicolas’ hallway with a surprisingly strong grip. One of their legs quickly kicked the front door shut before returning to the tangled mass of limbs. Brian's head was spinning from the alcohol and spontaneity of the situation as Nicolas’ lips sought out his own. Their mouths pushed together lustfully, tongues seeking each other with fervent movements. Brian wrapped his arms around the other’s neck, pulling them closer and multiplying the heat between their bodies. He was still hard from his miniature daydream about his lover and Nicolas noticed as he ground their hips together. Brian let out a whimper as their groins made contact and he dug his nails into the back of Nicolas’ neck. His hands trailed down the other's sides and he grasped the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head quickly. He stared at the tanned skin, so unlike Ben's, and the toned muscles defining the shape of his stomach. Nicolas kissed him again, his lips flooding desire into Brian's mind as all thoughts of Ben were forgotten. All Brian could think of was Nicolas and he repeated the name quietly to himself as his own shirt was discarded. He found himself pinned to wall fiercely again as a furious worship of his chest began, the bites followed by soothing kisses slowly making their way back up to his collarbone. Brian gripped Nicolas’ shoulders as he lifted himself up and twisted his legs around his waist, clinging to the taller man desperately. Nicolas smirked into his neck at his total surrender and continued to thrust his hips forward, letting Brian know what he needed. Brian caught on quickly, his hands moving swiftly to unzip his partners jeans and pushing into the warmth of his boxers. Nicolas threw his head back and moaned loudly as Brian gripped his hard cock, rubbing his fingers along the length. He flung himself forward, capturing Brian’s lips and pushing them both more forcefully against the solid wall. Brian kissed him back with an equal vigour, mumbling into his mouth as he indicated feebly towards the sofa. Nicolas seemed to get the idea and he stumbled backwards slowly on weak legs, Brian’s mouth still clamped around his own and his hand still pumping in his jeans.
They fell backwards onto the worn sofa as Nicolas’ legs collided with the side and within seconds they were tearing at each other’s pants, discarding the useless items desperately. Their jeans and underwear lay scattered around the room as they turned their full attention to their naked forms. Brian pressed hard kisses to Nicolas’ lips as their already sweat-slicked bodies writhed together. He rubbed his aching cock against the others, groaning with the much-needed friction and smirking as he felt Nicolas push up against him. They both craved this. He grasped his hips and shoved himself to the other end of the sofa, saving the delicate caresses and loving kisses for someone he actually cared about. It was still a shock when Brian found himself staring at a waiting cock that wasn’t Ben’s, but his alcohol-addled mind convinced him that this was what he wanted.
“Mmm Nicolas..” he mumbled as his well-practised tongue slid up the length, encasing the head quickly in an overwhelming heat. Nicolas moaned at the suddenness of it all, but then patience didn’t seem to be a virtue in either of them that day. Brian flicked his tongue around the delicate flesh as he slid his head up and down, teasing relentlessly as only he knew how to do. He sucked his cheeks in, applying intense pressure and causing Nicolas to use every ounce of his restraint to not come on the spot.
“Oh god.. Brian.” He gasped in wild adoration, letting his hands entangle themselves in the smaller mans hair.
Brian smiled as he continued to suck forcefully, allowing himself a quiet groan as his own throbbing erection pressed against the side of Nicolas’ leg. The sound sent dizzying vibrations through Nicolas’ body and he grasped Brian’s hair quickly, pulling him away before it was over too soon. Brian sat back on his heels, a sultry look gracing his features as he beckoned the other towards him. Nicolas eagerly complied as he sat up and pulled their heaving chests close together. Brian leaned in to his ear, sliding his tongue along the earlobe.
“Fuck me.” He whispered hoarsely, though the words couldn’t have sounded clearer to Nicolas. They shifted quickly so that Brian was lying on his back with Nicolas between his legs, his hand forcefully stroking the other’s neglected length. Brian moaned at the contact and bucked his hips wildly.
“Now.” He managed to pant in the middle of his satisfied noises. To his surprise Nicolas wildly looked around the room for the necessaries. Brian hadn’t thought he would be that considerate in their desperate state.
“No, now.” He rasped as he grabbed Nicolas’ shoulders.
“But-”
“Forget it. I don’t care, I need you now.” Brian declared vehemently as he reached up to kiss him. Nicolas let his other hand trail between their bodies, hastily pressing his fingers between the smooth crack and finding Brian’s opening. He clumsily pushed a dry finger inside in an attempt to hurriedly prepare him causing Brian to arch his back in shock.
“Fuuck!” he cried as Nicolas withdrew his digit and lined up his still spit-coated cock. Nicolas hesitated for a second as he revelled in making Brian squirm uncomfortably, before pushing in with a harsh thrust. He paused once he was inside as the overwhelming heat and pressure encompassed him. It wasn’t until Brian’s squeaks became more persistent that he started to move with a rapid pace, knowing neither of them would last very long. Brian’s knees clenched around Nicolas’ waist, holding him closer as they thrust furiously against each other. His head lolled back against the arm of the sofa as a hard cock brushed against his prostate and he couldn’t hold back his moans. His hand quickly snaked between their bodies to grasp his own hardness and relieve himself. A bead of sweat formed at his collarbone, breaking free and running down across his chest, tickling his skin and causing another surprised gasp. Brian pumped his cock harder as Nicolas pounded into his arse, bruising the supple skin as he grasped it in ecstasy. He found himself coming closer as the familiar sensation built quickly inside him and his moans became louder and more animalistic. Brian thrashed about wildly as his release set in, sending adrenalin pumping through his veins and clouding his mind with momentary pure bliss. Hot liquid spurted out between their burning bodies as Nicolas pushed harder, the pressure on his own cock building rapidly. He came loudly as his own orgasm set in, claiming Brian for his own as he filled his insides with liquid. Brian’s nails raked down his back as he screamed his name amidst a stream of profanities. They hovered for a second caught in that perfect moment of heaven before they came crashing back down again, collapsing against each other’s sated bodies gratefully.
Nicolas withdrew from the smaller man after a short while, rolling over so he was pressed next to him and pulling a blanket out of no-where. He covered their cooling bodies with the warm fabric and wrapped an arm around Brian as they drifted into an exhausted sleep. Brian’s mind was too consumed by the extreme sensations he had just experienced as well as the alcohol to process the implications of what had just occurred. Nicolas’ mind however was going into overdrive.
A dull buzzing invaded the soft fluffy blanket of sleep and penetrated Brian’s head. It quickly turned from a buzzing to a thudding to a pounding. Brian grimaced and tried to roll over in an effort to banish it, but instead found himself unable to move. He opened one bleary eye and stared at the back of an unfamiliar sofa. A gentle voice spoke, drifting ethereally into his ears.
“Are you awake?” Nicolas asked from his position at the other end of the seat. Brian mumbled, trying to make sense of the world though his aching head. His mouth felt as though he had swallowed a wad of cotton wool whenever he tried to speak.
“That’s ok, we have all the time in the world now.” Nicolas continued unfazed. Brian was confused. He couldn’t remember why he was here and why this strangely familiar voice was chatting unconcernedly to him.
“I knew from the moment I saw you in Laitue Bécote that you would come around. Ben was only a minor issue, easily forgotten.” Nicolas said in a strange quick-paced tone, catching Brian’s attention as he mentioned his boyfriend. Brian opened his eyes properly and looked up at the taller man sat opposite him.
“Ben?” he asked in a confused manner.
“You don’t need to worry about Ben anymore. Not now that you have me.” Nicolas stated like a parent patronising a child. Brian just watched him blankly as he continued to talk.
“Of course I recognised you as soon as you came into the shop. I wasn’t sure if you remembered me, but, well-” he paused as he glanced at Brian’s still confused face.
“You don’t remember me..”
Brian was extremely puzzled by this statement. Although it was too much for him to try to remember what happened earlier and to process Nicolas’ words at the same time, he still knew who he was. It was Nicolas, the nasty evil fuck who had tried to ruin his relationship with Ben. Which of course brought all the questions as to why he was sat, naked, on a sofa with him. Just as the inevitable truth was beginning to sink in, Nicolas started to talk again.
“I could never forget that night. You, well you were totally out of it on whatever drug of choice you had, but I remember it perfectly.” He said, his face expressionless as he recalled the precise details.
“I was seventeen and just realised ‘who’ I was. Before it had been drummed into me that all these thoughts and urges I was having were bad, that it was wrong. But then I discovered a band that screamed of androgyny, sex, lust and being yourself. I worshipped them. Every one of their songs became an anthem for me as I finally let myself go. My obsession was fuelled by an insatiable attraction to the lead singer. He was my anti-thesis and everything I wanted to be. Confident, arrogant, pretty and dripping sex in whatever he did. I used to sneak out of the house and go to sit in the fields, listening to their music on my walkman for hours and getting away from my mundane life.
Soon after I saw flyers advertising their new tour. I found out they were playing a hall not too far from me. I didn’t even bother to ask my parents, I knew what their answer would be. So instead I got dressed up, stole enough money from my mothers bag and slipped out of the house, heading there on my own. I was wide-eyed in amazement when I arrived and joined the end of the queue. Everyone here was like me, boys in impeccable eyeliner and short skirts, girls with their hair cut so short you could only tell their sex by the bulges on their chests. For the first time in my life I felt as though I fit in. We rushed forward as the doors were finally opened, united as if one being by our love of a band. I pushed past a group of shorter girls and battled my way to the front, earning a place at the left on the barrier. The perfect view. I smiled and danced along to the support act, singing words I didn’t know as we passed the time.
Then the lights dimmed and the drummer stepped onto the stage. The crowd went wild, cheering and screaming just as the bassist joined him. They started up a simple beat and we all waited with bated breath. Just as I was starting to worry you strolled across the stage, cigarette in hand, guitar slung across one shoulder and looking as though you hadn’t a care in the world. I held my breath as I gazed at your perfection, clad in a dress and black army boots. I was lost the moment you started to sing, two hours flew by so quickly. I only realised when you informed us it was the end and launched into the opening bars of Nancy Boy. I screamed and jumped but so did everyone behind me. They were closing in on me, squeezing my ribcage and depriving me of crucial air. Spots of light started to swim before my eyes and concentrating on the music didn’t help anymore. I blacked out.
When I came to I was lying on my back on a table in a small room. I heard the dying ring of a guitar in the distance so I gathered the gig was just ending. The hall’s first-aider appeared at my side and checked me over. She made sure I had no serious bruising on my chest and then indicated to the door, telling me I could go when I felt better. I sat up uneasily and waited for the dizziness to die down before getting to my feet. I pushed open the door and was about to walk down the hallway towards the exit when another door opened to my right. I stared in shock as you, followed by your other band mates and crewmembers strolled down the hallway into a room I supposed was your post-gig party. It took me all of two seconds to make up my mind whether or not to follow, and I slipped in the door behind you unnoticed. The room was packed full of people so I easily blended into the crowd. I went and got a drink from the bar before seating myself on the sofa next to you. A guy next to me started up a conversation about something boring but I politely listened and nodded, stealing glances at you every few minutes. I was racking my brains trying to come up with something to say to you that wouldn’t sound stupid, but I was saved the effort by a familiar voice in my ear.
“Hey, I don’t recognise you from the normal crew and roadies.” You slurred, your voice obviously marred by a cocktail of alcohol and drugs.
“Uhm well no. That’s because I snuck in here.” I replied, feeling slightly star struck.
“Nice,” you smirked, looking faintly impressed, “So do you have a name?”
“Nicolas” I managed to choke as my vocal cords seemed intent on giving up.
“And were you at the gig tonight Nicolas?” You asked, looking at me quizzically. I nodded swiftly.
“What did you think?”
“I thought it was amazing! You had so much energy on stage.” I gushed before I could stop myself. But you smiled, saving me from my embarrassment. You made small talk, keeping the conversation flowing almost idly. Never once did you introduce yourself but you didn’t really need to. Everyone in the room knew who you were and I was no exception. I glanced up at one point and to my horror spotted a security guard moving deftly through the crowd.
“Shit..” I muttered as I looked around for an escape.
“Hmm, maybe we had better hide you..” You commented languidly, grasping my arm and pulling me to my feet with a surprising agility. We wove through the crowd towards a door at the far end of the room and soon found ourselves well away from the security guard. You didn’t stop though, and continued out of the door and outside into the cold night air. You dropped my arm and fumbled in your pockets, procuring a cigarette packet and lighting one.
“Want one?” You asked, holding the silvery packet in my direction. I shook my head and you made a non-committal noise, taking a large drag before grabbing my hand again and striding off down the street.
“Where are we going?” I asked, shivering slightly as a chilly breeze swept around me.
“My hotel room.” You commented, not looking back as you continued to walk determinedly forwards. My heart started to thud in my chest. I knew what that meant. We didn’t talk throughout the whole journey. Not even when the receptionist gazed in amazement as we strolled in through the hotel entrance and requested Mr Molko’s door key.
We finally made it to your room and I stood in silence whilst you fumbled with the lock. The door swung open and you stumbled inside, pulling me with you and kicking the door shut. You immediately latched your arms around my neck and started to kiss me, just in case I had any doubts as to what would happen that night.
We made our way precariously to the bed, you removing my shirt as our kisses became hastier.
We fell onto the soft mattress amidst a flurry of discarded clothes. Your mouth sweetly traversed my collarbone, before harshly biting into my shoulder as a warning for what was to come. We moaned loudly in unison as your lips moved down my emaciated form and found my throbbing cock. It was the first time anyone had touched me as intimately as that and it seemed I couldn’t get enough of it. I was truly mistaken though if I had thought the experience would be tender and loving in any way, as the various chemicals invading your body had blinded you with simple lust. We moved together passionately as your tongue made me beg for more, gripping onto the bed sheets with all my strength. You suddenly flipped me over and entered me harshly. No protection, no lubrication, just pure hunger. I was bruised and broken by the time we finished but I didn’t care because I was in your arms. I gazed at your sweet face as we fell into an easy sleep, waiting for the morning to come and reveal our love to the world.
Of course I was very much mistaken when I woke up the next morning. The bright sunlight gently filtered in through the sheer curtains and I rolled over, opening my eyes and expecting to see you smiling back at me. Instead the sight of an empty bed greeted me. I turned back over as I heard the click of a lock and saw you walking out of the bathroom dressed only in a towel and still wet from your shower.
“Brian.” I smiled, not being able to hide the joy in my voice. You ignored me, not even looking in my direction as you walked to the table and calmly lit a cigarette.
“Uhm.. last night-” I started to ask, before I was cut off by your angry voice.
“What do you want from me kid?” you asked as a frown crossed your face. The words stung me like a deft slap to the face. I opened my mouth in shock, trying to think of coherent words.
“I.. I uh-”
“You what? You’ve had your fun, fucked a rock star, now it’s time for you to leave.” You snapped at me. I felt bitter tears begin to prick my eyes as I sat paralysed in your bed.
“GET OUT!” you screamed, picking up the nearest cup and throwing it at the wall above me. It shattered into a million pieces as I scrambled out of the bed sheets. I hurriedly grabbed my clothes and ran from the room, not stopping until I was out of sight of the hotel. I slumped against a wall and cried my heart out, not caring about anything else in the world other than my own self-pity.”
Nicolas paused for a while, to emphasise his tragic teenage angst. Brian just stared at him, an unrecognisable look on his face. Nicolas’ words had kept him transfixed the whole time, weaving an intricately detailed web around his mind and compelling him to listen. He didn’t remember doing any of what he had just been told, but it was probably true. He had spent most of the early years of his success fucking everything that moved and then throwing the poor victims unmercifully out of his room the next morning. And now it seemed he had done it again. Luring Nicolas into another false sense of hope with yet another drunken fuck. Brian hated himself at that moment as the implications of his actions hit him. He had sacrificed everything he had with Ben, one day before they were meant to move to London together, all because he couldn’t control himself. A tear rolled down his cheek as he mirrored Nicolas’ self-pitying adolescent character.
“But you finally came back to me.” Nicolas said to him with shining eyes, and it took Brian a second to realise he had been talking.
“I love you, and now you are mine finally..” he ranted as Brian started to get up. Brian quickly gathered up his clothes, pulling them on in a hurry. He had to get out of this place, he needed somewhere to clear his head.
“Where are you going? Brian?” Nicolas’ voice turned into a persistent whine, although that could have been Brian’s mind altering it. He turned around to stare at the pathetic dependant form on the sofa.
“Nicolas you don’t need me. I’m shit, I’m not good for people. I’ve just proven that by ruining everything I had with my wonderful boyfriend by sleeping with you.” Brian said, turning to walk out of the door.
“But I love you Brian..” Nicolas protested weakly.
“No you don’t. You love my image. That’s not who I really am.. well anymore. It used to be me but I’ve changed now. You don’t know the real me Nicolas.” Brian stated, leaving Nicolas speechless and naked as he walked outside into the freezing darkness.
He walked quickly along the street, unable to stop the tears streaming down his face as the harsh reality hit him.
“Why do I always fuck everything up?” Brian asked himself quietly. No-one answered him as he continued to walk, eventually finding himself at a children’s playground, which was deserted so early in the morning. He sat down on a swing, slowly pushing himself away from the ground as he tried to disconnect himself from reality.
Chapter 10:
Wednesday 6th April
The numbers on Brian’s phone glowed brightly in the semi-darkness. 6:14 am, the time read, just before the phone started to ring. Brian jumped, realising he had fallen asleep on the swing, and pressed the green call button.
“Hello?” he asked cautiously and sleepily.
“Brian?” Came Clémantine’s worried voice, “Where the fuck are you?”
“I, uh.. I went for a walk to clear my head.” He replied truthfully.
“All night?!” she exclaimed, “Ben phoned me just now saying you went out last night to buy some alcohol and never came back. He’s tried ringing you at least 50 times and he’s worried out of his mind!”
Brian pulled the phone away from his ear and glanced at the screen. Sure enough there were a fair few missed calls listed from Ben.
“I only just found my phone.. sorry.” He replied blankly.
“What did you need all this time to sort out anyway?” Clémantine queried.
“Just uhm.. can I come over and talk about it?” Brian asked, a hint of desperation tingeing his voice.
“Sure. But I think you should call Ben first to let him know you are allr-” she tried to reason, but her words fell on deaf ears as Brian had already hung up the phone.
Brian stood up, stamping his feet quickly on the ground in an effort to warm them up. After a few moments the feeling started to tingle slowly back into his legs, so he set off in the vague direction of Clémantine’s house. It was quite a difficult task seeing as in his disconnected wanderings he wasn’t entirely sure where he had ended up. After about ten minutes or so he began to recognise his surroundings. The place he had been calling home for the last three weeks. It was as if he had been there his entire life, his home back in London seeming like a distant dream. His past life had faded into insignificance since he met Ben. Not that it mattered anymore, it was all ruined now.
Brian stopped in his tracks as he reached the end of Clémantine’s road. He shook his head, trying to instil positive thoughts in himself. He could still hope that Ben might forgive him. He clung to that hope for the last few steps, fighting off the looming depression that was threatening to break him.
The next thing he knew something collided with his body and small, warm arms wrapped themselves around his chest. For a fleeting moment he thought it was Ben, but the person was far too petite.
“Brian you’re freezing. Come on, come inside.” A familiar thick french accent half-whispered in his ear. He numbly obliged as he allowed himself to be led into a warm house. He collapsed on a sofa in the living room, the yellow walls taunting his sore eyes.
“Where were you?” Clémantine asked softly as she thrust a hot mug into his hands.
“Out. Clearing my head.” Brian replied distantly.
“You said that before. Where were you?” She asked more insistently.
“I’m not sure. On a swing somewhere..” Brian mumbled into his coffee as he took a sip. The liquid burnt his throat, but it took his mind off the present situation.
“Oh god Brian, what happened? Tell me.” Clémantine pleaded with him as she stared into his empty eyes.
“I ruined everything. Destroyed every hope of happiness I ever had.” Brian replied in a surprising moment of clarity. Clémantine continued to stare at him, silently willing him to continue.
“I.. I don’t know how it happened. I was yelling at him, I was drunk. I know I just wanted to kill him for everything he had done. And then..” Brian explained, trailing off as he shifted his gaze to the floor.
“And then what?!” Clémantine asked anxiously.
“And then.. we were kissing. All over each other. I was so drunk. We.. we fucked on his sofa.” He finished lamely. Clémantine continued to stare at him, a blank look across her face. The silence was unbearable.
“Nicolas?” She eventually managed to splutter. Brian caught her eye for a split second and nodded, before turned away ashamedly.
“He’s a psychopath. Turns out it wasn’t the first time I’d fucked him.. He thinks he’s in love with me..” He explained quietly.
“When are you going to tell Ben?” Clémantine replied, surprising herself with how calm her voice sounded.
“I can’t tell Ben. It would break his heart.” Brian said quietly.
“And what, are you just going to leave and never tell him?” Clémantine demanded angrily. The look Brian gave her said it all.
“You can’t do that!” She yelled.
“Why not? It’s none of your business.” Brian replied loudly, as his own temper started to flare.
“It’s every bit of my business. He’s my best friend. I’m the one who will have to console him after I’ve told him the truth. He might not even believe me. He could hate me.” She continued to yell at the small figure hunched on the sofa, still clutching the coffee mug.
“Surely you’re not that selfish you would burden your problems onto me and then piss off home?”
“No.” Brian replied with a sigh as he realised Clémantine was right. He had to face up to the consequences of his own actions. Clémantine sat back on the sofa beside him.
“He might even forgive you.” she said. Brian gave a hollow laugh of disbelief.
"Yeh right.."
“You never know. He forgave you before. If he loved you enough he might do it again.” Clémantine tried to convince him, but it obviously wasn't working. They sat in silence for a while longer as Brian finished his coffee nervously.
"I suppose you had better go now." Clémantine pointed out, "You have to leave for the airport in 6 hours."
Brian nodded mutely and got to his feet, leading the way to the front door.
"Brian, I'm not going to pretend that I want Ben to forgive you. I don't think he should have forgiven you before and I especially don't think he should forgive you now. But in the time I've known you, I've really liked you, and I hope you end up happy whatever you do." Clémantine said as she gave Brian one last parting hug.
"Thank you." Brian replied as he returned the gesture, before walking off into the distance.
Brian's mind was blank as he walked the now familiar route. He gazed at the scenery, not taking anything in and not really thinking as he allowed his legs to move. It seemed like forever until he reached the street, the house, the front door. He had barely raised his fist to the glass when it burst open and a tall, slim body wrapped itself around him. Ben's chest was so warm that Brian would have been happy to stay there for the rest of his life, comforting words floating around his ears and soft kisses being pressed to his hair. But he pulled away, staring at the door so he didn't have to look Ben in the eye. He walked into the house quickly, with Ben following him confusedly.
"Brian? Where were you? I've been trying to call you all night, I was so worried." Ben asked in a flurry of words as they reached the living room.
"Clémantine phoned as soon as she heard from you, she said you sounded odd. Whats going on?"
Brian looked up at his lover. He looked into his deep, trusting eyes and knew he was about to break his heart.
He stared at Ben for a moment, trying to swallow nervously despite a dry throat. Ben couldn’t decipher the look in his eyes. It was a confusing mix of emotions, something he had never seen before, and it worried the hell out of him.
“Ben I..” Brian tried to speak, but the words got caught in his throat, the echoes dying pathetically in the stagnant air. He dropped his gaze to the floor for a second, and when his eyelids fluttered back upwards there were tears pooling at the corners. Ben’s heart leapt into his throat viciously. He quickly grasped for Brian’s hand, trying to find some comfort in the tense situation. Brian pulled his hand back, shifting awkwardly as he looked away, the guilt surging through his body.
“Brian what’s wrong? Don’t do this to me.” Ben asked quietly, his own hands shaking as he returned them to his sides. Brian took a deep breath, stood upright and looked Ben right in the eyes.
“I slept with Nicolas.”
The words hit Ben like a truck, knocking the breath out of his lungs and rendering him speechless. The tears had now started to roll freely down Brian’s face. He didn’t even make an effort to stop them, he just watched as his whole life crumpled before his eyes.
Ben took a step backwards, just standing in shock with his face blank and emotionless.
“Why?” He eventually managed to ask in barely a whisper.
“I don’t know.” Brian was quick to reply, “I don’t know why it happened. I was drunk, I wasn’t thinking clearly. It didn’t mean anything.”
Ben just continued to stare at him in disbelief. The silence was deafening.
“I love you Ben-” Brian tried to reason, but was cut short.
“I’ve heard it before Brian. If you really loved me you wouldn’t have done this..”
“But I love you. I can’t imagine my life without you.” Brian replied, his voice rising to a slightly more hysteric level. He had been mentally preparing himself for this, reminding himself that it was all over. But it was incomparable to the raw hurt he was feeling now. He stepped forward, desperate to prove his feelings, and reached out a hand to touch Ben’s cheek. It had barely grazed the damp skin when Ben jerked out of his reach.
“Don’t touch me.” He said coldly. Brian stifled a sob as he moved closer, his desperation driving him on.
“I said don’t touch me!” Ben yelled as he smacked Brian’s hand away from him. He sprang back towards the corner of the room, his hands covering his face as the anger swiftly melted away, only to be replaced by grief. His whole body seemed so frail as it shivered in rhythm with the loud sobs escaping his chest. Brian felt helpless as he watched, his own eyes stinging with silent tears.
Ben sank slowly to the floor as the reality of the situation sunk in, his hands still hiding his face from a callous world. Brian was torn between two thoughts: whether to run and hinder the pain, or try to explain and possibly face another violent outburst. He decided the latter was the best option and cautiously stepped forward. The room was bitterly silent as he carefully knelt down to Ben’s level and moved his hands away from his face. He placed a warm palm on Ben’s cheek to coax him into making eye contact. Ben’s eyes were startlingly deep, the bright blues enhanced even more by the film of saltwater. But the expression in them was shattering; pure pain emanating from the ethereal orbs. It took all of Brian’s self-control to keep his gaze. Neither of them spoke for a while. They just looked at each other as they silently acknowledged what neither wanted to say out loud.
Finally Ben moved. He swallowed with difficulty and opened his mouth as he tried to form words.
“I can’t trust you anymore Brian. Not after you lied to me and slept with someone else.” He said quietly with a bitter tone. Brian just nodded slightly, brushing his thumb over Ben’s smooth, soft skin for one last time.
“So is this it?” he whispered as he let his hand fall down by his side.
“This is it.. it’s over.” Ben confirmed, looking down as he pulled his knees to his chest.
Brian got to his feet and walked into the hallway. His mind was totally blank as he dug out his mobile phone and called a cab. He walked upstairs slowly; making his way into the bedroom that had become so familiar to him over the past few weeks. His and Ben’s cases were still standing neatly together by the side of the bed, waiting for a new life in London. It seemed wrong to pull them apart. Brian made sure all his own things were in his case and then stepped back to take one last look at the room. He was staring at the bed when an idea caught in his mind, and he reached up to unclasp the cord around his neck. He carefully laid the smooth, silver pendant on the bedside table and then picked up his bags. A beep outside alerted him to the cab drivers presence. Brian silently carried his luggage back downstairs and opened the front door. He glanced back into the living room and saw Ben was still in the same position, staring at the floor. He didn’t say anything, just simply picked up his bags and left.
The whole of the cab journey was a blur to Brian. The waiting time at the check in desk and the departure lounge sped by so quick, that he was confused when he looked up to see his flight was boarding already. The only moment when time slowed to an appropriate pace was when he jealously watched re-united lovers embracing whilst he waited in line at the boarding gate. It was enough to make him want to drown himself in the flimsy cup of coffee he was holding. The plane had barely taken off before it landed again, causing the knot in Brian’s stomach to tighten uneasily as it brought him closer to facing real life. Before he knew it he was holding his suitcase close to him and walking out of the arrivals gate.
Brian's eyes flicked quickly across the crowd as he searched for a familiar face, eventually spotting Stefan's tall figure at the back. He slowly started making his way towards him, glad to see a friend after his recent ordeal. Stefan's face split into a broad grin as he noticed him and he ran forward, sweeping the singer into a tight hug. Brian just let himself be held, for fear of falling apart if he tried to talk. Stefan stepped back after a few moments and looked around confusedly for Ben.
"Ben?-" he started to ask, but was cut short by Brian.
"He's not coming.."
Stefan could tell by the look on Brian's face that he didn't want to discuss it, so he took the smaller mans suitcase and wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulders. They walked quietly outside to where the car was parked, with Stefan idly chatting about his life over the past few weeks to take Brian's mind off things. They climbed inside the car after depositing the suitcases in the back and began the short drive home. Stefan turned the radio on to try and distract their thoughts, but it seemed like every song reminded Brian of Ben. Each one a sad tale of lost love and betrayal. He stared out of the window idly and watched the countryside speed past. The trees and fields that looked so similar to France, but with a miserable undertone.
It wasn't long before they were back at Stefan's flat, and once sat on a comfortable sofa with a glass of wine in his hands, Brian felt ready to open up about France. He poured his heart out about the wonderful time he spent with Ben, all the interesting people he met and the unfortunate incident that led to the demise of their ideal relationship.
Stefan listened patiently, nodding and sighing in all the right places and generally trying to be a comforting friend. By the end he had his arm tucked around Brian’s shoulders and was attempting to drown his band mate’s sorrows with more wine.
“And then..” Brian choked through a small sob, “And then he said it was over.”
By that point it was too much for Brian. The whole situation had seemed too surreal before then, as if it wasn’t really happening and he was just a spectator in some other persons fucked up life. But telling the events to one of his best friends brought the truth back home with a crash. He had screwed up one of the most perfect relationships he had ever known, and he would never see Ben again. He dissolved into silent tears, burying his face into Stefan’s arm and wishing he had never left. They stayed like that for a while, locked in a comforting embrace while Brian’s sobbing slowly subsided. He eventually mumbled something about having to go home and sleep, but Stefan was having none of it. He insisted that Brian stay the night and led him to the large double bed. The smaller man fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow, and Stefan stayed for a while to watch him before retreating to the sofa for the night.
Chapter 11:
Brian awoke at an unsuitably early time after a fitful sleep. He padded quietly into the kitchen so as not to wake Stef, but was surprised to see him sitting in there already with a coffee. If Brian had been a bit more awake and attentive he would have noticed his friends red-rimmed eyes. But as it was, he just continued to the kettle and noticed not much except that he had no cigarettes. He settled himself next to Stefan at the table and gratefully accepted the cigarette that was offered to him. They sat in silence for a while as Brian allowed himself time to wake up, both sipping tentatively at their coffees.
“Thanks for listening to me last night Stef. I really needed to get it all out.” Brian said gratefully after a while.
“That’s ok. I’m sure you’d do the same for me.” Stef replied with a small smile. “Do you still want to go into the studio today though? I’m sure I could phone Alex, explain the circumstances and get you a few more days.”
“No, I’ll go today. I have something I would like to record anyway.” Brian insisted.
“Ok.” Stef agreed, still feeling slightly concerned.
They arrived at the studio at 9am, both freshly dressed and ready for a day of creativity. As usual there was no-one else there yet, so the two of them went into the studio and started to set up their equipment. After about half an hour of playing around with their instruments, Steve and their technician showed up.
“Hey Stef, Brian.” Steve smiled broadly as he entered the studio to see his band mates already getting into the creative spirit.
“So Bri, has your french lover inspired you to write some cracking music? Are you gonna wear a beret when recording?” He joked, “No seriously, how’s Ben enjoying sunny London?”
The singer and bassist both fell silent as Steve talked mindlessly, unaware of the mistakes he was making. Stef’s face twisted into a grimace as he realised he had forgotten to inform Steve of Brian’s situation. Brian just stayed silent, his hands frozen in place on his guitar fret board.
“What? What did I say?” Steve asked in a confused manner as Stef quickly led him out of the studio.
“Bri and Ben.. ah I’ll explain later. Basically they broke up and Brian came home alone.” Stef explained in a hushed voice.
“Oh… shit.” Steve replied as he realised his previous comments weren’t exactly tactful.
“So it would be good if you kept the French jokes to yourself.” Stef continued.
“Oh yeh sure. God I’m sorry. If I would have known-” Steve was interrupted by Brian opening the door behind them.
“Um, guys. Would it be ok if I had the studio for half an hour to myself? I just wanna get some guitar parts sorted.” He asked in a quiet voice, looking between the two.
“That’s fine, I need to explain some things to Steve anyway.” Stef replied, giving Brian a meaningful glance. Brian nodded knowingly and closed to door again, leaving the pair to talk in peace.
Stef and Steve took a long tour of the recording studio buildings, with Stef explaining the occurrences in France on the way. He was pretty sure that Brian didn’t want to repeat the story anymore, so he felt it was his duty to fill Steve in on the details. At the end Steve let out a long sigh.
“Wow.. I bet he’s kicking himself for that one. They seemed so right for each other, from what I heard.” He said bluntly as they arrived back at the studio door.
“Mm so understandably he’s upset. He just needs to take it easy for a while and get back into his normal routine.” Stef said as he opened the door.
Brian was sat in the middle of the room with an acoustic guitar balanced on his lap, hastily scribbling some chords on a piece of paper.
“Are you done yet Bri?” Steve asked as Brian looked up at them.
“Oh yeh, nearly done. I’d like to record it now if that’s ok with you guys?” he asked.
Stef and Steve looked at him in surprise.
“Uhm yeh, yeh that’s fine. We’ll just go into the mixing room.” Stef replied after a few seconds.
They went into the adjacent room silently, watching through the glass panel as Brian adjusted his guitar.
“Ready when you are.” The technician said over the speakers, pressing the record button.
Brian took a deep breath and started to strum two simple chords. He started to sing, quietly, in a haunting voice. The chorus kicked in and he changed the chords, singing a bit louder and more desperately, before coming to a quiet climax. He repeated this again, with a gradually building crescendo at the end, his voice raising as he strained his vocal chords.
“One more time for me.”
All was quiet for a few moments before he ploughed on with the verse, the chorus changing right at the end as he seemed to push his voice to its limits. Stef and Steve watched in quiet awe. The combination of a simple acoustic guitar and the emotion-filled voice sounded incredible. They both understood why he had wanted to get it recorded straight away; it didn’t need anything else. The song ended with the same two simple chords it had started with, and Brian stayed silent for a few moments after he had finished.
“That.. was perfect, first time.” The technician said over the speaker, sounding a bit overwhelmed. Brian just looked up and smiled at his band mates through the glass.
Chapter 12:
Friday 4th August
Brian looked nervously past the curtain at the small, but packed out room. It was their first gig since their last tour, and a kind of pre-album release showcase. There was an equal mix of fans and journalists in the room, as everyone had turned up to see what their new material was like.
The band had decided on only one support act as they wanted to get into the gig as soon as possible. They had ended a while ago so the only thing Brian was waiting for now was the roadies to finish setting up. He felt a mixture of excitement and nervousness, and was so lost in his thoughts that he jumped when someone squeezed his shoulder. He turned around to see Stef smiling down at him.
“It’ll be fine.” He said encouragingly, as Steve appeared by his side.
“It will.” Steve agreed as the lights went out in the venue. “Now lets go kick some arse.”
They all walked on stage together to a loud screaming and clapping from everyone in the room. Brian swung his guitar over his shoulder and they launched into the first song from the new album. The applause was tumultuous at the end, and Brian felt really encouraged to continue.
They played a storming set of about 20 songs, ranging from the new album to their first. The crowd eagerly accepted it all, screaming and chanting for more when the band went off just before the encore.
Brian stood backstage, drenched in sweat and gulping down a bottle of water. No one was saying anything, but they all had large grins plastered on their faces. It was most definitely a brilliant show, and the perfect welcome back onto the music scene. Now all that remained was the encore. They had chosen a few classic hits to play, just to remind the crowd of the true Placebo spirit. Just as Brian was changing his shirt over, the “Taste in Men” loop started to play on the stage. He smiled as his two band mates went back on. Steve started drumming as the crowd went wild again, and Stef began to dance with a mischievous grin on his face. He waited until they had repeated it a few times before joining them onstage himself with his guitar.
The encore went flawlessly, with the crowd still loving every second. But towards the end of “Twenty Years”, when the bright spotlights were illuminating the crowd, Brian spotted a flash of something familiar. His eyes quickly scanned the heaving mass of bodies until he saw it again. A face with black hair, blue eyes and an unrecognisable expression. Ben.
Brian blinked and looked again, missing a chord as he continued to play. It was him, there was no doubt about it. A sudden feeling of panic rose inside him as he struggled to finish the song. Stef was casting worried glances his way as he continued to mess up the chords, until finally the song was over. Brian quickly gave his guitar to the waiting roadie and fled the stage. He sat down at the side, gasping as if his lungs couldn’t remember how to function. Stef and Steve quickly followed him and looked down with concerned expressions.
“Bri, are you ok?” Stef was the first to speak.
“Yeh yeh, I’m.. erm..” Brian muttered, “I need to change the last song.”
“Um ok. You wanna change it to-”
“Yes.” He replied, his gaze flickering between the pair above him. “I just need to.. you know.. exorcise some demons.”
Stef nodded at him.
“We understand. I’ll ask the roadies to find your acoustic.” He said before wandering off backstage. Brian stayed on the floor for a bit longer, trying to calm his breathing and stop his heart pounding like mad. Steve just sat down next to him, and although they didn’t speak the presence was comforting. Eventually Stef reappeared with one of the roadies clutching an acoustic guitar. Brian gratefully accepted it and gave his band mates one last fleeting smile before stepping back onto the stage. A stool had already been set up for him in the middle so he took a seat in front of the microphone.
“Um, we were going to play Nancy Boy right about now, but a change of circumstances has led to a change of setlist, you know. This is a very special song off the new album. It’s very personal to me and is dedicated to someone. They know who they are.” He said as he gazed meaningfully into the crowd.
“It’s called Then The Clouds Will Open For Me”
Brian started to strum, and the crowd fell silent, all of them hanging on his every word. All the time he was playing, he was searching the crowd for Ben. Brian knew he was there somewhere, watching. He could feel it. As he played his mind came alive with images of France, with each word bringing back more memories and emotions. He became lost in the music, although his eyes continued their desperate search. Then just as he reached the final chorus, something tugged at his heart and he knew Ben could feel it too. It suddenly felt as though they were the only two people in the room, and although he couldn’t see him, it was as if Ben was standing right in front of him.
Then the song was over and the crowd were clapping and cheering madly. Ben was no longer stood in front of Brian, but at the back behind some fans and reporters, out of sight still. Stefan and Steve were dragging him off stage, beaming broadly and clutching alcohol in anticipation of the after party. Brian shook them off him, thinking to himself that time was going suspiciously quick as he darted through a door and into the main hall. The crowds were gathered towards the back, all waiting impatiently to pass through the small set of doors and back into the fresh air. He quickly made his way through them, searching for the tall figure. No-one noticed him as they were all too busy trying to get outside. The crowd was thinning quicker now and Brian was getting more frantic with his search. Every time he saw a lock of black hair or a flash of blues eyes he turned in their direction, only to be disappointed.
Eventually there were a dozen people left inside the hall and Brian realised his hunt had been fruitless. He made his way solemnly backstage again, ignoring all the celebrating roadies and people offering him congratulations on the successful gig. He went into his dressing room, closed the door and sunk into a chair in the corner of the room. He buried his face in his hands, just sitting in silence for a while, content with just his own thoughts for company. Ben was gone, it was over, Brian could move on. But it didn’t quite feel right, it felt unresolved in a way. Why had Ben been there tonight? Was he exorcising some demons of his own? It seemed a long way to come just for that. Brian couldn’t help but still cling to what was left of his hope.
A soft knocking on the door brought him out of his thoughts, and as he turned his head to face it something on the desk caught his eye. He turned back round and saw something silver laying on the otherwise immaculate surface. A small, spiral design pendant attached to a thin leather cord. He picked it up gently in his hand as the knocking on his dressing room door continued. Ben had returned his necklace. There was a significance so simple and yet so deep about the gesture. They now had nothing to remind them of each other, except for memories. There was nothing left binding them together. Nothing for one of them to find months, even years later hidden in a drawer and bring back painful recollections. As Brian held the pendant in his hand, he knew it was finally over. They could both try to move on. And he knew that was the last he would see of Ben, at least for a very long time.
End.
